Blame It On The Brakes
Thanks to that picture, you now know what the ring felt like when Gollum reached for it.
Lindsay Lohan's Encyclopedia of Cracked Out Excuses just got another entry. Bitch obviously doesn't think her "the bitch cut me off" excuse is good enough, because she's thrown another coke-laced excuse on top of that one. TMZ says that LiLo is now telling friends that she rammed into the 18-wheeler that allegedly cut her off because the brakes on her rented Porsche suddenly stopped working. And tomorrow, LiLo will bend over and shit out a dozen more excuses like, "The black kid was driving! I was drinking Kombucha tea!"
A source (born name: Donata Sullivan) tells TMZ that LiLo is crying to her friends that the semi-truck driver is mouth farting out lie after lie. The accident wasn't her fault (he says it is), there was no mysterious pink bag (he says there was) and nobody tried to seal his lips with some hush money (he says they did). We already know that the brakes on this messy twat's life dot work and now she's also telling her friends that the brakes on her rented Porsche didn't work either. LiLo thinks this is weird, because the people who rented her the Porsche told her the brakes were replaced just two days before she busted into that 18-wheeler.
You can't count on this bitch for much, but you can always count on her to reach deep into her ass and pull out a hilarious excuse. The brakes broke? The only way I'd buy that shit is if LiLo snorted up all the brake fluid beforehand or if the ghost of Elizabeth Taylor got revenge by cutting those brakes. Actually, both of those are serious possibilities.
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I'd sooner believe it was her than the truck driver! He's a professional. If he had swerved AND she had been driving a SAFE DISTANCE BACK, she'd have had a better chance to brake properly or at least manoeuvre the vehicle the other way. Bitch was distracted or fooling around. I doubt she had dry panties though. She seems perpetually drenched. Dumb. LOL
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Let's just all calm down.
It's not like we were in the passenger (accident) side with LL.
Sample text
You will never believe who im in the car with rite now OMG TRUCK
18 wheeler guy should sue Lohan *eyerolls* Lohan should sue rental car company *eyerolls* rental car company should sue Porsche *more eyerolls* Porsche should sue Lohan for blaming the brakes *eyes still rolling* Court should sue Lohan for wasting court time for ridiculous lawsuits *eyes fall out of head from rolling*
this bitch. has she yet said the paps were following/distracting her as well?
what i never understand is why in the fuck people with a lot of coin drive. first thing i'd do with my million dollar paycheck is get a fucking driver.
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watching hardcore ufos
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 7:22pm.
Submitted by ikoihiI on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 7:05pm.
I was purposely polite because no one deserved to get slammed, you moron, except you now. There's no need for you to post like that.
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First off, Miss Ho Dog, I was in here trying to discuss Lohan = mess (not even hot), and was getting overrun by MM commentary. Secondly, I didn't insult anyone or call anyone out (unlike your worthless ass), so you need to chill out. Calling me a moron isn't going to make your lame ass life any better, but it shows that you can randomly choose me as someone you think you can bully and call names.
WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY IS SHE STILL ALIVE??? WHY? Here's to hoping that life will imitate art and her fucking lifetime movie about La Liz ends with Liz's death both onscreen and in real life. Fucking moron twat licker
Submitted by mike on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 7:23pm.
Suckie doing a weekend drive-by!!!
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k bt it was BRAKEZ nd then he LIES ok every1 listn 2 ME. THE BRAKZX
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 7:20pm
Suckie doing a weekend drive-by!!!
Submitted by ikoihiI on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 7:05pm.
I was purposely polite because no one deserved to get slammed, you moron, except you now. There's no need for you to post like that.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
omg but u guyz, THE BRAKZ!!!!!!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by mike on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 7:11pm.
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 7:04pm.
I like your new avie. The greyhound is my least favorite, for some reason.
^^^^^^^^^^^
You should see what Jazzy did to the greyhound. Come to think of it, Sandbitch also messified it.
I read that BloHan went straight to the set after she left the hospital to "show" everyone she's a professional. Probably more like her dealer was waiting for her.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 7:00pm.
Hey guys, come on. Not everyone is a fan of Mad Men. How about you take it to the OP so I can talk about me? :-)
fixed
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 7:04pm.
I like your new avie. The greyhound is my least favorite, for some reason.
@Twat Muffin: yes, that's a hot pic. Slattery was someone who was meant to be in the pages of GQ.
@ Dog- alright, I'll take it to OP ;)
See you Mad Men horz in OP...
I wonder if that is one of the reasons her lips are so big right now so she could give good head to earn money for her habit.
Okay, I am gonna go fuck myself right outta here and stop blabbering about Mad Men. Saawry! : ) (seriously, I know it's annoying). It's just I was posting about Blohan and got bored with it.
Panty cream, LOLOLOLOL good one! Lindsay IS NOT IT! Lohan needs a major lesson in humility and manners! One of these days... ;P
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Tex, I just can not believe that someone/anyone would AGREE/WANT to be paid with sexual favors from her. Just sayin'
Be Good to Each Other
HERE'S an OP for you bland bitches.
http://dlisted.com/2012/06/09/open-post-hosted-fear-factors-donkey-show-...
Sick of reading horny ass women wet their panties about some stupid show. Go to OP
^this. I hate when shit goes off topic.
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
Twatty, no denying Slattery is one sophisticated hottie. Very nice looking man indeed! Nice pic. I like the rough-soft edge Hamm has though. That girlfriend, just no. But Roger does come across as very accessible, I agree! lol ;P
OnT: Lifetime is working on burying this as we speak. They drain the press value out of the incident then pay off the rental company. Worth every penny to them. But this dangerous dumbass on the road, needs her keys confiscated!
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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18 wheelers don't just "cut" people off. That's pretty much impossible.
