Friday, July 20th 2012
Open Post: Hosted By Richard Simmons
Some days you just really need to feel your nipples give birth to drops of extra sweetened hummingbird juice while staring at pictures of the graceful dandelion Richard Simmons looking like somebody's fucked up auntie on Halloween, and this is one of those days. I'd never think to put together New Balance sneakers, spider web tights from Capezio, a DIY black swan costume, two handfuls of googly eyes and a bunch of fake pearl bracelets from some little girl's jooree box, but Richard pulls it off.
And you know how in movies and shit, bitches are always saying things like, "I'm just waiting for the butterfly in me to awaken and take flight"? This is what they're talking about.
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Submitted by salacious on Fri, 07/20/2012 - 6:25pm.
What in 404 hell???
Anyways I just said that I don't think he's gay, and only a extremely fabulous creature.
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Hrm...I thought he came out as gay years and years ago...maybe I'm thinking of someone else?
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"A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
- Macbeth, William Shakespeare
Oh. Just realised my post is tasteless in light of things that went down today. Sorry, didn't mean to be insensitive. It was a rhetorical question btw. Have a nice weekend.
What in 404 hell???
Anyways I just said that I don't think he's gay, and only a extremely fabulous creature.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
Submitted by Jeanneee on Fri, 07/20/2012 - 5:39pm.
Jeanneee, I'm glad your're ok. My appendix was gangrene when they took it out. Needless to say I was down for a while. I'm with M.E. sleep when baby sleeps ....the best advice my MIL ever gave me. Take care.
Omg...anyone who is going to swim in a lake, river, or improperly treated pool..please be careful. I've been reading so many horror stories about the bacteria levels being so high because if the intense heat. People are getting flesh eating diseases and meningitis and dying from it. :(
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Gad you're all right, Jeanneee.
Has anyone ever had the misfortune of editing a full-length manuscript? How long did you last before you bought a gun and shot yourself in the face?
Don't forget about Max and Ruby. The parent-less bunnies. She is super bossy and he only says one word an episode. Oh and Rugrats. That show really bothered me. The parents never supervised the babies! What kind of parents let their babies run all over town?
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What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09
Submitted by Happy Hour on Fri, 07/20/2012 - 5:59pm.
Regarding Caillou omg whiny little brat! Don't get me started on the theme song
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Oh God Caillou is the worst, but I always felt bad because I assumed he was bald because he had cancer (this is not the case, I had to Google).
The very very worst are those whores on Yo Gabba Gabba. They make me stabby.
LOLing remembering how excited kokoskitten and sucky were when they found out there was a "Cruise to Lose" 4 day cruise with Richard Simmons. "We have to do this!" Then sucky heard back from the website that there wasn't one this year. So we had to settle on Vegas instead. Too bad, he would have been fun.
Hey Jack. I read you're going to be in Montgomery. Have a good time out there. It's unbearably hot but the lake is fun. You'll be about 30 miles down the road from me. :-)
Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 07/20/2012 - 5:16pm.
I've told this story on here before--- I met him at an in-store appearance years ago in Miami. He was so nice and just so HAPPY!! And although you'd never say it by this pic, he had surprisingly large calves. Funny the things you remember.
I've told this story, but years ago (it was during the time that I was following Phish around, so I'm guessing '96 or '97) I was in New Orleans for Mardi Gras with some friends and we came upon Richard on the street. He was awesome! So friendly and (seemingly) genuine. I think he'a a good person. And yeah, he was wearing the short short shorts.
I think summer sleepaway camp was the first time I heard the term "fingerbang" -- and it was a Christian camp. Quite a lot of inappropriate behavior but it was the children getting up to no good, not the counselors. But I have many great memories!!
Regarding Caillou omg whiny little brat! Don't get me started on the theme song
Any day now, "Richard Simmons: 'Yep, I'm Gay'" will grace the cover of No Shit Sherlock magazine.
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"When in doubt, freak 'em out" -- Sharon Needles
Jeanneee...I hope you feel better soon! I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Congratulations on your baby! :)
www.poopreport.com :)
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Jeanneee- HOLY SHIT WOMAN!
And congrats on the baby. I must have missed when you pooped it out.
Sleep when the baby sleeps!
How could anyone not love the glittery lightning bug that is Richard Simmons? I hope he is the activities director of Heaven's cruise ship.
Lol Hekki!!
