Hot Slut Of The Day!
Big Brother spoiler alert (“Don’t I have to care in order to be spoiled?” – you)! So, ever since Simon Cowell pulled the X-Factor to the US on a string attached to his strongest nipple (the right one), almost every damn reality show has to copy that shit by bringing in “experts” to mentor the contestants. Food Network Star did it and now Big Brother is doing it. This season, the house guests have been split up into 4 teams and each team is mentored by 4 hos from the past: Janelle (who thankfully did not get her Mr. Potato Head nose chopped and cinched), Dan, someotherblonde and Boogie who still looks like what you would get if someone sculpted a Quasimodo statue out of actual boogers.
Each mentor picked a team and all teams competed in a low-budget Wipeout-wannabe challenge where they had to strap teddy bears to their backs and jump across little girl beds. If you’re a pedophile plushie, last night was your night. Dan’s team came in last place and so he had to evict one of his hamster apprentices (hamprentice?). Dan handed walking papers to today’s Hot Slut:
42-year-old Jodi Rollins from Calipatria, CA!
Fun fact: Jodi was the only black person in the house and was the oldest. Racism! Ageism! Headbandism (Jodi loves headbands)! Typical. Oh well, at least we’ll always have this picture of Jodi posing in an awkward Psycho-themed photo shoot. I should’ve seen Jodi’s eviction coming, because she’s wearing platform flip-flops in that picture. Nothing good comes from wearing platform flip-flops.
If this season’s Big Brother is following the horror movie rules, then that means either the slut or the gay dude is next. Quick, everyone form a protective barrier around beautiful flower Wil. No, they can’t get rid of Wil, because if they did his father Zeus will shoot a lightning bolt at those bitches.