Open Post: Hosted By Another Florida Gem
It took me a few blinks to realize that's dried blood on crazy's face and it's not from a salad tossing gone terribly, terribly wrong.
This beautiful mug shot portrait that looks like it's straight from the Faces of Bath Salts Hall of Fame was taken after 29-year-old (yes, 29 in human years and not Courtney Stodden years) Kelsey Smith was arrested in Deltona, FL for DUI. Kelsey resisted arrest, banged his face against the roof of the police car and spit blood at the officers before his ass was tamed twice with a taser gun. Proving that you can't keep a drunk crazy down for long even if you electrify his anus lips twice, Kelsey refused to sit still for his glamour shot and had to be held down by gloved officers.
Florida needs to tell us what kind of drugs this tweaked bear was on, because those are the drugs to stay away from. I'm saying that, because I don't want to snort a drug that somehow leads my tongue to looking like one of Khloe Kardashian's wax strips. At least, I think that's fur on his tongue... But then again, I could've been right this first time when I thought this was a salad tossing gone wrong. I don't want to know. I know too much already.
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Scientists studying a Fox News watcher??
pretty color eyes.
SUCKY!?!?!?!!?
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 9:13pm.
I think we need to get Migraineuse to investigate this shit
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WTF. Am I Sherlock Holmes now or what?
Next on A&E: "Inspector Migraineuse".
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I'm a heretic. Feel free to drive me from your midst.
Crack cocaine will make yer tongue black.
He looks zen doesn't he? Peaceful even. Snort!
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Wyle E
"understand that a slow red panda who nibbles pickles and does somersaults in the middle of a dancefloor is entertaining to a 7-year-old... " MK.
Ow... lucky you got away (((Mickey))) *muah*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Just doing a flyby on lavender scented bath salts to say "Hi & Bye, y'all!".
*bites (((Within))) in the butt*
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Ugh, and you kiss your mother with that tongue??!! [c'mon, it's Florida]
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"Get the fuck out of the way, I want to see the Baby Jesus!" -- MK
I just realized that "bath salts" is a street name and has no relation to Calgon and other therapeutic bathing products. So outlaw the shit and clamp down on imports.
Strange that this gentleman would be from Florida. That's not the sort of behavior you'd expect from Sunshine Staters.
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"Freeway? What the hell's a freeway?"
"Eight lanes of shimmering cement running from here to Pasadena. Smooth, safe, fast. Traffic jams will be a thing of the past."
Lmao @ faces of bath salts.
I'll bet that's exactly what he's on, mixed with a bit of vodka just for fun. :( And wtf is going down in Florida? Everyone is going crazy.
www.poopreport.com :)
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RIMADYL KILLS
Twatty, George Clooney AND John Slattery AND Rahm AND Hamm AND Meloni AND Penn? Lotta brains and brawn there for you! You have one for every day of the week and on the seventh day you... repeated Meloni?! Forget the Keibler elves, and go get 'em! ❀
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Man, if I could say I nailed both George Clooney AND John Slattery, I would run naked up & down State Street here in Chicago screaming that fact! Damn, girlfriend got lucky.
Rahmm is a hot little fucker, isn't he? I bet that man is wild in bed. And have you ever seen his wife? Let me sum it up in one word -- WOOF!
Yeah, smart guys are challenging, but interesting. But I need a really funny guy, too. And a smart, funny guy is so sexy to me.
IF, your foreheads were unturnable? Rude! Congrats on crushing the opposition! ;)
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I don't know if any of you loon hunters watch RHONY, but I was sorta watching it tonight and one of the ladies compared one of the other ones to Angelina Jolie and some something like "Angelina Jolie is super busy, has six kids, is married to Brad Pitt and I'm sure even she returns her calls personally" I fucking LOL'd.
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 10:30pm.
This dude looks like Gerard Butler but I'm sure someone has pointed that out already.
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Gross. He totally does.
I am so ashamed that I ever found Gerard Butler attractive. Ugh. I need to hand in my Dlisted ho card.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
This dude looks like Gerard Butler but I'm sure someone has pointed that out already.
Good evening slores and whores. Won my doubles match tonight 6-1, 6-0 - we were way out of their league, they should not have been made to play. One said my forehands were unreturnable which was a total compliment and they were very gracious in their defeat but whoever put them at our level set them up for failure.
I hope I get a real challenge next time.
I'm off on vacation with the whole Fury Fam on Friday. Road trip!
Anyway, news? Anyone gotten hired, fired or an STD?
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 9:56pm.
Twatty, I love smart men, too. Slattery has definitely become swoon-worthy since Mad Men - he was even a little sexy to me as the politician Carrie dated in Sex and the City. He's married to George Clooney's ex. Lucky...
Rahm is so hot.
My intense hottie lately is Idris Elba. (MJT, that one's for you, too)
I wish I could like not-so-smart, easy-going guys. Just not my thing.
And Megan can suck it with her ugly mouth and she's gonna pay next season
Carl sucks big time! Such a waste. Hate Lori too!
Love Roger...it was hysterical when he tried to speak French. But double d is mine!
