Open Post: Hosted By Madge's Nalgas
Everybody in Milan better hang horseshoes from their nipples and protect their eyeballs with evil-eye sunglasses, because I have a feeling that Madge will open a box of dark-sidedness by flashing her sith holocron crotch (sith holocrotch?) at her show tomorrow night. I mean, I am sensing a shameless theme here.
Madge flashed tit faucet at her show in Turkey on Thursday night and during her show in Rome last night, she showed the audience what cracking nutsacks with her nalgas has done to her 53-year-old ass. So yeah, nipple in Turkey, ass cheeks in Rome, madgepoon in Milan, feed from a live colon cam in Florence and after that she'll just start showing audiences x-rays of her internal organs.
Some whores have been saying shit about this picture like "Granny cut her Metamucil with vodka again!" and "Save it for strip poker night at Shady Pines, granny!" First of all, Madge has the body of a roided-up hairless cat and not the body of a typical granny. Second of all, Madge might be a 105-year-old vampire, but she's not a granny yet. Third of all, if your granny got up on the table and flashed her lace thong Depends, you'd throw caramel squares at her while showering her with praise for representing the family name right! I know I would. But my abuelita would never do that. If she wanted to flash anything, she'd have to take off the sofa throw she wears over her shoulders, take off both cardigans and by the time she was about to take off the t-shirt she wears over her housedress, she'd be ready for a cold compress and a nap.
via UsWeekly (Thanks, Becky)
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Right?
the dog next door has a total man-crush on him and he pisses on him too. ASSHOLE.
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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"
I had a French guy tell me today that I look like an adolescent Truman Capote. What the fuck?
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Submitted by christine the hoff on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 4:08pm.
Forgot to mention,when I was dropping my dog off, there was a dog who was finished and waiting in a cage for pickup, my Malachai walked up to him and pissed all over his head... I nearly died trying to get out of there without laughing myself to death... my dog's an asshole. sounds familiar..
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Was she a Kardasshian ? he might have got confused.. :D
M.E. - I am. I just don't like felines.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Hoff - LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! ASSHOLE DOG! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHA!
Submitted by christine the hoff on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 4:08pm.
Forgot to mention,when I was dropping my dog off, there was a dog who was finished and waiting in a cage for pickup, my Malachai walked up to him and pissed all over his head... I nearly died trying to get out of there without laughing myself to death... my dog's an asshole. sounds familiar..
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HAHAHAHA when I had my cocker spaniel, on the first day we brought him home, the black dog next door pissed on him....my dog was then racist towards black dogs since and would have a barking fit if he saw one.
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"What is the Yiddish word for puto estúpido, because that's what he really is" - MK
Momus - excellent point! *shaves beard, puts on skinny jeans* lol
hoffer - no fucking way! That is odd. My dogs would lay in their pools all damn day. All you could see was their head sticking up over the edge pool...
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
when did MANdonna turn into AMANda LePore?
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 4:03pm.
Hoffer - I used to put bandanas on my sheps... SO CUTE!
MJT - as much as I do not like cats, that was pretty cute...
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WHAT?!?!?!?? I thought you were the pussy whisperer or some shit!?!??!
Madge's "Girl Gone Wild" song blasted on my Pandora the other day and one of the lines was "Girls just want to have fun" and yet, she's giving Gaga hell for "copying".
It went downhill after "Hard Candy". She just needs to hang it up.
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"What is the Yiddish word for puto estúpido, because that's what he really is" - MK
Submitted by christine the hoff on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 4:08pm
Kardashian Pet Sitting Service on line one, maam
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by christine the hoff on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 4:08pm.
my dog's an asshole. sounds familiar..
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HAHAHAHAHAAA
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 4:10pm.
they didn't know each other? LMFAO!!!!!
I have the ONLY Shep in the world who hates, I mean fucking HATES water.... wtf is that.....
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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 3:37pm.
Well I mean my goodness gracious let's wait for all the H8TR MOMS to roll out in their Oreo stained elastic waistband jeans to beat down a hot memaw...
She has a great ass = I. SO. WOULD.
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Jack, honey, I hate to tell you this ... but, you are way too old for her. You are old enough to buy beer in a bar so that makes you too old. Sorry.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Hoffer - my vet talked me in to shaving my sheps one summer... When I took them to the groomer (who was on about a mile away, I would take one, drop him off, then go back and get the other one... When I brought them back (one at a time) I let the second one out and when they saw each other (SHAVED!) they started barking at each other and almost got in a fight LOLOL!! then they walked around looking at each other like WTF HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR HAHAHAHAHA!! I never did it again. Too traumatic. I also bought each of them one of those $10 plastic kiddie pools every year... they LOVED those fuckers.
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Thanks guys.
It'll be alright, regardless of what happens. I just thought I made it through this recession relatively unscathed.
And that may still be the case - I'm obviously very negative right now. And if it does happen, maybe it's a good thing and will open doors to better opportunities. *trying to turn frown upside down*
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
It's come to that, has it? What was appealing in 1984 is now less so.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."
Forgot to mention,when I was dropping my dog off, there was a dog who was finished and waiting in a cage for pickup, my Malachai walked up to him and pissed all over his head... I nearly died trying to get out of there without laughing myself to death... my dog's an asshole. sounds familiar..
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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"
She looked like caca with the bewb flash imo.
(((Chewin))))
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"What is the Yiddish word for puto estúpido, because that's what he really is" - MK
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 4:03pm.
Hoffer - I used to put bandanas on my sheps... SO CUTE!
