Hot Slut Of The Day!
This priceless picture from TMZ shows three different shades of dontgiveafuck. King Carl XVI Gustaf and Queen Silva of Sweden were hollerin' out cheers of YAAASSSS! during their country's Olympic handball match against Denmark on Wednesday night when ole' girl down there let them know she wasn't having any of their loud team spirit in her ears.
Queen Silva don't give a shit and is letting a grumpy trick know she don't give a shit. King Carl don't give a shit and is yelling into a hand tunnel that send his screams shooting straight past ole' girl's fun-hating ear. And homegirl REALLY don't give a shit that the King and Queen of Sweden can sentence her to a torturous punishment (example: putting together an Ikea bookshelf without instructions or an allen key) for treason.
They're all Hot Sluts, but the pile of grouch who is not here for the King and Queen's cheers gets the HSOTD stamp of approval. Because her ear-covering hate reminds me of when my abuelita went to my mom's best friend's house. My mom's best friend's house smelled like pure dog piss. It was like being trapped in a dog's bladder. My mom and all of us did the polite thing by breathing out of our mouths (even though I could pretty much taste it), but my abuelita was too old for that polite shit. She walked in, made an "I'm grossed out" face and then plugged her nose with her fingers. She sat next to my mom on the couch with her fingers pinching her smelling holes and she did that the entire time. She finally couldn't take that canine golden shower shit and told us she was going to wait outside.
And that's when I knew that the age to be is the age when you throw out the need to be polite with the need to give a shit about anything.
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Such awesome music stories and anecdotes in this thread! ☺
OnT: that royal couple must be hilarious at any public events! haha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Possum -- I was at Barnes & Noble recently and a woman was there with her kid. I hate to say it, but I think the kid was special needs (yes, god is going to get me for this). AnyHOO, the kid let out the most blood-curdling scream I ever heard in my life (this kid was only 3 feet away from me in the checkout line) -- I swear to god, I think I have some permanent hearing loss in my left ear. And then the mother actually told him he was being a good boy and I was like what? I could not get out of the store soon enough. If I were you, I'd send the bitch who hums at work an anonymous note via interoffice mail. Yeah, I'm a bitch that way. That shit is not cool. I understand where you're coming from because I'm the exact same way, except I'm way more evil, LOL!
Oh, ho ho ho Lawd. Sensitive ears here too. Any abrupt, loud, or shrieky noises pain me. Like it hurts my whole body. It's awful.
I also want to beat whistlers to death. And people who clap once or twice for no goddamn reason during games on TV (husband did this while watching game on TV and I jumped). It's why I can't go to any sports bars for all the hooting and hollering.
And holy shit, hummers. There is a woman a few cubicles from me who hums all day long. And no matter where I go, there's gonna be an old lady humming and and old man whistling someplace. It makes me want to die. Why can't people just quietly go about their business?
Twatty, well well well. How are you doing? Ready for the weekend yet? I know, I love me some bossa nova myself, it is a sweet sweet sound! ((hugs)) How you doing? ;P
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Within -- hey, baby! I'm listening to my bossa nova music here, getting ready for the weekend! Cha cha cha!!!
Twatty, I second and third that thought! hi hi hi! ☺☺
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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sinjin, Sweetas & bambam -- OMG, I hear ya. I was totally born in the wrong decade. I should have been an adult in the 50's/60's, listening to Frank & Dino. Another big love of mine is bossa nova music. Bambam mentioned playing "Sway" in the car. You guys should check out the Rosemary Clooney/Perez Prado version of "Sway" -- the beat on that one is fabulous. I truly was born too late.
Thank you, Jesus, for that beautiful post. You kill me in the face, Michael. I laugh.
Submitted by Karl_J on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 3:55pm.
Besides Prince Hot Ginge, you are not really into European royalty. Het name is Sylvia.
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SILVIA, not Sylvia. Close though.
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2 for the price of 3!
Well, your version of events is more fun than what really happened.
Besides Prince Hot Ginge, you are not really into European royalty. Het name is Sylvia.
Submitted by bambam on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 1:07pm.
If you are looking for modern bluegrass, you must check out Trampled By Turtles. They are awesome.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leugmC0WOZE
sinjin WERD!! His presence, his confidence, and then... THAT VOICE. Panties, get back here! Oh well, I don't blame you.
Submitted by Sweetas :
@ Twat and Cuppy - Dino was the SHIT!! Sooooo smooth. Panties fell to the floor when he walked in the room. My panties dropped just now just thinking about him.
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DITTO! I have all of Dean's cds, and will watch any Martin & Lewis movie when I can catch one, with plans to buy them. My favorites are the My Friend Irma movies. :) I was born in the wrong damn decade.
*visits Youtube on lunch*
@Michael K, your Abuelita sounds like the shit! Reminds me of my own dear Nonna. We were at the Sea World dophin show once and had to sit behind a lady showing major butt crack. Not only did my Nonna make ME sit behind her so that MY knees were pressed into her back fat but she kept saying shit in a loud voice like, "She should go to jail for showing her ass! It ought to be illegal to wear red polyester shorts like that! Did she wake up this morning and take a hammer to those thighs of hers?"
