I think that screen shot totally confirms that Maryann the Maenad is controlling Paula. I knew it!
Some of you may have already made a mental note to go to Home Deport after work to pick up a box of Paula Deen’s bacon-flavored screws (since they’ll be out of stock soon) and now you should make a mental note to also go to Target to pick up a package of Paula Deen’s butter enemas. Because Target has joined the long list of hos who don’t want to be seen with Paula Deen. “I is what I is and I is unemployed as fuck” – Paula Deen
Yesterday, ‘Murica’s kingdom of rollback prices and holiness, Walmart, publicly broke up with Paula Deen and today Target announced that they’re doing the same thing. Target told TMZ that they aren’t ordering anymore of Paula’s products:.
“We have made a decision to phase out the Paula Deen merchandise in our stores as well as on Target.com. Once the merchandise is sold out, we will not be replenishing inventory.”
Novo Nordisk (no, that isn’t the name of a Hunger Games character), the company that makes the diabetes medication that Paula Deen started hawking as soon she realized that she could make money from having diabetes, said yesterday that they have pressed the pause button on their relationship with her. Novo Nordisk hasn’t dumped Paula, but they’re on a break and every now and again they might have regretful, awkward sex with her when no one’s looking.
Novo Nordisk and Paula Deen have mutually agreed to suspend our patient education activities for now, while she takes time to focus her attention where it is needed.
Novo Nordisk would like to acknowledge Paula’s involvement in our Diabetes in a New Light™ campaign, where she has helped make many people aware of type 2 diabetes and the lifestyle changes needed to control this serious disease.
So Target, Walmart, Home Depot, The Food Network, Smithfield Foods and Caesars have all dropped Paula and the diabetes drug company is taking a break from her. Whatever, Paula doesn’t need them! She still has her contract with Klandike Bars and White Power Shortening. AND Royal Caribbean said that the annual Paul Deen Cruise is selling so well that they’re adding another one. The rep said that spaces are limited, although there’s still plenty of cots available in the blacks only lower deck.
And AND Paula’s latest book “Paula Deen’s New Testament: 250 Favorite Recipes, All Lightened Up” has jumped up Amazon’s bestsellers list. Yes, her book is really called that. ALL LIGHTENED UP. Ha. I see what you did there, Paula. Keep fucking that buttermilk fried chicken.