Went he went in february, he came back with red and white ribbon threaded through his collar, which was cute, but yeah, this is way cuter!
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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"
LOL WTF!
*grabs sammich from Jack, kicks Jack in the crotchbone, and tosses sammich so it maintains a little dignity* :P
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Hoffer - I used to put bandanas on my sheps... SO CUTE!
MJT - as much as I do not like cats, that was pretty cute...
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
chewy - sorry to hear about the job. Hopefully they spare you?
@Chewin
Awwwww, man. Keeping everything crossed that everything goes well for you.
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 3:51pm.
Well, Mr. Chewi makes a fair amount of money, but I CANNOT STAND the idea of relying on him for money (we're not married, but we've both been married - and money was a big motivator in both divorces, so everything is separate for that reason alone).
We are (were?), however, buying this house together so I guess for all intents and purposes, we are as together as any married couple.
I know I could count on him to fend for things for awhile if absolutely necessary, but the thought of that makes me almost as sick as losing my job. I have visions of being accused of not contributing (prolly flashbacks from a bad married life more than anything).
So, I imagine they will do their thing with me at the end of the day. That's usually how it's been going, as I understand it.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
It's not Madonna's body that bothers me, it's her exhibitionism.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
MJT - OAH MAH GAHD!
No one cares anymore, Madge. The last time someone said "OMG, Madonna's naked!" Clinton was in office.
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What the fuck dude? And being European is NOT an excuse. - IHateCharityChic 05/10/2012
Chewin, been there. sending all good thoughts your way.xoxoxoxoxoxo
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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"
Chewin...*holds your hair back* *hugs*
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 3:54pm.
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 3:52pm.
HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! *spreads mayo on BS's sammich*
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..poor Slutty .. you didn't really want that sammich anyhow, did ya?..
@Jack
Lies! Lies! :P
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
so I took mah puppah to the groomer, and when I went to pick him up, he had on a sporty red bandanna! cute!!!!
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"I didn't know whether to shit or go blind, so I closed one eye and farted"
Nice ass Madge
Chewin, when are they announcing it? I'm sure even if it does happen you'll land on your feet. Keep us posted, k? xoxo
Can't wait until she comes to Brazil.
She'll probably show her roidy crotch so she can attract some baby Jesus, just like she did last time she came here.
I truly believe that you haven't begun to scoop up all of life's beautiful moments until you've heard the line "Watch the wig!" from a piece while sitting on their face. - MK
I'm with the she has a great looking ass from what I can see crowd.
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 3:52pm.
HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! *spreads mayo on BS's sammich*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by SalmaNella on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 3:44pm.
"I WILL be saying the same thing WHEN Bruce Springsteen IS prancing around on stage shirtless AND David Lee Roth IS still wearing spandex and TRYING TO do[] the air splits."
thought i'd help you out there. because neither of those guys are exactly known for their on-stage self restraint . . . lol
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 3:45pm.
Oh my yes, I see this happening. Plus, you couldn't turn the box fan on because her meat curtains would flap in the wind.... mmmmmmm, meaty
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 3:51pm.
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 3:43pm.
who WOULDN'T you Jacko ??
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I would not do BaconSlut's bologna sammich... :P
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that's a-cause she is smart enuf to hidez it from ya. otherwise ....
chew, I am so sorry. I really hope you are spared.
What's your sitch? Do you live alone or have someone who can help with bills? Can you stay ok for a few months or are you in instant trouble?
You should be able to get unemployment benefits and hopefully an excellent reference.
Let us know when you know more, I'll be hoping for the best for you xx
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 3:43pm.
who WOULDN'T you Jacko ??
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I would not do BaconSlut's bologna sammich... :P
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
lol *gives guest ETA AND BENDY a lap dance*
I think Madonna looks fabulous for her age. I remember when Cher was dating Richie Sambora and did that video with her ass hanging out and everyone freaked, lmao. Yes it's highly inappropriate and I hope I give as little a fuck when I'm their age.
how many eye rolls does this nasty roided up ho need from me today, cause I just used most of my eye rolls on that deep bitch Beyonce's bullshit on the word the Blue....Blue is a color end of fucking story...dayum, now Aqua or Turquoise is a color I can get behind, but blue is blah....color of uniforms and reminds me of our disgusting government, which is not a good thing, also I think blue represents the republicans (or is it red, I get confused) either way it is horseshit and boring.
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 3:47pm.
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 3:44pm.
((chewin)) Hope it's just a false alarm!
You are so sweet(ass). Thank you, but I'm afraid this isn't a false alarm - unless by the grace of God above, I am spared - which I see as highly unlikely. Board of Directors are making their cuts all week, and they're here in my office this afternoon as I type this.
I literally feel like I'm going to throw up.
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Hugs to Chew. I'll second the motion that it is just a false alarm.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 3:29pm
agreed -- seeing that tacky shit is more offensive than seeing her ass. which ain't bad for a 55 yr old
"Voodoo is forgetting who's the john and who's the whore." MK, 3/20/12
Submitted by Sweetas on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 3:40pm.
UGH Madge! You have zero class!!! *pulls my pants down and belly dances for everyone*
XxxxxxXxxxxxxXxxxxxXxxxxXxxXxx
Sweetas, you go, work it girl!
Submitted by chewinsmoke on Wed, 06/13/2012 - 3:42pm.
I'm in the middle of buying a new house.
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Holy shit! Ya know, it may be better to lose your earnest money than buy a new house without a job :( good luck either way!
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers