Open Post: Hosted By Xtina Being As Subtle As Ever
The song that goes with the cover of Xtina looking like a slutty mermaid caught in a gay fisherman's net came out today and there's a clean version (BORING!) and there's a Dlisted version which I can say with confidence speaks to all of us sluts. The skanky version proves once again that Xtina is a master of subtlety, is always horny in the pussy and every time she's picking a song she asks herself, "Will a stripper lick her nipple to this while pounding her crotch against the pole?"
The full version of "Fuck Your Body" (yes, that's what it's called and yes, I've already danced by myself to this piece of trash song in my kitchen) has been scrubbed from the Internet, so the demo version will have to do for now. Brace yourselves for what the Glittery Gays of YouTube, 13-year-old latch key kids and the parents of child beauty pageant queens will do with this song:
Why am I picture her singing this to a giant tube of red lipstick?
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Submitted by Dog on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 7:05pm.
Hi, Eeeevil. How's your package?
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He's fine. He's bringing Chinese over tonight. YUM!
We were going to go out for dinner BUT I ( this is how pathetic I am, and how tolerant he is) wanted to see the season premiere of....Shark Tank. LOL. Can't miss that!
How's the male dog and pups? What's for dinner?
Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:58pm
Originally thought that as well but then when it kept showing up, I figured it was something else.
I love learning new things:)
Happy Fishing Whamo:) You a good man.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 7:02pm Me too. Was afraid to ask:)
Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 7:04pm.
this sounds like soft-core chick-to-chick pron, right here!
*blushes*
I Twittered once. It lasted less than 24 hours. I need much more room to express myself. Don't fence me in, TWITTER!!!!
Hi, Eeeevil. How's your package?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:59pm.
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:43pm.
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Oh-oh, this sounds like soft-core chick-to-chick pron, right here! LOLOLOLOL
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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@ Withy♥
I don't miss a thing ;-)
HI DOGGIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HI WITHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whamo, *claps to you* FIGHTING MISANDRY WHEREVER IT MAY BE. hahaha You need a superhero outfit with a big M. lmao
And I thought pron was to avoid censors or moderators online. lollloolll
Evil_Cupcake, *waves hi* ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Ok I confess....I like the song...
**scrubs self in holy water**
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You dumb bitch, I am home.-MK
I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with the donkey.
I think Julia Roberts and Anne Hathaway look the most like themselves. (How good that is, is up for debate.) I don't think Debra Messing is totally sans fards in that pic. That is just a bad pic. LOL, though.
@ Kizzy
Good luck and don't sprinkle too much! Oysters and shellfish are also rich in zinc. You can tempt him with those.
I don't tweet, either.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by mike on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:57pm.
Scary, isn't it????
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:43pm.
I want to pron with you right now.
Let us pron together, forever, behind transparent silk embroidered curtains which shudder in the breeze to reflect our caresses and murmurs.
PORN PORN PORN PORN PORN PORN PORN PORN PORN PORN PORN PORN
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:40pm.
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:33pm.
why do y'all spell it pron?
They're referring to the kind of porn where the person gets sucked into the computer to join in like in TRON. So porn + tron = pron. For real.
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What??? Lol I have never heard that in my life, if I've ever wrote pron it's been strictly a typo! Lol
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:52pm.
You're welcome!
http://theberry.com/2012/08/24/when-their-makeup-artists-are-off-duty-21...
Cameron Diaz!!!!!!
@ EC
No amount of make-up can help Cameron. She is unfortunate in the face. Kate Moss looked like a meth head in that photo.
LOL@ Debra Messing!
OLOL Lucy♥, knew you'd see that! hahaha OH YASS!
@Twatty! HI THERE!!!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by DiamondDogs on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:52pm.
Yesm they were the best. Did you see the horror show of Cameron Diaz, and that sore on the upper lip of Kate Moss was gross.
@ M.E.
I was teasing you.
@ EC
JLO and Beyonce look the best without make-up. Too bad they are stuck up bitches.
@ Ms Fury...hey congrats on your published story good for you! :)
DD - I don't twitter.
How bout a big loving spoonful of "No Thanx"...
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
It's so cold in the D....
You're welcome!
http://theberry.com/2012/08/24/when-their-makeup-artists-are-off-duty-21...
Gotta jet, thank you all so much for listening, understanding, and advice. Happy weekend to all!!!
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:47pm.
*texts BH naughty pictures*
I know what I'm doing tonight!
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Just be sure not to "accidentally" upload it on your Twitter or FB account. ;-)
*texts BH naughty pictures*
I know what I'm doing tonight!
