Blame It On The Brakes
Thanks to that picture, you now know what the ring felt like when Gollum reached for it.
Lindsay Lohan's Encyclopedia of Cracked Out Excuses just got another entry. Bitch obviously doesn't think her "the bitch cut me off" excuse is good enough, because she's thrown another coke-laced excuse on top of that one. TMZ says that LiLo is now telling friends that she rammed into the 18-wheeler that allegedly cut her off because the brakes on her rented Porsche suddenly stopped working. And tomorrow, LiLo will bend over and shit out a dozen more excuses like, "The black kid was driving! I was drinking Kombucha tea!"
A source (born name: Donata Sullivan) tells TMZ that LiLo is crying to her friends that the semi-truck driver is mouth farting out lie after lie. The accident wasn't her fault (he says it is), there was no mysterious pink bag (he says there was) and nobody tried to seal his lips with some hush money (he says they did). We already know that the brakes on this messy twat's life dot work and now she's also telling her friends that the brakes on her rented Porsche didn't work either. LiLo thinks this is weird, because the people who rented her the Porsche told her the brakes were replaced just two days before she busted into that 18-wheeler.
You can't count on this bitch for much, but you can always count on her to reach deep into her ass and pull out a hilarious excuse. The brakes broke? The only way I'd buy that shit is if LiLo snorted up all the brake fluid beforehand or if the ghost of Elizabeth Taylor got revenge by cutting those brakes. Actually, both of those are serious possibilities.
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ADMIT YOU ARE WRONG, BITCH!!!!! Bajesus..... why is that so fucking hard for her?????? I don't understand.....................
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Fuckery is what fuckery does.
Via Pitchfork - Daft Punk/Lohan Surf Short Film. BARF!
http://www.gagosian.com/news/2012/05/30/466
http://www.pitchfork.com/news/46807-daft-punks-thomas-bangalter-scores-s...
Loopy, that sounds mysteriously ominous... Lolololololol should we be scared? *shaking*
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 06/11/2012 - 11:10am.
anything is possible in hohan's world.
Bag load of shitty excuses because bitch cannot own up to her own fuck ups.
DIAF!
you're right MK, Liz Taylor (RIP) is SO trying to take her to the other side so she can beat LL herself since she can't get to the Directors and Producers of the abomination that will be Liz & Dick
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http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy
she's clearly a favored hooker to many powerful people so the odds are slim to none that she will face any consequences for this. remember, every non-hooker getting up at 6 AM to work a crappy job to survive would have been locked under the jail for 1/5th of the crimes Ms. Goldenpuss Firecrotch over here has perpetrated.
the thing is, I'm sure she's had to endure many sordid situations to have earned this carte blanche...making out with mom (we've all seen the pics), sexing on that fat hotel sheik who gives her drugs...who knows how many times she's had to shit on someone's chest. If I had to endure a golden shower or two I'd be raging against the machine myself.
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 06/11/2012 - 2:13am.
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LMAO Loopy, involuntary attack and ingestion of the cokes and booze's hahahahahaha ;D
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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We all know this cunt will not suffer any consequences from this accident except maybe a stiff neck. Bitch is teflon when it comes to the law. maybe the brakes didn't work because she was stepping on the gas pedal.
GUYS! The Lifetime production DID hire a driver to take her to and from the set!! It was actually following her when she crashed the Porsche.
How many rational people would turn down a chauffeur-driven Escalade to get to work every day?
There was NO reason for her to be driving. SHE CHOSE TO DRIVE THAT DAY, even though there was a driver waiting to take her to work.
THAT is what kind of FUCKING IDIOT she is.
If I had that kind of money, I would get a cheaper car and hire a driver. But if she wasn't a moron, it wouldn't matter.
Crazy in Japan: that Dogmeat comment reminded me. There was an episode of Nip Tuck where Melissa Gilbert played an Army Wife who was having plastic surgery to fix tears on her vag and inner legs. Her husband brought in their German shepherd in a body bag because the dog was her lover. She was putting peanut butter on her puss and tits and the dog would go to town!
betcha shes gonna say "dingo ate my brakes"
stoopid ho
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Bottom line:HIRE a DRIVER!!!!!!!! you cannot drive!!!
I also think she has mental illness and she uses the drugs to escape it??????????maybe something like bi polor??????
Can you imagine what she pays for car insurance and it's just gone up AGAIN?!!
