Katt Williams Is Retiring From Stand-Up
Because everybody is announcing their retirement today, Katt Williams took his final bow as a stand-up comic on the streets of Seattle last night. Katt's retirement comes after his three-week tour of fuckery. During the past three weeks, Katt did all of the following:
- The evil spirit of a Bad Girls Club cast member got into Katt Williams when he broke a bottle over someone's head at a club in Oakland, CA.
- Katt Williams took Sacramento police on the most anti-climactic three-wheeled motorcycle chase ever.
- Katt Williams slapped a Target employee and escaped on your nana's shopping scooter.
- Katt Williams attacked three of his fans after a show in Seattle.
- Katt Williams got kicked out of a sports bar in Seattle and was arrested after a woman got hit in the face with a lit cigarette he threw into her car.
Katt told KOMO News last night that he's done with telling jokes on stage and he might stay in Seattle for a little while. Katt is trying to buy an old state ferry for $301,000 and he plans to stay there with his family until he's done suing the city of Seattle for $50 million. Katt said:
"If they will accept our bid... I will take me and my whole staff on that boat because I still have a court date four days from now and can't leave and I've been kicked out of four hotels in two days and I've been arrested by three different sets of officers four different times detained by two sets of officers. I can stay there [on the ferry] and my family can be there and my dogs can be there and my whole staff can be there until we get done suing Seattle for this $50 million that I want for crippling my reputation as a father and a black man and as a taxpaying citizen and as a person who is not a convicted felon.
This was a place I like to bring my kids and let them do stuff without people caring who they were. I got arrested in front my kids three times in my three days stay in Seattle... And all we were doing was coming into town to sell jokes and police department painted me as some sort of public menace that came to town.
I'm just gonna go ahead and announce my retirement from standup, I'm kinda done. I've discussed it with my kids, I wasn't gonna do in the middle of a Seattle street, I was going to go to Los Angeles and do it in the offices of ICM or LiveNation."
Never mind that they're a different race and gender, but Lindsay Lohan and Katt Williams have to be the same person. Read that statement again in Lindsay Lohan's voice and it makes even more sense. Spoken like a true Lohan. Either LiLo and Katt Williams are the same person or they're closely related. I won't say I told you so when The National Enquirer writes about the secret affair White Oprah had with the late Gary Coleman many years ago.
Yes, Katt needs to be 5150'd, but wearing that hot Kurt Cobain t-shirt is the sanest thing he's done in a while.
(Thanks, Cormac)


Submitted by ditquoi on Wed, 12/05/2012 - 11:07am.
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He wasn't just making fun of black people in the pixie skit. He made fun of more than just blacks. Also, The Black White Supermacist was still racial, and one of many racially comedic skits performed by Chappelle. You don't get to pick and chose what is acceptable and what isn't when it comes to racial humor. If you decide to go there, period, you kind of lose your right to get offended.
The Pixie Skit was along the same vein as the Clayton Bisgby skit because he was making fun of stereotypes. I don't think it bothered him to be honest, I just think he used that excuse to get out of working on a show he no longer found pleasurable due to working over 20 hours a day for more than 5 days a week. He just needed a backup excuse to make it seem more justified. Also like others have speculated, I think Dave Chappelle suffers from a mental illness or was burnt out. Something definetly wasn't clicking all the way when he made his decision. I don't care what anyone says.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 6:59pm.
Also in regards to Dave Chappelle, I read somewhere that while he was on the Chappelle show, he felt it was ruining his life because he disliked working long hours, and he also had issues with the stereotypical racial content of one of the skits( ironic coming from someone who had no problem making an episode about a black blind white supremacist, but whatever).
supposedly it was a skit where he was supposed to appear in blackface? Clayton Bigsby was about poking fun at racists and the notion of racial supremacy. all good people should take every opportunity to poke fun at racists and racism, especially in a public forum. but the skit he was about to do seemed to him to be poking fun at Black people in a way that smacked of blacksploitation...and he couldn't deal with that.
