Tuesday, September 25th 2012
Open Post: Hosted By The Escape Of All Escapes
Here's a squirrel in Germany doing what you probably did after seeing an up close picture of Gummi Bear's leg.
A dude in Germany walked into his kitchen and found a squirrel on some serious shit crawling the walls and going crazy. (This is what your brain cells look like when you take too many hits of meth.) This squirrel realized that he needed to quit this bitch instantly and gave the bye, ho of all bye, hos. Bitch turned himself into a propeller and I don't think he even chipped a nail. He's like the Miss Tandi Dupree of squirrels.
If that TV movie Desperate Lives was turned into a ballet starring squirrels, this would be a graceful dance interpretation of a cracked out Helen Hunt jumping out of a window.
via Buzzfeed
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This is so amazing on what they were able to do here. I just love how this works so much. So much that you can get from it all. Essential Flat Roofing
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Now Miller has to Toms Classics two missions to accomplish that are safeguard a potent battery that holds the essential to some kind of infinite Toms Shoes Men energy source and also shield this stunning female, June Toms Shoes Sale Companies' selling this football field grass' admit that 75% of there customers are dog owners and acknowledge most of this group purchase Toms Shoes for the doggie benefits-TOMS ShoesTOMS Shoes Toms Cordones is an American footwear company that is based in Santa Monica, California, which also operates a non-profit subsidiary, Friends of TOMS Most of the clothing is dark, coming in various shades of purples and dark bluesBecause of the competition in the market, businessmen are all doing their best in products to attractive Toms Botas customers Keeping in mind this problem, he looked forward to help these children and so he decided to create TOM shoes, a firm that would work as a social worker
Submitted by MR_F on Wed, 09/26/2012 - 2:15am.
"...Slapped in the ass by Jack?..."
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You have arrived my dear. You have arrived! XD
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"...If I put a Cleopatra wig on my asshole and painted cat eyes on it, it would look and act more like Elizabeth Taylor than LiLo does..."- MK
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Submitted by SandwichQueen on Wed, 09/26/2012 - 8:26am.
--
Nonsense, you go right ahead and jump in when you want. lol ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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who fucking cares about overpriced LeBootIn shoes?
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 11:10pm.
I go days were I feel like I don't have much to contribute. Or I write something, think it's either hysterical and/or brilliant, and no one think it's either and it's not acknowleddged at all. At times like that you think "why bother," but then I get a wave or hi from Within or Lucifer, et al., and I'm back in. I stick with it because I do care for my dlisted friends; you guys really do mean a lot to me.
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Late to the party but whatever.
There are days when I don't bother saying anything because it's easy to get lost in the shuffle of everyone else in comments, and I'm not that popular or known yet. The fact that I made a friend in Ms. Twat Muffin makes me so happy you have no idea, I don't have many real life friends (I blame Facebook for that) so Dlisted whores feel like family because of your like-minded hatred of everything and everyone.
Haha Foxxy, I remember that, I'd not read far enough back. Thought you'd decided to get another job. ololol So, you're starting in a few days?? I'll look forward to when you pop in then! Too bad you retired the "Dr." Foxxy, she'll be missed over there. :)
@RandéS, it was only for a checkup and they both had phones but didn't call a cab?! Something sounds odd with that story. Thrill-seekers? ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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@ bambam -- didn't you win the caption contest?
@ Within -- lol, you congratulated me on the job before, that's why u think i have a company car, lol :-D but i don't -- i probably did not write clearly. the agency has a couple of cars, which staff can sign out upon approval
@Jack -- glad you survived!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Slapped in the ass by Jack? Wow, I am honored! Believe me, passivity is not a characteristic of mine.
Thanks for the welcome, guys!
*waves aggressively*
Mr_F: welcome aboard!
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Thanks for clearing that up people! *waves to everyone*
Mani, I'm glad you're back! I saw that your name was blacked out a couple of months ago or so and I was so sad cuz I hadn't seen you in a bit.
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
SLAPS MR F'S aSS FOR BEING PASSIVE AGRESSIVE...
*sticks baby's ass in the corner*
*stands absolutly straight u[*
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"Shitty relationships mystify me." ~ mike 09/22/2012
"I'm back. You're Welcome." ~ Kenny Powers
FL man carjacks car to get pregnant GF to hospital, after his car runs out of gas and GF starts bleeding:
http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/2012/09/florida_man_carjacks_vehi...
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XXYYXX, About You
Foxxy, in case you come back... Did you get a new job? So no more shared company car? Yes and Congrats! ;)
*waves at Mr_F*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Bambam, heck no, you don't smell! What's this about winner? But fapping to Julia Louis-Dreyfus? *Blank stare* And I thought I knew ya... LOLOL
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Wed, 09/26/2012 - 12:37am.
Submitted by bambam on Wed, 09/26/2012 - 12:31am.
real quick, before my kitkat kills my ass for unfullfilled dinner expectations... hiya, bam!!