Regarding getting older and having a license to say whatever you want, it's so true! I turned 50 last year and the Turrets Fairy must have taken away my filter. Whereas I used to be a woman of GREAT restraint, I now can't believe what comes out of my mouth!! I'm kinda likin it too. :-)
That is one hilarious photo!!! Queen Silva must be thinking, "Bitch please! Can you get any more dramatic? You ought to feel blessed to have your eardrums shattered by the King!"
My beef is with all these losers who have to play music from their phones SO WE CAN ALL HEAR IT. They walk around like their phones are some awesome ghetto blaster. That's when I pray for a scrambler. Fuck those people.
bambam -- it's funny that we're talking about sharing music. A friend of mine used an app to send me a snippet of a song, but she thought she was sending me the whole song. I have an app that sends the entire song but it turns out they've done away with that app; the greedy bastards that be have decided they don't want people to have access to entire songs anymore. I hate shit like that!!! Luckily I can still send my friends whole songs, though.
I don't discredit other's opinion of Sinatra, I just don't see it myself. I give him credit for understanding his strengths, knowing how to best present his style.
And I give him credit for helping other musicians out in that era. Plus he was Elvis before there was an Elvis, he was the first teen heart throb.
I just think guys like Dino, Sammy, Tony, Nat were more gifted vocally than him, at least to my ear.
It would be great if I had the gear to send you gals some music I liked. You'd be like "Who the fuck is this guy?" :D
ETA: Yeah, when the MTV crowd "discovered" Tony, he was nothing like he used to be. When a singer gets old and loses some ability, they compensate, take shortcuts to convey the music.
It's a shame because that's when their interpretive skills are at their highest, it's because they can't hit those notes anymore.
It's ironic cuz that's when they're masters at their game, you can sit 'em on a stool by a piano player and they'll show you what a true entertainer is.
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Gals are "just friends." Guys are "just waitin."
bambam -- funny story about Tony Bennett. I really don't know if Bennett had herpes, but my late mom read somewhere, most likely in the Star or the Enquirer, that he had herpes, and every time after that, whenever she saw Tony Bennett she'd readily dismiss him and say, "oh, there's herpes." Tony Bennett had a great voice back in the day, but he should have hung his hat up a long time ago. What he does now cannot even be considered singing. I think I preferred Frank because he was a much sexier guy than Tony; Tony was never much to look at, but yeah, he did have a sparkle in his eyes, I do hear ya on that.
@ Twatty,
I remember this vividly, being in my tween/teenage years, I'd flip thru the channels late nite to see what to watch. Johnny Carson was old school to me, boring.
But if Ed announced that Tony Bennett was there I'd check back to make sure I'd catch his performance.
To see him was inspiring to me, I could see the joy on his face from singing, his eyes sparkled.
It was only years later I figured that sparkle might've come from Tony taking a few tokes before performing. Didn't matter, I loved that guy. LOLs
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Gals are "just friends." Guys are "just waitin."
I see that I'm not alone with my sensitive hearing. Some of my peeves are when people have their stereos turned up in their cars and all you hear is the "boom boom" of the bass. Drives me nuts.
Can't stand when people who chew loudly or smack their gum.
Earplugs are very handy in situations like a concert or sporting event.
MK,this post was just pure gold! I would've loved to have met your abuelita.
Sweetas & bambam -- I wish we had a thing where we could send each other music -- wouldn't that be cool? I think the other thing about Frank is that he had such a much larger library of music than the other guys did.
@ bambam and Twat, I think Sinatra had an amazing voice, but the rumors of him being explosive and abusive turn me off. Still, the Rat Pack ruled...except that they marginalized SDJr who was great in his own right.
bambam & Sweetas -- Frank, Sammy & Dean all had great voices, as did Bobby Darin, Steve Lawrence, Vic Damone and a handful of others. I still get goosebumps hearing some of their recordings that I've heard many times before. I'm partial to Frank because I've seen him in concert three times; he was simply amazing.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 1:02pm.
bambam -- I like your taste in music. I am the biggest fan ever of Sinatra, and a huge Dean Martin fan, too. I was blasting "Sway" the other day in the car. "Sex Machine," "Hot Pants" and "Get On Up" rock, too.
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Oh don't get me started on Sinatra. I used to have a really good singing voice so I have a really good ear for voices. For the life of me I couldn't see what was so great about Sinatra. To make it worse, I used to work at a college bar where a lot of the students were from New York/New Jersey, y'know? Sinatra central.
I used to give 'em shit because of their various prejudices, I'd tell 'em Sinatra wasn't that great. Dino had a better voice, hell, Sammy Davis JUNIOR! had a better voice. They hated me, they'd get drunk and wanna beat my ass.
It was only later I began to appreciate Sinatra, I still think Dino and Sammy sang better though.
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Gals are "just friends." Guys are "just waitin."
bambam - My car won't read my Agent Orange CD. Stupid technology.
Some Fugazi "Promises" usually shuts up the youngins and their non music crap. :D
@ Twat and Cuppy - Dino was the SHIT!! Sooooo smooth. Panties fell to the floor when he walked in the room. My panties dropped just now just thinking about him.