Is "retiring from stand-up" a hip new euphemism the black folks are using to mean "going to prison? Because that's where this asshole is going. Let's get a urine sample from this loser idiot, immediately.
And all throughout the land, not a single fuck was given.
The drugs is kickin' yo ass, bich!
I think Katt Williams wishing he was Dave Chappelle, but he's not! I think Dave had more issues than just wanting to "get out of the business." He was acting in odd and erratic ways before he quit his show. Sure, he can say he didn't have a break-down or mental health issues, but lots of people with those same issues say that. I always took that as Dave being in denial. I definitely thought he was bipolar and undiagnosised. What Dave did that Katt should learn from is to just walk away. Don't given any reasons for it.
AS A BLACK MAN!!!!!
(Seriously, someone call the brother a doctor. He is showing signs of some kind of mental breakdown and suffering from serious delusions, and not just the usual kind associated with egotistical celebs.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jU6un9HtcRQ
he doesn't look well. i hope he gets some help and his life together.
It really is time to go to rehab for exhaustion.
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I thought the ski goggles were a nice touch. 5150 fer sure but the dude has #swag.
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
katts standup is hilarious. i think he is whacked out on prescription pills.....jmo
" I've been kicked out of four hotels in two days and I've been arrested by three different sets of officers four different times detained by two sets of officers...."
Check and MATE, Blohan. You got served.
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 9:04pm.
Well if he is really quitting stand-up, buying a $300,000 ferry doesn't seem too smart. >_<
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Right? Not to mention who the fuck would wanna live on a ferry?
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
typical black fashion???
right....
*********★******★*********
"Oh, let me see if there's any fucks stuck under
my nails. Nope. Fresh out of fucks."
Submitted by mharker on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 9:13pm.
Tiny and paranoid is not a healthy combination!
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Tiny and paranoid!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *dies*.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Tiny and paranoid is not a healthy combination!
(I've been watching Jay Pharaoh's Katt Williams impression pretty much on a loop for the past few days:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/426517)
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Well if he is really quitting stand-up, buying a $300,000 ferry doesn't seem too smart. >_<
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Event Horizon on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 7:40pm.
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That's actually not true on all accounts...
1.) I never said he owed his fans comedy and more shows. If he doesn't want to do stand-up anymore, or movies/tv shows, he doesn't owe that to anyone. HOWEVER, to blatantly shit on and disrespect the very people that made him famous and ultimately gave him the resource to afford his lifestyle, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY 100 PERCENT WRONG. He owes them respect. Plain and simple.
2.) Also, he DID NOT quit standup. After his little trip to Africa he came back, did a stand-up gig in L.A. and then went on tour AGAIN. He also held the record for longest standup set as recent as 2008 beating Dane Cook's record. Do some research next time.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
If they accept his bid on that ferry, it's only a matter of time before they find the bloated corpses of his family and staff not too far from where that ferry was last seen, let's get real. Tick.Tock...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I thought it was a Crazy Train.
@boredasfuck
Huh? Dave didn't just quit Comedy Central, he quit showbiz entirely! No standup no movie cameos no commercials, nothin!
I mean, he got into the business, saw that it wasn't for him and got the fuck out! He doesn't owe his fans, the public or Comedy Central a damn thing! Right or wrong he's entitled to his beliefs and no matter what happens next, he was one/if not thee greastest comidian of our time.
I'm glad he didn't sell out and take the 100 mill comedy central was offering him because the stress may very well have broken him and we'd have another Jim Biloushi or Katt on our hands with a subpar season of Chappelle show to boot!
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe energy. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
Just heard them talking about this on the radio. The employee that got slapped also got fired! He has no idea why.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
He's full of shit. Attacking people, throwing cigarettes at a family in their car, trashing your hotel room, attacking an innocent man at Target.. yet in typical black fashion it's "not my fault, it's all their fault". Can't even face the facts of what he's doing..a perpetual and forever victim.