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hey easy! i know right? damn cats are fucking pyschotic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yX6FsTIq6ls
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You can't be pregnant. That rape was legitimate.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Wed, 09/26/2012 - 12:33am.
hi bambam, i mean WINNER!
i was thinking about you today as i was cursing and pulling up my traitorous tomato plants and preparing to put in the winter veggies. how did your tomatoes turn out? did you end up staking?
ETA: patience, mo'fo' patience lol geez didn't you see all the mark harmon love in here? we need some post NCIS fapping time geez
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hey foxxy. my tomatoes are doing fine, some are ripening quickly, the ones that don't get put on the window sill or be fried for breakfast with bacon eggs and grits. YUM! I did end up staking them too. What are you talking about with the winner stuff?
I demand equal fap time for Tiny Fey and Julia Louis Dreyfuss. I know what you're thinking; Amy Poehler is tomorrow night.
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You can't be pregnant. That rape was legitimate.
hi Mr_F!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by bambam on Wed, 09/26/2012 - 12:31am.
real quick, before my kitkat kills my ass for unfullfilled dinner expectations... hiya, bam!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFFgbc5Vcbw&feature=relmfu
alright, i really gotta go to the store... she's got that look in her eye that says she's ready to pounce!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
So I posted earlier to introduce myself, how I'm a long time lurker and how much you all and MK make me laugh everyday (it didn't go through). Sad to see some of the regulars taking a break.
Anyway, hello to everyone. I know I won't be able to keep up with the banter , but I hope to poke my head in here every so often.
hi bambam, i mean WINNER!
i was thinking about you today as i was cursing and pulling up my traitorous tomato plants and preparing to put in the winter veggies. how did your tomatoes turn out? did you end up staking?
ETA: patience, mo'fo' patience lol geez didn't you see all the mark harmon love in here? we need some post NCIS fapping time geez
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Where did everybody go? Is it me, do I smell? For gawd's sakes, I been fishing today and I smell like fish! You can't just wash that shit off donchaknow!!! Way to make a person feel like a lowlife! Bad enough my cat is giving me the big moon eyes and licking her paws.
Fuck it, I'm gonna watch some porn.
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You can't be pregnant. That rape was legitimate.
Submitted by salacious on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 11:56pm.
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 11:23pm.
awwww, you're so sweet! ya know, sadly there has been nothing going on in J-P land to inspire me to go over there. i need an uncooked chicken leg sticking out of a shroud or something to get my juices flowing to go to the aviary...
oh oh but when i do go back, i've finally figured out my new identity. the psych has put in her retirement papers, grabbed cases of morphine and vicodin from Dr. House's stash and left the building!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Hello chilluns. What's goin' on, where da partay at?
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You can't be pregnant. That rape was legitimate.
oh, nellie!!... for the love of crapamolie!!
i gotta step out for a minute, folks... i forgot that cats like to have food for their bowl, and for eating, and such... gotta hit the store...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OPfVENhr5A
back in a bit, hold on to that clip while i'm gone.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Oh no, ESE got into Mani6's porn stash? *insert music here* That better be some good Debbie-hedgehog stuff Mani! lmao
@Sans, lol Sean's secksless to me, like Octolette! (I know I am wrong but I don't wanna be right on this!) bwahahaa
@Wowlie, hi there! *waves hello*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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love you big man,, how've ya been?
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I am, I am, I am
I said I wanna get next to you
I said I gonna get close to you
You wouldn't want me have to hurt you too, hurt you too?
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Wed, 09/26/2012 - 12:05am.
hey, hey, hey!!... at times like this, we all have to stick with our strengths!... mine may be ripping wicked farts... i admit, i may deal with loss differently than most... HA!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztbldAn19FY
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
ESE, then stop stinking up the place !!! heehee
Mani, you did it too for awhile.....hence your new blue name. :)
xoxoxoxoox
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I am, I am, I am
I said I wanna get next to you
I said I gonna get close to you
You wouldn't want me have to hurt you too, hurt you too?
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 11:57pm.
I came in here just to ask why Evil Cupcake's name was black and as I scroll down I see that C6's name is also black. Does anyone here know what happened?
Sadly they deleted their accounts. I hope they come back again when they're ready to.
Sometimes I have the attention span of lightning bolt.
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Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 11:57pm.
they're dropping like flies, Wowl!!... it's like a fucking plague!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8ZSdicyD2Y
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
I came in here just to ask why Evil Cupcake's name was black and as I scroll down I see that C6's name is also black. Does anyone here know what happened?
_________________________
The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by Foxxy Brown on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 11:23pm.
i'm really bummed that commenters i like are checking out bec this is pretty much my last week to really hang out on a regular basis because i start my new job next week, new commute, new sleep pattern, blah blah. none of the rest of you bitches better leave this week!
