No, of course that’s not White Oprah. If it was White Oprah, she’d be bent over and one dude would be snorting a line of k (she’s vintage like that) off of one ass cheek while another dude did a Thunderbird vodka shot off of the other ass cheek. It’s really Nana Lohan. No, it’s not Nana Lohan. Nana Lohan only wears thongs. She has the body for it. It’s Lindsay Lohan!
The original Oprah’s adopted child went down to Miami, because it’s Art Basel time and the coke is falling from the skies so her nostrils grew wings and flew her there. But really, even though LiLo’s naan bread ass looks like it’s frowning at me, at least she hasn’t broken a bottle over anybody’s head or run over a toddler with her rental car yet. So there’s that. And hopefully bitch leaves Miami soon, because all the barely legal Florida white dudes whose parents handcuffed them to the water heater in the garage to keep them away from her ass are starting to lose circulation in their wrists.