I have a sort-of-getting-to-be-close friend who absolutely HATES porn. She doesn't know me that well. (Obviously) I am not even out to her yet.
She is always complaining to me about how much porn her husband watches. And asking me questions like, "Do any women like porn?" I just keep dodging the question. WTF? How am I supposed to tell her I watch it? It is really weird for me.
How can people be so close-minded? She is otherwise very liberal, but SO UPTIGHT when it comes to sex. She complains about how he wants her to shave her pubes. (I am privately thinking, OMG I feel so sorry for your husband even if he is an asshole, I could never fuck you because you are probably so boring in bed.)
I wonder if she's ever had an orgasm. It makes me want to buy her a sex toy for her birthday just to see wtf she would do. I wonder if she would freak the fuck out.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:45pm.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:37pm.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:30pm.
Aww Kizzy, that's a hard situation...
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haaaaaaaaaaaaa. You're cruel, very cruel.
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Still gave me a chuckle, so I thank you both =)
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
ITS 111 DEGREES OUTSIDE!!!
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:43pm.
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Absolutely, you should never go for that line Diamond! It's well tried and too many fall for it. Good for you! ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by RandéSleepover on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:37pm.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:30pm.
Aww Kizzy, that's a hard situation...
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haaaaaaaaaaaaa. You're cruel, very cruel. :)
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RandéS, you do love pull out double-entendres on me, lolol you! hahahaha actually you're too quick! Kizzy knows what I meant, but you're not helping, RandéS!!! ☺☺☺
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:41pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:36pm.
:-(
What about supplements? I think zinc is supposed to be effective
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I'll sneak that shit in his food, or give it to him wrapped in cheese if it works!! LOL
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:40pm.
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:33pm.
why do y'all spell it pron?
They're referring to the kind of porn where the person gets sucked into the computer to join in like in TRON. So porn + tron = pron. For real.
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I want to pron with you right now.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:40pm.
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:27pm.
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Good catch Diamond, hell yes always double check those offers lol. "Acting" a-huh. ;p
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I can't act an "O" face. lolololo leave that to Octomom
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:37pm.
No, he's not on any medications at all.
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Kizzy on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:36pm.
:-(
What about supplements? I think zinc is supposed to be effective.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:30pm. @Mike
That's the most frustrating thing. He won't even consider medication, won't go to the dr. with me, won't go to my dr., and won't even allow the phrase, 'talk to a therapist' to be uttered.
I know he feels bad, and I know part of it is him feeling sorry for himself. Men should come with instruction manuals, and translator apps.
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:27pm.
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Good catch Diamond, hell yes always double check those offers lol. "Acting" a-huh. ;p
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by DiamondDogs on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:33pm.
why do y'all spell it pron?
They're referring to the kind of porn where the person gets sucked into the computer to join in like in TRON. So porn + tron = pron. For real.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:31pm.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:22pm.
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I've never met a guy who does it right :( Wonders if I should blame pron for this?
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Yes. You have to train men to do it right. I think my husband`s skills in this department are the only reason why we are still married.
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Hahahhaa. I think men should ask their girl friends for advice. That is absolutely how I got really good a blow jobs. But men will not do that because of their huge egos. They could also ask their lesbian friends. Anybody who is going to give honest advice.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:30pm.
Aww Kizzy, that's a hard situation...
haaaaaaaaaaaaa. You're cruel, very cruel. :)
Kizzy, is your husband on other meds like Bloodpressure stuff? That stuff is known to mess with the weeny!
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:33pm.
Erectile Dysfunction.
ubmitted by Lucifer_Sam on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 6:32pm.
Kizzy ♥
I don't really know what ED is and I feel inappropriate asking.
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LOL Lucky you, don't have to deal with the Viagra/Cialis commercials. Erectile Dysfunction. I rather think of it as, "ya shouldn't have wasted all your good fuckin' being a skanky manho when you were younger."
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"I am not doing your fucking maneuvers."-Croc
"Once you go cat, you'll never go back"- Mrs.K "We wanted diamonds, sherbet, or a squirrel with a gun."-Izzard ♥♥ If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will? ♥♥
Talking about ED, the husband and I went to Ross years ago and this old dude in a scooter got to talking to my husband and kept telling him to fuck as much as he could, cause when he `d get as old as he was, shit aint working no more. The husband threw a scared look at him, mumbled something about : he`s trying to put a root on me " and ran away. Haha, like he was the ED Gypsy like in Stephen King`s "Thinner"