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Mon, 06/11/2012 - 6:44am.
you know Hohan will try that soon. lol bitch has no shame.
Lyndsay Lohan's life sure is difficult. Does she ever do anything of a normal nature? Cook? Clean? Study? I think these things would be good for her. These things keep ppl humble and centered. Like no one should have to wash YOUR dirty chonies Lyndsay Move That Cone Lohan! Girl you in trouble. In trouble with yourself!
Submitted by loopygorilla on Mon, 06/11/2012 - 2:13am.
...Or White Oprah called, and told Hohan she will kill herself cuz all the grey goose vodka has run out, so Hohan was rushing to save her mother with an emergency bottle of grey goose, and during the car accident the grey goose bottle smashed and the liquid alcohol richochet from the dashboard and went straight into her mouth because her mouth was open due to screaming, and she accidentally swallowed the alcohol, plus the cocaine powder that blew up her nose, after travelling from colombia via a tornado.
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this is GOLD LOL
Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Mon, 06/11/2012 - 12:11am.
bitch be a compulsive liar
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I think that's the *least* of her laundry list of issues... (-̮̮̃•̃)
Submitted by kndall44 on Mon, 06/11/2012 - 5:15am.
Lol i hardly think a rental company leasing out a PORSCHE, will not maintain the car properly, i mean, its not they are leasing out my first crappy car Datsun 500. lol
its a PORSCHE.
thats why i think the next time Hohan speaks, she is will be using this excuse.
White Oprah called, and told Hohan she will kill herself cuz all the grey goose vodka has run out, so Hohan was rushing to save her mother with an emergency bottle of grey goose, and during the car accident the grey goose bottle smashed and the liquid alcohol richochet from the dashboard and went straight into her mouth because her mouth was open due to screaming, and she accidentally swallowed the alcohol, plus the cocaine powder that blew up her nose, after travelling from colombia via a tornado.
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Now the rental company says that car got new brakes 2 days before she got it.
Drat!! Oh well, Lind's got a dozen more excuses ready to go, per usual..
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Lets face it, this is only going to end one way. The writing's on the wall, She hasn't had a career for years, constantly in trouble with law, substance abuse, no responsabilty or remorse for anything she has done and the most arrogant sense of entitlment I've seen for someone you has really not achieved anything. She was cute as a kid but now she is just dumb.
Re: the Snookie pix.
Ewwww! Is that a portrait of her dad on the dresser behind her?! I've never sent crotch shots to anyone, but if I did I would probably try to crop my dad out of the frame.
hohan will say Elizabeth's ghost took over her body and she was in a trance or something...that will be the next excuse.
Or White Oprah called, and told Hohan she will kill herself cuz all the grey goose vodka has run out, so Hohan was rushing to save her mother with an emergency bottle of grey goose, and during the car accident the grey goose bottle smashed and the liquid alcohol richochet from the dashboard and went straight into her mouth because her mouth was open due to screaming, and she accidentally swallowed the alcohol, plus the cocaine powder that blew up her nose, after travelling from colombia via a tornado.
Submitted by SANS FARDS
Thanks for that Snooki pic. This site needed some class and decorum today.
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Indeed it did. Never saw a more dainty and demure slit that looks like it had been glued shut. Who were these pics meant for? The teacher that gave her a D in geometry or something. Damn,she's a nasty article,isn't she?
Hey Hekki -
I just liked how you thought of the "average" guy (truck driver) and how this impacts his life and job. She reams into him, cries fucking boohoo, has her asswipers clean up after her, but the average joe has to take time out of his low paying job to deal with this fucking entitled crack whore. So from a blue collar worker, I salute you for remembering us. Thanks.
Snooki's snatch pic is only awful for the fact that she leaked it on purpose or was careless enough to allow herself to be hacked. This feels like Ewok soft porn. meh
Don't.like.hor.stunts.unless.they're.hot Lololol
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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bitch be a compulsive liar
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Aniston is artistically, intellectually and reproductively barren.
Paltrow is a walking argument against nepotism.
I'm just waiting around to read the headline "LL Found Dead" or something to that effect. Don't they usually die on the verge of their "big comeback"?? That's been the track record in recent years. I don't apparently wish it on her, but its getting ridiculous the way she disrespects the law and our intelligence for that matter. I'm so through with this nut but I can't stop watching the slow motion trainwreck. I've never had so much disdain for someone I've never met. And forget blaming Dina and Michael because most people are charmed by money and will do what it takes to keep money. Lindsay and her lack of self discipline and accountability is to blame for everything.