@ ME,
Them's mah homeboys right thar! Youngins ain't into them or Bad Brains, they think it's some new group that sounds like a group from their generation, dumbasses.
I'd like to find some good classical or good bluegrass for my collection, maybe Alison Krauss and Union Station (?) or some such. I do love a good voice/harmony.
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Gals are "just friends." Guys are "just waitin."
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 1:02pm.
I LOVE Dean Martin.
My mom always asks me when I sing Martin tunes "How old are you again?" LOL!
M.E. I don't blame you! It's better to AVOID but damn it sounds like fun to fuck with him. *sets up siren and police radio recording at the fence line to play at random times throughout the day*
Submitted by louise_brooks on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 10:04am.
LOL, MK! I said to my husband, "I can't wait until I'm one of those old ladies who flirts with everyone and says really inappropriate things to men and everyone just laughs." He said, "Um...you pretty much do that now."
LOL, I'm rght there with you louise. Though I don't say really inappropriate things to just men.
I spread that word vomit around equally:)
It's probably one, if not the only thing good about getting older---that "I don't give a shit" comes out regularly:) The filter has holes.
bambam -- I like your taste in music. I am the biggest fan ever of Sinatra, and a huge Dean Martin fan, too. I was blasting "Sway" the other day in the car. "Sex Machine," "Hot Pants" and "Get On Up" rock, too.
Sweetass - I will not talk to him face to face. He's a sketchty MF. And he scares me. But when he's all geeked out I'll fuck with him.
I know what kind of shit fucks with a tweeker, so I get him going.
That`s why I like Soccer. Screaming and hollering is encouraged and you damn well know what you are getting into if you are going to a game....
bambam - It's been hot here all week and my AC in my car broked.
Sitting at the light yesterday and this little asshole was blasting some shit he considered music. I pushed the "cassette" button on my radio and turned my volume dial all the way up (my car has a premium "sound system"). FUGAZI ALL OVER THE DICKWAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He rolled his windows up on his little 1995 Honda Civic.
FOK U!
Submitted by SoulTaker on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 12:51pm.
Awww, thanks. I hope your day improves as well.
*gives lavender bouquet and cupcake to SoulTaker*
*finger snap claps at this entire thread*
LMAO M.E.!! Tell him you thought you saw people dressed in black in the trees across the street earlier.
Hahahahaa!!! MOM???
Thanks, Evil_Cupcake
And I'm sorry YOU'RE having a crap day. I hope it gets better for you.
Dlisted is an oasis for the sad/down/upset/depressed/worried times, and I'm not even kidding. It helps to laugh. I love this place and you guys.
Take care, delicious cupcake, and have a better day. xoxo
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Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 12:44pm.
Sorry you are having a crap day too. So am I, and like you, dlisted is at least making it bearable.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 12:34pm.
No shit. A few summers back I kept a Dean Martin greatest hits CD in my car. When I stopped at a light and heard some jerk blasting rap music I'd pop that bitch in, hit "Sway" and turn it up.
Not only was my system louder, I wasn't playing black music, it pissed them off. I felt "now you know how I feel." And surprisingly enough, most people smiled at me when they heard it.
I also kept James Brown and Ray Charles in my car too. Ohh, a hot summer day, no breeze at all, feeling hot sweaty and sluggish? Put on "Sex Machine" and see what happens. Man.
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Gals are "just friends." Guys are "just waitin."
I had to stop going to concerts, baseball games, etc. years ago because I couldn't stand the noise from people around me doing the "tunnel scream" in my ear. It drove me nuts. Rather than curse the world or block my ears, I just stopped going. These days I can only stand to go to a tennis match where people are polite and only clap when necessary.
Submitted by SoulTaker on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 12:39pm.
Sorry you are having a crap day too. So am I, and like you, dlisted is at least making it bearable.
ME, you're MY kind of bitch...
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
GG- I wish boom boxes would be outlawed.
I DO NOT WANT MY BRAIN BEING BOUNCED AROUND MY HEAD DUE TO YOUR STUPID FUCKING BASE BOX!!!!!
GG - I fuck with him every night. If I'm not yelling at him to STFU I am saying in my regular voice " There are eyes and ears everywhere. I wonder what the wire is next door? That car has been parked across the street for a long time now."
Yeah, I'm THAT bitch.
I think I told you all last week how I found him crawling around underneath the (his) house last week at 9 fucking PM.
TWEEKER!
This post and accompanying comments win the gold medal in AWESOMENESS.
My day has been total shit so far but you guys made me laugh..thanks MK and all you whores!
Jack - it is not awesome.
If it's not the bongo's it's an electric guitar, if it's not the guitar it's him fucking a hooker being louder than a prono on max volume, if it's not that it's him in a fit of rage throwing shit through windows, if it's not that it's him trying to build shit at 1 o'clock in the morning.
I HATE that fucker. HATE.
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 08/10/2012 - 12:30pm.
I HATE WHISTLERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate it so much that when someone near me is whistling I give them the "I want to kill you" stare and usually say "Really? Asshole?"
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and I ❤ Sheldon Cooper for just this reason!
FIRST WARNING!!