Open Post: Hosted By Corner Curio Cabinet

September 19, 2013 / Posted by:

In case you haven’t shaken your head at this, here’s the reason why a Wheel of Fortune contestant named Paul Atkinson called up his parents and every single one of his teachers last night and screamed at them for not teaching how to say the goddamn word CURE-E-O!

During his turn, Paul landed on the $1 million wedge. All he had to do was solve the clue, win the bonus round and land on the $1 million envelope during his bonus spin. That sounds like a lot, but at least Paul knew he had a chance to win $1 million. But his dreams of becoming a hundred thousand-aire (after taxes) were killed by the word “curio.” The clue was pretty much spelled out for him, but Paul screwed it up when he pronounced “curio” wrong. The judges didn’t accept his answer and the dude in the pink shirt won the round. Paul told ABC News afterward that he’s never seen that word before:

“I was nervous! I’ve got Pat freaking Sajak to my immediate right … I’ve got lights and cameras in my face. I’d never seen that word before. [It was my] biggest nightmare. I knew I messed up. I knew something awesome could’ve happened, but I totally goofed it.”

Paul is way too calm. If I was him, I would’ve ripped my little bow tie off, snatched Pat Sajak’s wig and tore that place up. I would’ve threatened to take their unjustified ruling all the way to the supreme court using the “You know what I meant, bitch!” defense. The winner of Big Brother gets $500,00 and they have to live with a bunch of pieces of trash for 3 whole months. Paul could’ve gotten $1 million in one night.

I bet he developed a serious hate for corner curio cabinets real quick. Every time he sees a corner curio cabinet, he’s going to knee that bitch right in the middle shelf.

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