In 2000, The Wonderful World of Disney aired a doll movie that was more terrifying than Talking Tina and Child’s Play combined and that doll movie was called Life-Size. In Life-Size, a young faced Lindsay Lohan plays a girl who uses magic to try to bring her mother back from the dead, but ends up giving life to the plastic doll her dad’s new piece gave her. It was Mannequin for little girls and gay boys, and it was the greatest thing both Tyra Banks and Lindsay Lohan have ever done.
Ty Ty knows Life-Size is the best thing she’s contributed to the world, because she’s coming back for more. Entertainment Weekly says that Ty Ty will executive produce and star in a sequel for the Disney Channel.
No word yet if Life-Size 2 will star Elizabeth Taylor’s #1 enemy Lindsay Lohan, but it better. How can you do a sequel to Life-Size without LiLo? My guess is that LiLo’s character grew up to become a major mess and was reunited with her Eve doll after breaking into her dad’s storage unit to look for stuff to sell for drug money. Then LiLo’s character realizes that the Eve doll was discontinued years ago and is probably worth a lot. So she trades her Eve doll in for a bump. What I’m saying is that I really hope Life-Size 2 takes place in a crack house.
And it better have a full-length version of this masterpiece in it: