Somebody's Going To Marry Janice Dickinson
Gold diggers of the world, you now have a new icon to pay tribute to. Janice Dickinson is proving that you can never be too insane or plastic faced to catch a rich ass husband. Take note, Lindsay Lohan. The world's first supermodel (the world being the bubble of craziness she lives in) tells TooFab that sometime next spring, she will become somebody's wife for the fourth time and will become a doctor's wife for the first time. Janice's piece of a few months Dr. Robert Gerner, who has a cautious look on his face like he's always prepared to be slapped with a silicone titty bag by a crazed banshee, gave her a diamond Victorian promise ring and he will give her a real engagement ring sometime soon.
Janice and Dr. Robert's love started blooming a few months ago when they met on a blind date at Chateau Marmont. Janice said she knew right away that he's the one whose life she wants to ruin and went on to say that "he's the ying to my yang." Janice and Dr. Robert recently bought a Hollywood Hills home together and they're throwing a housewarming/engagement party this weekend. They've invited Kunty Karl (no joke), Donatella Versace (no joke), Sandra Bullock (no joke) and Slash (he'll probably show up).
You're probably assuming that Dr. Robert is a plastic surgeon, because he obviously appreciates a non biodegradable goddess who has been shellacked a thousand times over, but you're wrong. The punchline is that Dr. Robert is a psychiatrist. I know, it's almost as if Dr. Robert is an undercover agent for The Los Angeles County Department Of Mental Health and was hired to lure Janice Dickinson to their "new love nest in the Hollywood Hills" (aka Cedars Sinai Psychiatry Department). It's a set up! Run, Janice, ruuuuuuuun (but not before you grab Dr. Robert's empty prescription pad and all his samples of Xanax).
(Pic via Flickr)
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Now that Michael Jackson & Elizabeth Taylor are dead, that whole new Addams Family fell apart with them, David whats-his-name & Liza Minnelli. I guess these two are the new Addams Family.
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"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."
Submitted by oh dave on Sat, 12/15/2012 - 7:49pm.
I don't understand why ANYONE would invite Kunty Karl, and not just because vampires can only enter your house if invited. I'd think that when celebrating anything, you wouldn't want this hate-filled little man coming in.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
John McEnBloomberg meets Anus DickInSon, Ugh.
I don't know if I already said this, but 1) Dude looks gay, and 2) he looks like he died 15 minutes before the picture was taken.
I wish them the best of luck in what will undoubtedly be a lengthy and rewarding marriage.
@ persistent cat: "...is he someone's dementia-suffering uncle that she found at a wedding and now she just drags around, like a puppy."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!
She does have a death grip on the old coot. Maybe he's one doughnut short of a dozen and she knows it. End well? Only for Janet the ELDERLY SUPERMODEL. golddigger extraordinaire.
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Hooker, please.
His body language says it all. As someone said, he has "help me!" eyes, and it's like his torso is trying to move away from her as she clings to him with her maniacal grin. End well: this isn't going to.
Spongebabe Squaretits is marrying Larry David's stunt double?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Dr. Grim Reaper bucket list:
#13. Nab an elderly supermodel as a wife.
(High five to Tigerlilly for that one)
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Hooker, please.
she looks calm, peaceful and happy. Let's let them enjoy the holidays and then see what happens!
Tigerlilly,
I bet Dr. Useless had a half dozen ex-wives, kids he never spoke to, two different color socks on, and only ate orange food laid out in lines. And you're right.... moms will tell you you're a piece of shit free of charge. If I want to be belittled, who better than a demented family member with the same fucked up genetics to advise my sorry ass? FOR FREE.
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Hooker, please.
Submitted by mahaatma on Sat, 12/15/2012 - 8:47pm.
