Open Post: Hosted By Bill Nye’s Final Dance On DWTS

Bill Nye’s extra bitchy ligament just wouldn’t let him be great and tore last week during his performance on Dancing with No Stars (and Bill Nye and Valerie Harper and Nomi Malone). Even though his body was a little torn up and doctors told him to sit his ass down for a while, he still got up and danced with his partner Tyne Daly (I wish his partner was Tyne Daly) during last night’s show. Bill Nye did the Robot to “Get Lucky” and he looked like an inexperienced yet eager bottom trying to take a 10″ burrito dick. What I mean by that is, he looked like he was in severe pain while having the time of his life and you couldn’t tell if he wanted it to go on forever or if he wanted it to end so he could scream for a paramedic. Bill gave it his everything, but he still got a 16. 16 is higher than Snooki’s IQ, but he was still at the bottom.

Because DWTS is fixed and those evil whores love screwing with emotions, Bill was sent home. So the bad news is, we won’t get our weekly dose of Bill Nye dancing like a turtle on Ambien. But the good news is, Bill Nye no longer has to wear low-budget costumes that look like a catcher’s outfit that was sloppily spray painted silver and covered in glued-on tube lights.