Beth Ditto Got Married

July 24, 2013 / Posted by:

Beth Ditto got married in Maui, Hawaii recently to her girlfriend who I really thought was Jenny Shimizu for about thirty five seconds. (No, not all Asian lesbians look the same to me,thankyouverymuch! Just Asian lesbians with Jason Bateman circa 1991 haircuts.) Beth wore a dress she wore in Jean Paul Gaultier’s show a couple of years ago and her new wife Kristin Ogata wore an adult person version of the first communion shorty suit I wore as a kid. Kristin is wearing it better, because mine was about four sizes too big and I wore it with white socks and black shoes. Tacky, I know. All of Beth and Kristin’s guests wore white too, which means that there was at least one lady there who nervously clapped and smiled while thinking to herself, “Please don’t let my coochie reenact the elevator scene from The Shining right now….please.

Beth announced her marriage on Facebook last night (via The Daily Mail):

“At long last, now that we have returned home and recovered from all the amazingness and had some time to bask in the afterglow, we are excited to share with you a pic or two from Beth and Kristin’s wedding,” said a post on the Facebook page of Ditto’s band, The Gossip. “So much love and appreciation to all of our family and friends who celebrated with us! And a huge thank you to Jean Paul Gaultier for the dream-come-true dress!”

Congratulations to Beth and Kristin. And I really hope that during the reception, drunk ass Beth ran into the middle of the dance floor and chanted, “Obama! Obama!” 

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