I've lived in Seattle for years and have never been arrested..guess his theory that Seattle is out to falsely arrest people just makes him look that much dumber.
HOW DARE THEY ARREST ME. I AM FAMOUS AND SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO DO ALL THE FUCKED UP CRIME SHIT I WANT WITH NO CONSEQUENCES.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Katt Williams looks like him and Flava Flav were seperated at birth in that video.
Also in regards to Dave Chappelle, I read somewhere that while he was on the Chappelle show, he felt it was ruining his life because he disliked working long hours, and he also had issues with the stereotypical racial content of one of the skits( ironic coming from someone who had no problem making an episode about a black blind white supremacist, but whatever).
Dave's not ignorant. He's actually well educated and comes from a well educated family, however, I think he uses that mentality to feel as if he's above the industry he's in and, all the people (the fans) that made him as successful as he is, and he really just comes off as way too far up his own ass. So while I do miss Chappelle Show, and thought it was funny as hell,I don't miss Chappelle's "You know why my show is good? Because the network officials say you're not smart enough to get what I'm doing, and every day I fight for you. I tell them how smart you are. Turns out, I was wrong. You people are stupid." pretentious bullshit.
If you are gonna make content in hopes of getting fans, and then mock those said fans for making you successful, then fuck you.
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
.
Submitted by D-vine Lister on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 6:21pm.
That's not exactllllllly true. There are documented reports of Dave acting erratically the months before he went to Africa. Forcing a plane to divert and land, telling people he didn't know where he lived, tanking a comedy show and claiming it was on purpose. While it may not have been a breakdown - could have just been exhaustion - he didn't just have an epiphany and escape to Africa to avoid the evils of Hollywood. Something more than that was going on...
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Oh wow, I never heard about the plane thing, and him not knowing where he lived at the time.. comedians tank shows from time to time no one is perfect so that is understandable. I just see it from a different perspective I guess.. yes, i am a bit of a tin foil hat wear-er, but I believe that if your not doing exactly what your told by the people in charge (the ones paying you in show biz) they will slander your name in the press. Look at DMX for example. I know he was probably on drugs but they were shitting on dude constantly all because he was making songs talking bout giving thanks to the most high. I really think they offered Dave a crazy amount of money and expected certain things from him that were against his moral standing. Im not saying he had an epiphany, just that they were pressuring him to be something he is against. If you were under pressure and scrutiny (sp?) it would cause you to do some questionable, erratic things as well. I just think the people in hollywood that dont play by the rules go through some unimaginable horrible shit that causes them to lose it.. and now its Katts turn. Or im just talkin out my ass and Katt is bat cchit crazy *shrugs*
An announcement that Katt is entering rehab in 3...2...1
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"And it don't matter who you are, if I'm doin my job, its your resolve that breaks..Cause the hook brings you back, I ain't tellin you no lie. The hook brings you back, on that you can rely."
Submitted by D-vine Lister on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 6:21pm.
That's not exactllllllly true. There are documented reports of Dave acting erratically the months before he went to Africa. Forcing a plane to divert and land, telling people he didn't know where he lived, tanking a comedy show and claiming it was on purpose. While it may not have been a breakdown - could have just been exhaustion - he didn't just have an epiphany and escape to Africa to avoid the evils of Hollywood. Something more than that was going on...
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Your Chick-Fil-A is showing. - ISprainedMyUvula 8/3/2012
Submitted by Gracejones on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 6:13pm.
Dave Chappelle DID NOT have a breakdown of any kind, he went to Africa to get away from the evil in hollywood/entertainment business.. youtube his interviews with Oprah, and James Lipton. His interviews are dope, he says you shouldnt call someone crazy when you dont know their environment. . and his father told him to name his price before gettin into show business and he did.. hence, the trip to Africa. IMHO, thats hardly a breakdown, more like an awakening and I applaud Chappelle for getting OUT!!
