Things That Exist: The Taxidermy Caticopter
Several of you sent this mess to me today and as I was reading about this Chuck Testa-approved art project I slowly laughed until my laughs turned into dry heaves. Oh, the fuckery produced by the human brain never ceases to amaze me.
When Orville, a cat belonging to Dutch artist Bart Jansen, got hit by a car and died, he wasn't cremated and poured into a wooden box like most cats. Bart looked at Orville's dead body and somehow decided to turn his beloved cat friend into a hovercraft pussy. I'm guessing that when Bart's brain barfed up that thought, his mouth was placed firmly on a bong full of PCP-laced weed. Or maybe Bart was just high on art, because art is a helluva drug on its own.
The L.A. Times said that Bart used his hands to attach a propeller to each one of Orville's paws and not once did he think he should use his hands for something more productive. You know like slapping the shit out of himself for turning his dead cat's body into a flying toy. After Bart finished his creation called the Orvillecopter (file that under: things I can't with), he debuted it at the KunstRai ArtFair in Amsterdam. Bart said that this what Orville would've wanted, because what cat wouldn't want to be soaring through the sky with the birds?
"After that he received his wings posthumously. Now he is flying with the birds. The greatest goal a cat could ever reach!"
Orville doesn't look like he's happy to be flying through the sky with the damn birds. Orville looks terrified. Like he just got hit by a car. Oh wait. I don't even know what to write about this. Is turning your dead cat into a working helicopter as crazy as turning a dead bear into a rug? Yes. Does Orville give a shit about this? Probably not, but that doesn't make it right or okay. Think of all the tiny birds who are having tiny bird heart attacks over seeing the last sign of their rapture: an overlord hovercat. Birds are doomed when pussies can fly.
I'm making a vow that if my dog kisses the mouth of the Grim Reaper before me, I will not turn his body into a helicopter. Flying is a physical activity and my lazy dog is allergic to every physical activity, so I will not disrespect him like that. I'll turn him into a sofa pillow instead. And if I go first, he can turn me into a bacon dispenser. See, we respect each other!
• 
It's funny as hell, people who complain are too simple to grasp that the cat was hit by a car not killed by him and that taxidermy has been around for a while now..at least this is much cooler than a mantel piece.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
I think it's cool. My 7 yo DD said "HaHa that's awesome. He looks like he's flying like an airplane."
We did go see the Rogue Taxidermy exhibit two weeks ago. This is nowhere as weird as that. Well maybe just weird.
Single most sick strange thing, I wonder if Orville is cussing out his asshole owner, I know I would.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 12:25pm.
Submitted by MahatMaCoat on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 6:03am.
I am going to commission Bart to turn my dog Clive into a wine chiller with handy glass holder/salt and vinegar crisps storage combo. Although, he isn't dead yet so he might object...
LOL! I say go for it.
ok! I shall organise another limb to hold a wine glass for you - poor Clive! :-) x
***************
Certified Slore
Submitted by doncorleone on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 1:58pm.
Let's do this to Blohan when she croaks (soon, please God)
Ho Ho, that would be great, but what kind of kitchen utensil/garden furniture could she be transformed/improved into? Maybe the spatula that scrapes the smegma off the bbq after a long summer weekend? Lord knows her hands could tackle it...
***************
Certified Slore
This is disgusting and fucking sick!
Let's do this to Blohan when she croaks (soon, please God)
Submitted by MahatMaCoat on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 6:03am.
I am going to commission Bart to turn my dog Clive into a wine chiller with handy glass holder/salt and vinegar crisps storage combo. Although, he isn't dead yet so he might object...
LOL! I say go for it.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."
Well I'm going to hell, because this is giving me all kinds of bong filled PCP-laced weed giggles
Guess there's now 102 things...
Asswipe. Hope there's a special seat in hell for this moron.
_____________________________________________________
"Going to Burger King to eat healthy is like going to a prostitute for a hug." Dlister Supah 8.20.11
This is just so fucking wrong, it's not even funny.
********************************************
I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
Mhm, I can't divide myself in pure soul on the one hand, and body on the other. I'm both, so I do care about my body and what happens to it when I'm dead. I might not get what is happening, but it would make dying a lot easier if I could be sure that my human remains will be treated with dignity and that they won't rip everything of use from my body while I'm still alive.
Maybe I should just turn the table and give a shit about my body and already start to sell my organs, so I would give a shit if they throw my body on a garbage dump.
I'll think about that.
flying pussy??!! i'm done...
_____________________________________________
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
i guess he hated his cat. i couldnt bare to see my dog like that
I am going to commission Bart to turn my dog Clive into a wine chiller with handy glass holder/salt and vinegar crisps storage combo. Although, he isn't dead yet so he might object...
***************
Certified Slore
Yey - Michael k read my email tip! Mind you, knowing how a lot of people's minds work here, I imagine he received a shitload xxx
***************
Certified Slore
fortunately for orville, he was dead before his owner mutilated his body for 'art'. look up tom otterness - in 1977 he shot & killed a dog for an 'art' film.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 1:32am.
i love your country so much for inventing speculoos.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 1:47am.