Twatty, did you say Sean Penn? hehehehe *teasing ya, hun* Well, he must have something that reels in the ladies, because he has no shortage of beauties after him, that's for sure. ;D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Within -- until "Mad Men" I never thought much of Slattery aside from being a good actor, but now I think he's sex on a swizzle stick! I like my guys long & lean, too. But I have a few odd ones thrown in, too, like Sean Penn (I know!), Ryan Gosling & Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel -- go figure. My problem is I like them smart, which usually means they're difficult & intense. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's not.
SANS FARDS, Lucifer & Kris10 -- I would love it if they would kill off Carl; he is totally useless & annoying. When he ran into that zombie in the woods, I was hoping he'd become a Scoobie snack right then & there.
Lucy, dunno yet whether to face the drooling masses or not... imagine the fappers after several viewings! ARGH o_O I'm thinking more people will be streaming it than going in person though, mark my words!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Lucifer, that's good to hear about the ladies...I'm glad they aren't all a lost cause. Hopefully Carl stops being a meddling little twerp and grows the fuck up. I also hope to see more gratuitous shots of Norman Reedus without his shirt.
I'm going to have to check out the comics. I don't read many graphic novels but I could easily get into them.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Hey twat yes I was reading! Matt is not boring!
Love him
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 9:17pm.
I'm definitely not going to spoil things for you, suffice to say that - if the writers stay true to the comics - then season 3 will be largely positive for the women.
I would LOVE to see Carl get eaten. But I'm afraid to say that he is a fundamental character in the comics and I *doubt* if they'll be willing to deviate that much from that - especially after how many characters they've already sacrificed thanks to his never-ending dumbassery!
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 9:06pm.
WR, assless chaps perhaps?
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GG, on ManJello yes, wait a minute, you're teasing, chaps are ALWAYS assless, you! The rest, go as coppers and firefighters! T-Rex gets the SUV salesman!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 9:04pm.
Haha! Are you going to see MM when it comes out? I can't decide if I should risk the embarrassment of going, and never being able to be seen in public again.
LOL @ assless chaps, GG
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 9:11pm.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 9:03pm.
Yes, I remember we were geeking out over it when it was on. Can we wrestle for Norman Reedus please?
Have you read the comics? The female characters - except Lori! - are not as horrible as they are on the show. I think we need to get Migraineuse to investigate this shit, because the females are all dead weight on the show in favour of the "courageous" men. Holding out hope for Michonne.
I actually fist-bumped the air when Dale got eaten :( but LOL'd at that Super Zombie that could not get it's leg out of the mud to eat that little fucker Carl, BUT managed to disembowel a COW and a HUMAN in one night with bare hands? Someone please shoot the writers of that show.
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ROFL. I hate Carl! that stupid punk kid thinks he knows everything. Who goes and pokes a zombie that's stuck in the mud? Everything is all his fault and really the writers should just eliminate him.
yeah, I hope the lady characters come back in a major way this season. Particularly Lori; she has *some* redeeming qualities. Andrea's been nothing but obnoxious, and Carol is useless. I do kind of like the Maggie/Glenn storyline and I hope they develop it....but seriously, the guys have all the lines and the action in this show. I'm usually not one to notice this sort of thing but it is glaring in Walking Dead.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 9:03pm.
Yes, I remember we were geeking out over it when it was on. Can we wrestle for Norman Reedus please?
Have you read the comics? The female characters - except Lori! - are not as horrible as they are on the show. I think we need to get Migraineuse to investigate this shit, because the females are all dead weight on the show in favour of the "courageous" men. Holding out hope for Michonne.
I actually fist-bumped the air with joy when Dale got eaten :( but LOL'd at that Super Zombie that could not get it's leg out of the mud to eat that little fucker Carl, BUT managed to disembowel a COW and a HUMAN in one night with bare hands? Someone please shoot the writers of that show.
WR, assless chaps perhaps?
Hi ♥Lucy, you got tired of admiring those studs in the other thread? MK was right, too many suits at that premiere! Tear away pants, would have been nice, at the very least. Or cop uniforms... for shame.
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 8:59pm.
Nice one, I can't wait for that. Especially for the costumes, I also love 40s mob shit. I loved Darabont's writing on TWD, I think it was when he was "made redundant" that the show went downhill.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 8:51pm.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 8:44pm.
Lucifer_Sam -- sadly, hon, no. I get where you're coming from, though. My main gay got tingly for Shane, liked him a lot. I like Rick; I like lanky guys with dark hair & blue eyes. From what I've heard, Michonne will not disappoint.
After Shane fed that fat guy to zombies, when he shaved his head in the bathroom and wiped down the mirror I was like "Ok, I HATE YOU and I'll FUCK YOU just to prove how much I hate you!"
Factoid: Andrew Lincoln (Rick) was on some TV show here years ago called Teachers. It was very good. Then he disappeared after the first season "to go to Hollywood" like every other British actor, and no one heard from him again. Suddenly he reappeared as an American sheriff from the South and everybody was like WAT
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Walking Dead talk? I liked the last episode of this past season, but by and large it didn't hold a candle to season 1. I couldn't stand Shane, and I'm glad he was killed off (Rick is hotter, anyway). I was sad about Dale meeting his untimely demise, but apparently no one else was (my housemates cheered when he was killed off). Rick is IN CHARGE now and bitches better not mess. This is not a democracy!