Good glad he is giving it up, he wasn't any good anyway. His brand of low comedy only appealed to adolescent mentality. Douche.
Thats sad :(
Katt is HILARIOUS!! Hopefully this is just him venting/ going thru a rough patch, because id hate to have him retire from stand up so soon. I always use his "Dont tell me my hair aint luxurious.." line.
Poor little guy :(
This makes me sad. Katt's standup is hilarious and he's historically been a charitable dude, ie multiple foster kids. Drugs have to be involved here.Sarah Smile
He needs help.Dave LaChapelle went through something similar, I recall. A wee breakdown, he will get through it. I hope his family and friends are there for him.
What is all that junk hanging around his neck?
how does this guy have $300 K?
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Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 09/19/2012 - 10:19am.
Bitch, you are not better then Keanu Reeves!
Submitted by whippersnapper on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 4:39pm.
But WHY the fuck would someone want to move to a city that you have concocted in your little fantasy land that the local po-po's main objective is to just fuck with you because they have nothing better to do?
........
He's been thrown out of 3 Hotels during his stay there, doubt anyone else will rent him a decent room, and he probably can't leave 'cause of his legal issues? He's out on bail right?
He'd probably do better to rent a home under someone elses name, but then that wouldn't be as dramatic as 48576 people all relegated to a boat.
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
Oh, Katt. He's so funny, but he definitely needs a break. Can't be assaulting people, etc. Not good, dude.
aw- did I see a teardrop slide down his cheek around the :49 mark?
This guy was FUNNY, imho -- I hope he can get it together, make things right, and turn himself around.
*****
luscious_t requests asylum from Hollywood star whackers
Jayzus, he has CHILDREN?! >hold me<
yes honey Judge Judy said it best the other week when she pointed out how angry and hot tempered shorter men are, honey why is that? We don't know!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
and then she robbed a bank.
http://waterfloater.deviantart.com/
I had never heard of thus dude until the previous D post. Is he a drunk or duggie? Is he just an asshole? LieBlow's soul-mate.
"This world is a whore."
Submitted by rukiddingme on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 3:56pm.
I hadn't heard of this guy until yesterday & now he's retiring
LOL me too:) Could google him, nope
Yes that was a tear running down his face. I saw it last night. Either that or Seattle rain hit him in the eye. Go away dude.
Submitted by whippersnapper on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 4:39pm.
Excellent points. Until Katt gets off the bad shit, "they'll be out to get him" no matter where he goes (especially if they were assaulted by him first!).
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
He's a fucking muppet and for the first time in my life I wished I worked at the Target where he forgot he's all of 4 foot 9 inches of bullshit. They would definitely have a reason to fire me afterwards.
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I'd like to flay you with my rapier wit but I'm afraid it's about as dull as fucking your mother.
In other cracky news....According to MSN.com Lindsay Lohan says that her IRS problems are not her fault.
News at 11.....
Submitted by Deb on Tue, 12/04/2012 - 3:49pm.
hey whippersnapper! I doubt Katt cares what is legal, but the new law is a bonus! His voice sounds like he's been smoking crack.
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Yeah I know he most likely doesn't care if it's legal or not, but I must say Seattle does look very tempting to relocate to, even with a CA resident Prop 215 Card, LOL!
All of the crackies I have encountered were always sketchy and high strung, he seems really mellow and sad here.
And that does look like he shed a tear there.
Just one lone tear...for dramatic effect.
But WHY the fuck would someone want to move to a city that you have concocted in your little fantasy land that the local po-po's main objective is to just fuck with you because they have nothing better to do?
KATT face it...you act crazy, you attract crazy. Now go hang out with Hohan, you two were meant to be.
Don't stop there, Katt!
Retire...from LIFE!
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I like his comedy hopefully he gets help