She's lucky I'm not in LA. I would seek her dumb ass out and show her what cutting off means, just so I could sue her.
Twattie, I'm not pissed. I get off topic myself. There is an OP down further.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
My theory is that the car was part of her deal with the production company. I bet they gave her use of a car for the duration of the shoot. Then she wasn't showing up on time, so they hired the Escalade with the driver. There is NO WAY any one would rent her a car. Or if they did, they got a huge deposit and made her sign up for ALL the insurance.
Sorry, Dog, I knew you were gonna be pissed. We're just a passionabe bunch when it comes to MM. We promise to take it to OP if we ever get one!
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 7:00pm.
Hey guys, come on. Not everyone is a fan of Mad Men. How about you take it to the OP so the rest of us can snark on BloHan? :-)
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Totally agree. I think that's one of the reasons I don't comment as much; nobody talks about the posts - it's either some shit totally unrelated, or some troll talking shit to everyone else.
IDGAF about Mad Men. Why not go to a Mad Men board to yap incessantly about some show?
miz cynical- That Pete sure is a strange one! I do like his character a lot though (there's a lot of comedy there) and the actor is talented.
Thornhill....so did Liz and look what happened...
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...the end
Hey guys, come on. Not everyone is a fan of Mad Men. How about you take it to the OP so the rest of us can snark on BloHan? :-)
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
More like blame it on the shakes because you know bitch was in withdrawal.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
PSL, Within, miz cynical -- okay, here's the picture that made my panties explode:
http://www.google.com/imgres?q=john+slattery&hl=en&sa=X&biw=1536&bih=751...
@Twat Muffin: oh I know that Roger would never go for Dawn, it would be way too liberal for him. It just helps my fantasies :). His character is probably the only racist ass that I find endearing.
Her rationale is that this excuse gets her out of this bind, plus she can then $ue the rental car agency. It's a win-win for her (in her own mind)!
Twat Muffin - haha. I like Roger too, you know, given the time with that awful attitude towards minorities.
I am wondering when miss manipulative Sally is gonna ask Megan why Grandma was bobbing all over Roger's crotch?! lol. Well, first, I almost always (with the exception of Betty) think that Don's women are far too good for him so that is probably part of it, but I do like her. I like her style and her free heartedness. I like that she does not put up with his shit. I like that she is not threatened by Betty at all.
James Dean bought it in a Porsche Vs semi accident...but he had talent, soooooooo...
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
It's so cold in the D....
Within -- Believe me, I love Don/Jon Hamm, but Roger/John Slattery is more accessible and seems to be way more fun, know what I mean? Don't get me wrong, I'd be all over both of them, both the characters and the real guys like a cheap suit, but Roger/John seems to be the easier, more fun of the two.
I would fall over if I saw something like, "Well, yeah, I got distracted and it was an accident. It happens."
miz cynical -- even though Roger will fuck anyone, I don't see him being quite that liberal to go with Dawn. Then again, you never know. I saw a picture of John Slattery on pinterest yesterday and he looked so gorgeous -- my panties totally exploded!!!
Daniee -- 40 lashes with a wet noodle, young lady! LOL! Really, you like Megan? My I ask why? I'm asking because all of us here on dlisted pretty much hate her. I can't stand her funky mouth.
We better be careful -- Dog hates when we talk about MM.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 6:32pm.
PSL & miz cynical -- if I were Joan, I'd take Roger's money AND his dick -- I LOVE that man!!!...
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Oh my Twatty, where did you see that? Until I see proof, I'll have to say I prefer a HAMM sandwich with some pickle garnish. lolol
OnT: Screw Linds. Whoever actually "rented" that Porsche should be spanked hard, but they were just following orders, so...
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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@Daniee- I understand what you mean about death. There's been a general sense of forboding this season. I don't think Pete's going to do it now since he saw Lane do it. I could see him starting another affair, though. Just out of boredom.
Twat Muffin : NO ONE is judging you for your love of Roger ;). I've said it many times before that Weiner needs to shake things up by having Roger and Dawn get it on!
I'm so going to have to avoid OP tomorrow afternoon 'cause I won't be able to have a recap until tomorrow evening. I'll also be avoiding fb, the interwebs, etc. ;).
a "yeah, okay" tag would be very appropriate here.
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"I felt very still & very empty, the way the eye of a tornado must feel, moving dully along in the middle of the surrounding hullabaloo."
Maybe she was just auditioning for Lifetime's next movie about James Dean?
Mefunigirl...now maybe if "I" could fit into size "0" again it WOULD be worth it!!
GG...true :(
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...the end
@Daniee: yes, I hope that we haven't seen the last of Peggy.
@PSL: I have to make sure my dvr doesn't cut off Mad Men just in case it goes a few mins late.
Oh yeah, you know those Porches- so unreliable! *eye roll*
And I have been searching for Mad Men finale spoilers and I can't find anything. The closest I found was an interview with Pete Campbell (who seems like a huge weirdo in real life) saying that he meets someone on the train.
Haha. I actually do like Megan and think she is way too independent for Don. *ducking*, But when it did feel like there was going to be some death this season, I almost thought it would either be one of Don's kids falling off the balcony of his penthouse, Pete with his beloved shotgun or Megan.
Well, this ensures that she will *never* be the spokesperson for "No Excuses" jeans.
PSL & miz cynical -- if I were Joan, I'd take Roger's money AND his dick -- I LOVE that man!!! I almost love him more than Don. At least he's fun, I love that in a guy. I'm hoping they kill Megan for the finale -- that would be a great way to end it IMO. I hate that bitch. They offed poor Lane, whom I really liked, why not get rid of that twat and her horse teeth?
so first was that the 18 wheeler cut her off...now the brakes didn't work? bitch please. she has caca luck.
Coma Caca!
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