Also, I really hope the writers redeem their female characters. None of them are likable. ESPECIALLY Sophia's mom....what purpose does she serve, except to have some weird sexual tension with Daryl (Norman Reedus is MINE, bitch).
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Twatty, you like to mix it up by throwing in Slattery, huh? The other guys all come across as having great personalities and looks! Very confident. I'm surprised by how many people like T-Rex! I thought his best work was Dazed and Confused, haha and that was a looooong time ago!
I like good-looking long and lean, or something approaching that... they can be dumb and nice or smart and sweet, you name it, so long as they got something I like about them, we can work with it! lol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by Mojo_Jojo on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 6:19pm.
I didn't get what Megan Fox saw in Brian Austin Green. I mean, she's young and hot and he's DAVID FUCKING SILVER but then I heard he has a huge wang. So I though, "ahhh dickmatized." Then I saw him at a horror convention last year and he's pretty good looking in person. A little short, but most actors are.
so meh, good for her.
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I don't think Megan Fox is the brightest bulb in the chandelier. She used to be gorgeous, but is slowly screwing with her looks with plastic surgery....I get the impression she is very insecure.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Lucifer_Sam -- from what I understand, Shane's character was supposed to be killed off way earlier, but they decided to keep him on. But the initial creator of the show, Frank Darabont, has a new project starting up, "LA Noir," and the lead actor will be Jon Berenthal, who played Shane. So you'll be able to knot your panties up over that. I love mob-type pieces set in the 40's. I'm looking forward to a movie coming out in October, "Gangster Squad," a 40's mob movie starring my men Sean Penn and Ryan Gosling.
Hi Within! ♥
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 8:44pm.
Lucifer_Sam -- sadly, hon, no. I get where you're coming from, though. My main gay got tingly for Shane, liked him a lot. I like Rick; I like lanky guys with dark hair & blue eyes. From what I've heard, Michonne will not disappoint.
After Shane fed that fat guy to zombies, when he shaved his head in the bathroom and wiped down the mirror I was like "Ok, I HATE YOU and I'll FUCK YOU just to prove how much I hate you!"
Factoid: Andrew Lincoln (Rick) was on some TV show here years ago called Teachers. It was very good. Then he disappeared after the first season "to go to Hollywood" like every other British actor, and no one heard from him again. Suddenly he reappeared as an American sheriff from the South and everybody was like WAT
Can't be there are no FL defenders in this bunch? Didn't MK mention in his radio interview that they had their very own brand of cholas there, called them chongas? lmao, never heard that before!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Within -- Manjello is not married. From what I've heard about him, I'm getting a bit of a douche vibe. Yeah, he's got a beautiful body and gorgeous hair, an okay face, but he's kind of dead behind the eyes, know what I mean? He seems like the type of guy who would be constantly looking in the mirror, too. Honestly, aside from the hot scene with T-Rex doing his southern drawl, none of the guys in this movie really do it for me. My top three dream guys are Meloni, Jon Hamm and Mark Harmon, oh, and throw John Slattery in there, too.
Sadly his arrest and mugshot are probably his greatest life achievements. Are Florida beauty pageant queens also doubly insane compared to their other state counterparts?
*high fives BigBendy with 11 wide* Another kindred spirit!
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 8:37pm.
Swimming's on!!! wooooooo!!! Ryan Lochte is so stupidly fucking fast it's fucking insane.
(sorry, I get kinda excited about this. don't mind me.)
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Me too. I swam competivly and my kids do now. So it is very close to my heart.
Lucifer_Sam -- sadly, hon, no. I get where you're coming from, though. My main gay got tingly for Shane, liked him a lot. I like Rick; I like lanky guys with dark hair & blue eyes. From what I've heard, Michonne will not disappoint.
LOLOLOL Twatty, so gross about Matt! Is ManJello married? Maybe you mean Matt... You just can't get enough of those masculine manly men! hahaha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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@SANS
Lochte takes the 400 final! JEAH!!!!!!!!!
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 06/25/2012 - 7:57pm.
on "The Walking Dead," I love when they run into a bunch of walkers, they scare the hell out of me. Plus the guy who plays Rick is awfully cute.
Shane THOUGH - don't you want to just hate-fuck him
Damn, season 2 was a huge mess. Have you read the comics? They better NOT fuck up my Michonne in season 3. I am expecting the baddest bitch on earth, but they'll probably fuck up her character like they did ALL THE OTHERS.
Hi everyone. I second cutting off Florida, but first make sure all the crazies are there as well as the Kuntrashian, Lilo, JLo, Octomom, all the other fame whores, and drugged out celebs.
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What in the praying mantis crackhooker hell is this?! - MK 9/09
Swimming's on!!! wooooooo!!! Ryan Lochte is so stupidly fucking fast it's fucking insane.
(sorry, I get kinda excited about this. don't mind me.)
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
Thank god we only go to the Meth-part of Florida.