@ Tigerlilly
Spot on Tiger... .. I've known a few psychiatrists and they are as cray- cray as their patients mostly. How else could you listen to that same selfish shit day in and day out? And I agree he thinks he bagged himself the supermodel he's always deserved. This looks like a match made in heaven until she chews his corpsey face off and picks her
teefs with his bones..... which he also deserves.
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AMEN. I went to a shrink who told me my job wasn't good enough (someone with a highschool diploma could do my job according to him); my work out routine wasn't good enough (my build was that of a 'natural athelete' according to him.). My diet was not to his liking because he felt I should be more concerned about the mercury in the tuna I ate for lunch every once in a while.
Finally, I had enough of his uppity ass and dumped that bag of crazy. Shit, I can just have dinner with my mother if I want the whole "YOU SUCK and here's why." speech. Bitch will likely pick up the check too. Unlike Dr. Useless.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
@ Tigerlilly
Spot on Tiger... .. I've known a few psychiatrists and they are as cray- cray as their patients mostly. How else could you listen to that same selfish shit day in and day out? And I agree he thinks he bagged himself the supermodel he's always deserved. This looks like a match made in heaven until she chews his corpsey face off and picks her
teefs with his bones..... which he also deserves.
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Hooker, please.
He looks like a vampire that is ready for a feeding.
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Submitted by agirl on Sat, 12/15/2012 - 8:08pm.
He looks terrified and she looks terrifying. Perfect!
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LOL, He reminds me of Dr. Rene (Paul Freeman) in Raiders of the Lost Ark - Perfectly terrified, yes! hehehe
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a257/DCform2/After%20the%20Power/Raide... (wedding night photo) ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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My bro is a head shrinker and he said A LOT of folks go into psychology/psychiatry to fix they own crazy. He didn't use those specific words, but I'm keepin' it REAL up in the Dlisted house.
I reckon a bunch of narcisstic types go into it too with the attitude "I'm such a superior being that I can fix you, and if not, you are beyond help". Janice is clearly not only troubled but narcissistic. Narcissists gravitate toward each other because they feel "only special people can understand me."
I reckon this Dr. Grim Reaper mother fucker always believed he deserved a 'supermodel' as a wife, but was so incredibly shallow and narcissistic that he could only nab an elderly one... BUT she's still SPECIAL, you see...not ordinary.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
It sounds like a win win for Janice. He can write her prescriptions for Bath Salts and also be the "something old" at the wedding. Or maybe the "something dead" by the looks of that photo.
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Hooker, please.
How old is this broad??? Her chest bone looks 50ish, her neck looks 60ish, her hands looke 60ish and her face---I can't even put a decade on that. I feel a little bad for her. Can you fix that. I don't think so.
Dr. Robert Gerner needs a good Psychiatrist.
He looks terrified and she looks terrifying. Perfect!
J.D.: If only I could hold my wrinkles in...I'd never inhale or exhale!
He is just as scary. But the real story here is about inviting Karl Lagerfeld to their home. How do you do that? Do they know him? Karl doesn't seem like he would mix with psychiatrists even if they are rich and she's the one that used to open the refrigerator for Bob Barker on Price Is Right and that doesn't seem like something... hmmmm, I could see that being it. I could see Karl getting really excited and making everyone be quiet during the showcase showdown.
If either one of them can get Karl Lagerfeld to appear I would marry them. Just putting that out there.
http://13-mitred-abbots.tumblr.com/
These two look straight out of Tales From the Crypt.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Submitted by lislop on Sat, 12/15/2012 - 4:21pm.
He was hanging out at the Chateau Marmont?? When? Maybe the AARP was having their Christmas party there.
LOL. Maybe he was treating one of the denizens or handing out uppers or whatever the kids are taking today?
Hmm, story sounds strangely familiar to the Difficult Brown story. If we hear about a Vegas wedding, an 85 yr old memaw tossing green bean casserole at an ingrate daughter-in-law's head, a suicide attempt, a divorce, and skid marks over the Chrismas holiday, we'll know who it is. Then Janice can call Sinead and compare brown wedding dresses. Or maybe their exes can co-write a book for the Kinsey Institute.
as my husband would say, "he's probably rich and has a bad cough"
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
This gives me hope of finding my own "one foot on the grave, the other foot on a banana peel" spouse! Get it Janice!
