Open Post: Hosted By Jesse Metcalfe's Spectacular Rack
Every part of me is so happy that Jesse Metcalfe didn't copy his fiancee Cara Santana (the star of the upcoming masterpiece Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3: Viva La Fiesta!) by covering up his divine tit turnovers with a bikini top, because then we'd never get all of this sexiness. There must be some serious pheromones in the nectar that drips out of Jesse's chichi knobs, because Cara is crawling on that shit and begging him to let her motorboat him right on that yacht in Cabo San Lucas. If Cara is on Jesse like that on a yacht, imagine what she does behind closed doors. She probably rips off Jesse's Cross Your Heart bra and screams at him to give her the fever by making them titties bounce. Foreplay to Cara is watching Jesse run topless on the treadmill. And yes, I'm mad that Cara gets to witness that and I don't.
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are his boobs fake? are men doing this too?
Submitted by jd.xy on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 8:14am.
would it be too much to ask if people limited their posts to the topic of the article? It's getting a bit ridiculous when you scan through the posts and only a small percentage are about the article!
http://www.dlisted.com/taxonomy/term/385
Thank me another time.
Submitted by jd.xy on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 8:14am.
On another note..... would it be too much to ask if people limited their posts to the topic of the article? It's getting a bit ridiculous when you scan through the posts and only a small percentage are about the article!
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*Not sure if trolling, or actually doesn't know what Open Post is...*
Gay gay gay.
On another note..... would it be too much to ask if people limited their posts to the topic of the article? It's getting a bit ridiculous when you scan through the posts and only a small percentage are about the article!
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However they look; they think they look better than they really do. Right now they ought to be looking at their pictures thinking "I really made an ass of myself." The next ten sex partners will get a real kick out of the one where she looks like she's going down on him in public. Maybe Mom and Dad will want to put that one in the family album. This is why people hate celebrities.
Her bathing suit bottoms look like old ripped panties. What is with that awful style. "Oh, that's a pretty color for a top. Let me put some old ripped up hanes-her-way drawers with it."
Submitted by WithinReason... on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 1:38am.
RandéS, I wish you many Piña coladas and Sex on the Beaches! Yikes, that's too hot! Lol
I suspect these titmice aren't that well off, because summer in Cabo is when everything is heavily discounted cuz no one wants to visit. My rule is after Thanksgiving till spring break starts. What's the point of heading south when it's already blazing hot up north?
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 1:34am.
Submitted by beakers bitch on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 1:31am.
You'd be forced to resort to margies at the swim-up bar. Torture, I know.
Okay, *that* doesn't sound bad. We get extremely cold winters and it's dry in the summer, so I can't deal with flying to Toronto or Rhode Island in the summer and getting off the plane and walking into a wall of humidity. You can't get away. Drinks and water would be alright. I remember being in Jamaica in January while they were having a "cold snap" (weather was cloudy and around 28C) and I got one of my tshirts wet. I left it out on the patio chair on the balcony. Two days later even after being in the sun, that fucker was still wet! Weirdness.
RandéS, I wish you many Piña coladas and Sex on the Beaches! Yikes, that's too hot! Lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Tits on tap anyone? How about a loaf of tits?
Submitted by beakers bitch on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 1:31am.
You'd be forced to resort to margies at the swim-up bar. Torture, I know.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 1:28am.
It's now 85F in Cabo and "muy despejado." The RealFeel tomorrow is 112F. :(
Holy friggin' crap!! I would melt. I can't deal with extreme heat.
It's now 85F in Cabo and "muy despejado." The RealFeel tomorrow is 112F. :(
Lolololol Randé....
Oh who am I kidding. I would do the same thing. :(
www.poopreport.com :)
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Submitted by Mel-Tang on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 1:19am.
Good! Then I say they get the raise.
Loopy, if you get to keep JakeyPoo on the list, then we at least consider Jesse too, ok?! Hahaha yeah he may be getting mono-moob but they are hypnotizing... I want to squeeze them lolol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Yeah right Randé....I'm sure they would have paid back every penny (I REALLY need a sarcastic emoticon right now!!). Lol
www.poopreport.com :)
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Submitted by Mel-Tang on Wed, 07/25/2012 - 12:52am.
I just read an article about how the 'Modern Family' cast is going on strike because they want to re-negotiate their contracts (apparently $150,000/episode isn't enough for them). They do 24 episodes a year.
It goes without saying that the cast would have returned part of their salaries if the show had underperformed, right?
Lmao Loopy!!!
He's another Joe Gorga/Guidice in the making. Blah.
www.poopreport.com :)
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They's some wonky moobs.
I think the reason you can't see any abdominal muscles or any muscle definition is because of body fat. Don't think he's fat at all, but that's usually why. The man boobs and bloated look can also be due to steroid use.
on that note, im going to get my hair cut.
he doesn't have good stomach muscles at all, typical gym bunny, only works on arms and pecs.
if he doesnt watch out, he will be like those guys at my gym who have huge arms and pecs and a bloated stomach cuz they got no abs. and they just look like gorillas.
his pecs are quite weird, does he have a deformity? cuz they are joined together and there is no cleavage. its like a mono-boob.