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Hey Foxxy! I think I can speak on behalf of everybody when I say that we're obviously happy for you so relax! While we will miss your sass and pizazz, we'll be looking forward to read your stories during the weekend or whenever you have a chance. ;)
I'm pretty sure certain loons will miss their psychiatrist's housecalls too. LOL.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 11:33pm.
Twatty, might as well have gone pantyless to that reunion of yours. hahaha
It's not actual dislike for Penn, more like I can't imagine him going at it... without gagging. I'm sorry, lol
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hey now. Sean Penn was hot in Mystic River in that shirtless back tattoo scene!
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 11:42pm.
i only miss hellos because i borrow a lot of porn from Mani... no, really... A LOT!... heeheehee!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Nite folks! *kisses to all*
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
thanks GG, i like talking to you too.
soooooo, anyone ready to discuss NCIS? anyone else hear the line at the start of the show "people read gossip about celebrities until a tragedy happens" or something? that was a direct shout-out to us. fact.
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Diamond, so glad you're still here! YAY! Don't worry, I don't mind if you miss a hello *Ahem, don't look further below...* there's lots going on here all the time. ESE misses them ALL THE TIME, lol *just teasing*
@Foxxy, don't get bummed out! Did I hear right that you are starting a new job? Congrats!
@UBF, your FedEx guy looks cute. They're all big flirts to begin with, aren't they!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 11:15pm.
Shit, I squeeze Dlisted time in when i can. So sometimes if i post and someone replies, i might not be around to reply back to THAT. If that makes people think i m stuck up and dont wanna talk to them, sorry, the problem is i m just not on here consistently. Other days I get distracted by porn.
Still like it here....
*Spock mind meld* I do this all the time.
oh wait...hahaha...naked midgets and clowns in Circus Jerk Vol.4...uh, what were you saying?
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@DD -- i'm looking forward to the premiere of "When DD Gets Her Groove Back" just chime in when the spirit moves you. take care!!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Twatty, might as well have gone pantyless to that reunion of yours. hahaha
It's not actual dislike for Penn, more like I can't imagine him going at it... without gagging. I'm sorry, lol
Oh my, and are you, GG and Brown-eyedGirl organizing a line bang over there?! ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•ღ♩♦≈❀♠♡░░░░
Night, whores, i m out. Nobody else leaves, are we clear??? XOXO
what in THE fuck is this nonsense?!?!... more jumping ship?... this will not do!!
don't make me get out the amazing juggling holland lop bunnies to entertain you into hanging around!... no, seriously, they may be all cute, and floppy eared, but... they bite, and i think one of them sexually assaulted me the last time i opened their cage! i am willing to risk it if you folks stop deleting your dlisted accounts!... jeebus, every time i come in here lately somebody's leaving...
great, now i don't know what to do with myself...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjGHwGkFIFw
happy trails, and hope to see you back soon!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Good luck with the new job Foxxy! Hope you get adjusted soon cos I likes talking with you!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Twatty, FedEx is at least 40, so he`s fair game. Well at least for dirty dreams, since he is just as married as I am...hahah
i'm really bummed that commenters i like are checking out bec this is pretty much my last week to really hang out on a regular basis because i start my new job next week, new commute, new sleep pattern, blah blah. none of the rest of you bitches better leave this week!
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Oops, I just read back some of the comments and my words did not match my thoughts:
What I meant to say is that I'm not the best writer nor am I tremendously articulate at times. It is not about feeling left out but rather feeling out of my element.
It is a compliment to all of you who comment on MK's blog. Some of the funniest banter goes on here. Sometimes it is like watching a beautiful tennis match.
I'll definitely keep reading and perhaps join back in once I get my groove (or snark) back.
Thanks to Mani, Foxxy, GG, MJT and Twatty for your kind words.
Much respect to you all.
UBF is currently distracted by the FedEx man. If he looks like Chris O'Donnell, well, okay, I guess. He just strikes me as so baby-faced, way too cutesy to fuck. He's so young, way too young for me. This coming from the woman who'd throw Ryan Gosling down on the floor & ride him like a pogo stick!!!
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 11:10pm.
I go days were I feel like I don't have much to contribute. Or I write something, think it's either hysterical and/or brilliant, and no one think it's either and it's not acknowleddged at all. At times like that you think "why bother," but then I get a wave or hi from Within or Lucifer, et al., and I'm back in. I stick with it because I do care for my dlisted friends; you guys really do mean a lot to me.
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Same hurr. I generally just post whatsever on my mind.....stream of consciousness style. If I get a response, great, if not, that's fine too. As long as there's no personal attacks involved.
And you're right about this motley crew of celeb gossip snarkers being a bonafide community when you need it.
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WALKING DEAD Season 3 premiere: October 14, 2012
THank you Twat! And I like talking to you and the others too. Sometimes I am a whole lot more open with you guys than my real friends and family. You all may give a side-eye but to get that from someone you live with would be hard. So this is why I scuttle in here. Thank u all and for those that need/want time off, please come back when you are ready...you will be missed.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012