When I first saw these pictures of Joe Manganiello at 2013 Style Awards in NYC last night, I made the same face White Oprah makes whenever she comes in contact with her youngest son Cody Lohan. I made the “I know I know you from somewhere…..” face.
I almost didn’t recognize Joe ManJell-O with all the wolf hair shaved off of his face. It took 8 razors, 12 razor sharpeners, 19 gallons of water and 30 tubs of shaving cream to shave off his beard. It’s not that he had a lot of beard. It’s just that his hair is so coarse and so manly. They couldn’t put his shaved-off hair in the sink, because it’ll clog the drain and every drain. So his assistant put it in a Hefty bag and donated it to Brillo. Yes, we’re scrubbing our pots and pans with Joe ManJello-O’s beard hair. It’s that coarse and that hardcore. It also grows really fast. Ten seconds before this picture was taken, Joe ManJell-O shaved his face again and a second after the flash went off, he already had a 5 o’clock shadow and his 5 o’clock shadow had a 5 o’clock shadow.
I don’t even care that it looks like he’s wearing a three-piece denim suit, I’d hit it. I’d hit it clean shaven. I’d hit it hairy. I’d hit it if he was covered in Donald Trump’s ass hairs.