It took me a while to let my daughter sleep over her friends' houses too. The weird thing is she did it a few times, but doesn't love going over other peoples houses to sleep. She always asks for her friends to come here. And I'm ok with that! Haha
My son LOVES to sleep over all of his cousins houses because they play video games. There is one set of cousins that I don't particularly feel comfortable with him sleeping there, not because of the kids, but because their Mom's live in boyfriend kind of creeps me out. I've talked
to my son about making sure people don't do or say inappropriate things to him, and he seems to understand, but I still get nervous everytime he goes there. :(
www.poopreport.com :)
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I wonder if Michael Hebranko has eaten himself to death yet. Richard tried his best to help him.
With all of the negativity in the news from just today, who can hate on this little Elfin Magic Man?!? He seems so genuinely sweet and harmless...a breath of fresh air by his goofy nature. GOD BLESS ELF RICHARD!
Thanks Hekki and Lisbet!
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
Submitted by Jeanneee on Fri, 07/20/2012 - 5:39pm.
I have had a hell of a week you guys. I went to the ER on Saturday night with pain in my side and ended up having to have an emergency appendectomy. My poor husband had to stay alone all night with our 20 day old baby. All 3 of us made it through like champs though. Whew.
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OMG, that sounds awful - for both of you! I'm so glad you're okay, though.
Thank you so much for the great responses guys! They really help. I don't want to limit my kids in their experiences either; just a paranoid Mom here. :(
FunFilled....I LOVE your avatar!!! Hahaha My kids used to watch Caillou ALL the time and he drove me crazy. Hahaha
www.poopreport.com :)
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Submitted by bridgjones on Fri, 07/20/2012 - 5:39pm.
If a fellow Dlister needs help, we're there. Especially if it is to fight Tubby Custard.
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I had to go back a bit to recall that one!
mmm. custard.
Teletubbies weren't my favorite, but man, i miss sesame street.
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
My opinion on the kid thing. Don't shelter your children and teach them to be scared of the world. It's a fucked up place to be sure but we need to raise these next generations to be fearless in the face of the fuckedupness so we can all start fixing that shit.
He can do no wrong....
Jeanneee! Holy shit. Glad you're okay.
*takes a deep breath*
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Fri, 07/20/2012 - 5:26pm.
Are those supposed to be eyeballs on his glasses? *shudders*
I didn't notice that when I looked but now that you mentioned it I'm too disgusted to scroll back up to check. Ugh.
Love Richard Simmons! America's sweetheart, LOL.
The baby is napping, the housework is done, and I actually have a moment to myself - and here I am on OP! Yay!
I have had a hell of a week you guys. I went to the ER on Saturday night with pain in my side and ended up having to have an emergency appendectomy. My poor husband had to stay alone all night with our 20 day old baby. All 3 of us made it through like champs though. Whew.
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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11
M.E.: It's one of those days. If it gets too slow for you here, you should check out www.instructables.com.
We've picked up some good craft ideas and I learned how to do a fishtail braid and make a giant gummy bear.
Submitted by dlaugher on Fri, 07/20/2012 - 5:34pm.
Recipes and child-rearing tips? Good lord, Bernard Profiterole is *not* going to be amused, ladies!
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If a fellow Dlister needs help, we're there. Especially if it is to fight Tubby Custard.
Mel-Tang: If it's just a week and he comes home every night, it's probably fine.
I could be wrong, but I think there are more opportunties at a sleepaway camp. And I think that it takes a while for a pedo to observe and pick out the more susceptible kids and cultivate the relationship that leads to abuse. I think they need time to groom their victims.
Anything can happen, but I think it'd be better for him to go than not. Just my two cents...
(says the mom who's reluctant to let 8 yo daughter sleep over her BFF's house with two tweeny brothers hanging around...)
DD...I use wheat flour and wheat germ (for vitamins and nutrients) and Agave syrup (for sweetening). I don't have the exact recipe with me, but I use these things in place of white flour and sugar.
I guess you can't use the wheat stuff if you're alletgic to it, but the Agave is great for sweetening. I also put a few scoops of protein powder in the mix for an exra energy kick.
Then I add tons of carob chocolate chips!! Lol
I knew these muffins were yummy when my nephew, who ONLY wants to eat chicken nuggets and pizza, devoured these things when I made them. Actually, my kids love them too! They don't know how healthy they are. Haha
www.poopreport.com :)
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Recipes and child-rearing tips? Good lord, Bernard Profiterole is *not* going to be amused, ladies!