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"Uhh....I'm here for the gang bang??"
So, she's really blaming the Germans!
Thanks for that Snooki pic. This site needed some class and decorum today.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
- Yogi Berra
When I say mentally ill,I don't mean clinical depression or some other legitimate problem beyond her control. I mean more along the lines of what GG said. Any problems she has are fully self inflicted. I just mean she's more fucked up than I realized. And I've thought she's been pretty fucked up for a while.
OK easy enough to check, Accident investigation will go all over that car. If the brakes are fine expect TMZ to drop a couple bucks in the right hands and get the report which will be proof the bitch is a lying ass douche nozzle
Submitted by mike on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 10:54pm.
Submitted by kate773 on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 10:35pm.
I'm inclined to agree with both of you. She definitely has an overinflated sense of self and entitlement, but I can see where mental illness could cone into play--narcissistic, borderline personality. She's just hot mess. The thing with Lindsay is that she has the capacity to be a good actress (don't laugh), but gets in her own way.plus, she has an enabling 'mother' and lunatic father.
Submitted by kate773 on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 10:35pm.
No offense, but to my mind this story reinforces my feeling that she's horribly irresponsible and in possession of a gross sense of entitlement. I don't even believe she's a drug addict (someone can abuse drugs without having a true physical addiction).
GG, I second that.
she is a spoiled fucking drug addicted brat, who makes excuses for everything.
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You'll never be a man
No matter how many foreign bodies you can take
You'll never be a man
-Elvis Costello
kate, she isn't mentally ill, but her brain has been eatten up by coke and other drugs.
If the brakes failed or any other source that was truly not her fault wouldn't she be sueing like a monsoon by now?
If this story is true, then I'm finally convinced she has true, serious mental problems. Up to now I just chalked her shit up to being an entitled, spoiled drug addict. But if she is honestly trying to pull another excuse for this without taking an ounce of responsibility for anything, including just flat out making shit up for the 100th time and thinking one single solitary soul believes her, then this is a more troubled girl than I ever imagined.
She needs to get with sheen and form an addiction denial support group. I am sure she believes what she is saying, for what that's worth.
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 10:15pm.
I shall stand beside you. I have never taken pics like these either. Or allowed anyone to take them of me.
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You'll never be a man
No matter how many foreign bodies you can take
You'll never be a man
-Elvis Costello
This trick again. /sigh
I'm guessing she's really tooooooo stoopid to know that cars have computers now...especially this Porsche? Said black box will have recorded if the brakes failed and has no doubt already been on the machine in the shop at the DOT - because, you know, this truck driver *could* lose his CDL over this. Fucking trick, put her ass in jail before she kills someone.
doncorleone: HAHAHAHHA. EVERYONE GET ON YOUR KNEES! There are plenty of wiser women here than me, yo.
She's crying wolf. Always does. Or, maybe she's right this time. But who knows? The truck driver has more credibility with me.
Submitted by mike on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 9:46pm.
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 9:19pm.
Submitted by mike on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 8:43pm.
Submitted by Provolone on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 8:39pm.
You want off-topic?
Here is one of Snookie's uncensored NSFW nude shots
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I just don't understand people who take photos like this. completely alien to me.
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Really, I think it's almost the norm to have nude self-pics nowadays, with digital cameras and phone cameras.
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well, I don't have any ! nor will there ever be any. (͡๏̯͡๏)
but then, I'm abbynormal. or so I've been told. so there ya go..
Submitted by louise_brooks on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 9:01pm.
Lucky you! I wish! On a good day, I'm 5'4". Everyone thought I was going to be tall. I was always the tallest girl in elementary school, but once I turned 12, I stopped growing. My ex was 5'11 and our beautiful girl is about 5'9", so thank God she took after him in the height department.
On a side note, Snooki's snatch was something I could've lived my life not seeing.
mike, good for you darlin. Don't give in to the peer pressure.
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You'll never be a man
No matter how many foreign bodies you can take
You'll never be a man
-Elvis Costello
Submitted by crazyinjapan on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 9:59pm.
Mike: So if this is the norm, does that mean you have some nekkid meat photos for us????
I do have photos, but they will not be shared on here. Sorry.
I believe her. She has an honest, albeit freckled face.
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Please: It's "rahnday."
Mike: So if this is the norm, does that mean you have some nekkid meat photos for us????