He was hanging out at the Chateau Marmont?? When? Maybe the AARP was having their Christmas party there.
LOL, GG- I always do!! In fact I've been choosing NOT to post much lately as I am in a depression spiral again and I get extra-extra snarky and bitchy at those times. (I know, more than usual, right?)
How are you doing? Did you hear the NHL wants to file unfair labor practices against the union?? Jeebuz, just get on the ice and drop the fucking puck already.
The "mad psychiatrist" is a silly stereotype that originated in fiction; he is, however, not exactly dispensing with it by hooking up with this lunatic.
Tell me how you really feel Hockey fan.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by Persistent Cat on Sat, 12/15/2012 - 12:20pm.
He kind of looks like an old version on Stewart, the comic book store owner on Big Bang Theory.
^^^^^^
DIMED. This. lolz
File this under "F" for "ALL THE FUCKS I DON'T GIVE."
She a has-been. Who cares?
Where are the interesting celebs?
* by lastdiva on Sat, 12/15/2012 - 12:25pm.
"Janice is one facelift away from having a beard."
** I recall Patsy dishing this line on AbFab.
She looks eager and he looks dead so I suppose it is bliss and meant to be.
edited
Embalming fluid is the glue that will keep them together. Congrats you crazy kids.
She's no spring chicken, but he looks like her grandfather.
I'm sick of looking at Janice's plastic face. Where's MK???
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No escapin' when I start
Once I'm in, I own your heart.
Submitted by cocoebert
In Switzerland psychiatrists are among the lowest-paid doctors...
Maybe that's why they're content to eat cheese with holes in it.
She's one more bump of filler away from looking like that cat woman Wildenstien.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
He went to a crap medical school (Oklahoma), is affiliated with one hospital (the VA in Westwood), and specializes in bipolar disorder and manic depression.
She's supposably Catholic but all 4 of her ex-hubs (per IMDb) and the father of her teenaged daughter were/are Jewish.
She not only claims (incorrectly) to be the world's first supermodel: she claims she invented the word. But it was in use years before she says she invented it. So, as usual, MK nailed it.
He looks spooky. He probably has a dungeon in his basement, that he has Janice lock him into.
Janice is nuts and looks ridiculous, but I appreciated her bold honesty when she was on ANTM. Tyra was always trying to make the ugly girls seem more attractive than they really were, but Janice cut threw her bull.
I dated a psychiatrist once. It was great. Super easy going. No stress. Too bad he was 30 years older than me.
Janice is probably a very nice lady with a few mental kinks to work out. I'm sure they will be very happy together. MAZEL TOV!
I'm sorry, but his expression is blowing the cover off of this entire plot! Lol. He has 'help me' eyes.
* 100% hotness verified by WHAMO. :P *
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Did they really have to dig up Amenhotep and Queen Tiye for this pic? Y u no leave mummies alone?
Skeletor is getting married?! He-man must be so devastated.
"No intelligent life form writes in caps lock" ~GOD
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I can't remember if it was Joan Rivers or Phyllis Diller who said this but to paraphrase:
"Janice is one facelift away from having a beard."
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
Submitted by Fleass on Sat, 12/15/2012 - 12:00am.
Completely OT... The asshole shot his mother in the face at their house and then drove to the school to kill the children??? Is this correct?
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you're right, the mother was shot at home. I'm seeing so many reports.
Does he even know? She says he gave her a promise ring (the international symbol for epic love) but does he know? Or is he someone's dementia-suffering uncle that she found at a wedding and now she just drags around, like a puppy.
He kind of looks like an old version on Stewart, the comic book store owner on Big Bang Theory.