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
Submitted by DiamondDogs on Fri, 07/20/2012 - 5:23pm.
both of these are pretty easy!
http://she-fit.com/protein_powder_muffin_recipe/
http://www.tessadomesticdiva.com/2012/03/5-minute-muffins-high-protien.h...
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Success is a great deodorant ~ Liz
You know this because you are a pop culture hor like most every dlister. :)
Did they transplant from his nether regions?
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Certainly looks like that's the case. They have to get the hair from someplace, right?
I AM SO FUCKING BORED!
NO ONE is here today. The phone has rung twice since 8am. I did all my paperwork yesterday....
All of you are so fabulous!
Thanks for the recipe links and ideas.
Off I go for a second try.
Have a great weekend everyone.
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"I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!" George Carlin
Diamond, try the Eat Clean website. Google "Eat Clean Kitchen Table" and it has a ton of high-protein recipes that aren't bad at all. I've never had the spouse wolf down a shrimp dish and look for more, scraping the pan. This month's Oxygen magazine has an awesome pancake recipe. Basically, 1/2C egg whites, 1/2C REAL oatmeal, 1/3C cottage cheese and they say 1T peanut butter, but I put Coconut oil instead. Whiz it in the blender and then cook. Think more crepe than pancake though and you will be fine.
BTW, kitchen tip of the day: Small mouth mason jars fit Oster blenders and wide mouth jars fit Kitchenaid and Kenmore.
We are some smoothie drinking MFer's, so that tip came in handy when I learned it.
Edited to add: If you try this, don't be a dumbass and put hot liquids in the jar.
DD- Her stuff is pretty freaking good and she doesn't publish if it doesn't turn out. I've made some of her protein bars as well- the PB&J ones are awesome. I'll also put a plug in for her pizzucchini- absolutely fabulous.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
Mel - my daughter attends day camp during the summer - it's a Y camp and loves it. She was adopted three years ago (now 11) and as a new mom, I had the same concerns. She was not an English speaker and having lived in an orphanage, rather sheltered. I think sport camps are rather safe - there ahould is a pretty good adult/kid ratio (1 adult for 8 or 10 kids?).
DiamondDogs - check out this page, lots of really good recipes for different protein bars
http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/jamie-eason-livefit-recipes-main-page.ht...
Diamond; there are some muffin recipes that use cottage cheese or ricotta. Can't recommend any specific ones, but they are out there.
Mel-Tang, I would let my oldest go at 10 but he's always been a bit beyond his years. I can't imagine my middle really being ready for it at that age. We also live in a very small town.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.
Are those supposed to be eyeballs on his glasses? *shudders*
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The poster formerly known as SnowOwl, formerly known as Nightowl!
Submitted by Mel-Tang on Fri, 07/20/2012 - 5:17pm.
To all the Moms n Dads out there...question.
Has anyone ever sent their kids to an intensive, one week sports day camp?
My son is 10 and wants to try one this summer. It runs for 8 hours each day. I know he would learn tons of new skills, etc. But after the whole Sandusky crap and these random shootings, I'm having a problem letting him go for that long each day. I don't want to smother him, but to me he's still my baby and I'm worried.
Is 10 too young? What do you horz think? Thanks
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I've raised two boys and yes, I've sent my sons to those types of camps. I don't want to limit them and deprive them of great opportunities because of fear that may be unfounded. I've made sure that I speak to other parents whose kids have gone there, check the credentials of the people putting the camp on, etc,. Fortunately, I've never had a problem & my kids have loved the camps.
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@Diamond Dogs - I dunno if it is high protein or what but here is the easiest muffin/cake recipe EVAR, and it includes punkin:
1 can pumpkin (about 15 ounces)
1 box spice cake mix
Mix, pour into greased muffin pan or cake pan, bake according to directions on box.
Not homemade, but easy, delicious and moist, and healthier than cake made with butter or oil.
Try it, bitches!
Signed,
Easy, Delicious and Moist
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 07/20/2012 - 5:24pm.
DD- www.dashingdish.com has some great muffin recipes.
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Thank you m'dear!! Let hope prevail that I don't create more hockey pucks.
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"I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!" George Carlin
Awww, Richard is all right with me. He really seems to care. And if he doesn't, he puts on a good show.
DD- www.dashingdish.com has some great muffin recipes.
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If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.