Ok I'm officially depressed.
I just read an article about how the 'Modern Family' cast is going on strike because they want to re-negotiate their contracts (apparently $150,000/episode isn't enough for them). They do 24 episodes a year.
Greedy motherfuckers. Ugh.
www.poopreport.com :)
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Whamo, it's more like abominable writing that sells well LOL And from the various examples posted on here, I'd have to agree. It has it's fans so go figure... but the parodies ARE hilarious!
OnT: those moobs look like comfy little pillows. I need a nap now. ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 11:52pm
I know, right? I'm sure he gets a lot of hotties using that line lol
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 10:14pm.
It looks like he's in between or on a down a cycle of roids?
LOL'd
I wonder if he eats a lot of beef...it has too many hormones. Some dudes with boobs can reduce them from cutting beef from their diet. I give my kid minimal beef and we started drinking organic milk because of all the hormones. He wasnt getting bewbs...I just decided to avoid the hormones.
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 11:47pm.
I did have some boy in his early to mid 20's come up to me and say "Hi, I'm Mr. Grey"
Eeeeeeeeeew!
*vomits*
I never heard of 50 Shades of Grey until this site, either.
I did have some boy in his early to mid 20's come up to me and say "Hi, I'm Mr. Grey" I had no idea wtf he was talking about, so he had to explain it. Pick up line fail.
Reason, I'll have to read these over, so they're fans with questionable writing skills trying to be erotic for real or is it someone just goofing on the whole thing?
Fucking asshole woke me up at 5am. From inside his room, closed window, a driveway away, through my closed bedroom window and MY FUCKING EAR PLUGS, dude was able to wake me up with his loud as fuck tweeker voice. I went to the side door opened it up and yelled "SHUT THE FUCK UP ASSHOLE!"
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LMAO ... I would do the same thing in a heartbeat!
Whamo, check it out if you want to die laughing! I mean the parodies, not the book. All you need to know, is it was written by a Twilight fan, that is all.
@Mike, that's cool. If the drive is pleasant it can be quite relaxing. Just don't get a van, or the "image" will be shattered! lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 10:14pm
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I see, thanks EC I guess I'Ll look it up to see what all the hoopla is about.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 9:47pm.
Hey Mike (soon to be uncle) hehehe just kidding *I cringe too!*
Did you ever decide whether you'd prefer a long or short commute from work? FTR, I say make it as short as humanly possible. ;)
The whole commute thing is just an idea I toy with now and again. The soonest I could do it would be 18 mos. to a year, so I have time to think.
Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 10:09pm.
In a nut shell Whamo, that 50 shit started out as fanfic that was about those dumb Twilight vampires. Except the dude is super rich, not a vampire and into S&M. IMO, and no offense to those that like it, it is a pile of shit, poorly written and totally laughable. The woman who wrote the series (I think there are 3 or 4 books) is raking in millions off her really bad writing, that a teenager could have written better.
Anyway, there are a few web sits that have excerpts, like 50 Shades of Suck and 50 Shades of Awful, that you can ck out for a good laugh.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 8:51pm.
Sorry but what the fuck IS with his boobs
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It looks like he's in between or on a down a cycle of roids?
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 9:51pm.
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I'm too lazy to look it up but in the last week I keep hearing about this 50 shades of gray what it, I'm assuming it's a book? Why is everyone talking about it?
Submitted by beakers bitch on Tue, 07/24/2012 - 8:48pm.
Some fapping material for all y'all. Gilbert Gottfried reads 50 Shades of Grey...
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LOL!
I am so sick of hearing women swoon over that poorly written pile of trash!
Hey Mike (soon to be uncle) hehehe just kidding *I cringe too!*
Did you ever decide whether you'd prefer a long or short commute from work? FTR, I say make it as short as humanly possible. ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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UBF, hang in there woman! You know how bad that shit is for you. Don't CAVE!!!
You know, THEY SAY that nicotine is more addictive than heroin. It's very hard to do, I KNOW. I LOVED smoking and if I were diagnosed with a terminal illness, I'd take it up in a heartbeat.
Mr. Hekki is one of the only people I know who still smokes. There is incredible peer pressure in NYC to quit smoking. Can't smoke ANYWHERE. You get side-eyes and grumbling if you walk down the street with a lit cig. My die-hard Marlboro-red-smoking MIL quit because she felt like a pariah at work.
Hiya sal, Within, others.
(Sal) (sal) (sal), whatchu saying about Posh's muff??? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!! hahaha
I wonder if Jesse would get butt implants? lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Jesse's implants are more obvious than Posh Beckam's. Nuff said.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
I think Jesse has always had nipples like that. I'd close my eyes and pet him allovah because he is F-I-N-E. Yup, I'd do the same as that chick! lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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