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 1:49am.
Thank you for seeing my glass half full, you guys! ♥
*restarts work on hovercraft Bart*
--------------------------------------------------------
Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 1:57am.
Skating and hot choco? Why not? We have a very informed local who could guide us.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."
RandéS, we could do some research into that, no? To be accurate... lol
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
Jesus, what a fucking loon.
Suddenly, being eaten by a zombie doesn't seem so bad.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 1:47am.
Mickey, Something tells me you're leaving some good things out! *Gouda* *hot soccer team* *the Old Dutch Masters* *tulips* *clogs* *cows* ;D
*houses that tilt over the canals* *skating to work* *legal prost--err, a strong economy*
* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."
Mickey, Something tells me you're leaving some good things out! *Gouda* *hot soccer team* *the Old Dutch Masters* *tulips* *clogs* *cows* ;D
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 1:32am.
I knew it!! hahaha
* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."
Well, you have all seen the Fokken twins and now Bart Jansen, so my secret is out. The Netherlands are not really a country. In reality I live in an asylum that harbours 17.000.000 mentally unstable souls with a phonological handicap called 'Dutch'.
.........................................................
Who are you calling silly cow?
RandéS, hehehe come on now, you're being modest there, I know!! Seriously, that was funny! ;P
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
OK, y'all, if you wish to get technical, it is officially called the Netherlands. Ha! And I wondered, too, what Mickey would think about this. Probably horrified, like everybody else. It is horrifying; "It's not Wright," like Rande' said (that was a good one). But I can't help it, it makes me lol! I'm picturing a helidog chasing the helicat chasing a helimouse in some sort of demonic tournament, remote controlled by sociopathic Dutch artists.
Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 12:55am.
hahaha. *sipping wine innocently*
* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."
Wowlie, RandéS is on a roll... First flying Wright, now water dykes... ;p
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 12:50am.
Whaaaa? The place with all the dykes?
* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."
Submitted by RandéSleepover on Tue, 06/05/2012 - 12:47am.
I need to hear Mickey Holland's take on this. (Amsterdam is part of Dutch, right?)
* * * * * * * * * * *
Amsterdam is a city in Holland. : )
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 05/30/2012 - 10:59am.
I was a skinny, pink preemie. I looked like an earthworm until I was two months old.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl, is ready to PARTAY!!!
I need to hear Mickey Holland's take on this. (Amsterdam is part of Dutch, right?)
* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."
I could never ever do that to my cat. :(
Well, along the same lines, when I die I am pretty sure I won't give a shit what is done with my wrinkly skinned body. If there is no afterlife I won't even know, if there is an afterlife, I won't care cause I will have a new body or exist as thought only or some such.
So, by the same token, I don't think the cat minds one bit. If there was a feline afterlife, the cat may enjoy all the attention his old carcass is getting.
I do agree that it is a bit disturbing, but its nice to see the occasional piece of offensive art that isn't simply a rudeness to christianity.
Anyway, those folks in europe are pretty serious about their art, so this may end up with some sort of nobel prize.
Caramel!!! Oh lord...for some reason I started reading about that psycho in Canada, then that story led me to to reading about these freaks in Russia that went on a killing spree a few yrs ago, and taped the murders. Me, being the idiot that I am, decided to watch the snuff video 'three guys and a hammer.' I wish I could unsee the horror and take some pills that would make me forget. Insane.
www.poopreport.com :)
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
This guy. I am so disgusted.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 06/04/2012 - 9:19pm.
Crazyinjapan: Sorrow! The dog was called "Sorrow". Oh how I loved that book.
_______________
Yup. Only, haha, Sorrow was a dog who floated in the ocean rather than a cat who can fly in the sky.
John Irving was da bomb in the 80s.
I read about this first thing this morning. So many bowls of creepy, hell-to-the-fuck-no.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
imcuteifyouredrunk, maybe the kitty cat will malfunction and shoot straight for his head one of these days! Knock him out flat, hahaha
•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░
The term "WTF?" doesn't even BEGIN to cover this. So, a bacon dispenser, like PEZ?
I find this very disrespectful to the cat. I would NEVER do this to one of my pets. Obviously the man did not value his pet very much to turn him into a toy and an opportunity to cash in and get some attention.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Horrifying. But reminds me of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVFDlg4pbwM
* * * * I HEART CAVEMEN & DEXTER & DAMON * * * *
Oh, for Christ's sake, people are idiots. And he's checking to see if the cat is 'warm' because he obviously knows that Poor Pussy can overheat and burst into flames...yep, already smashed by a car, and now this. It never ends -
Can I quit this planet, pls?
Though my cat is just a cat, I see him as my equal. When he passes, I want him to have the best resting place there is and not be turned into some flying mockery.
I will have nightmares now.
This almost made me cry. When my cat got hit by a car, I was completely devastated. This is painfully disrespectful and this guy should be hurt. A lot.
O_o
No. Words.
I wish MK had not posted this, it's getting play all over the internet along with the story of the killer in Canada who got his start posting videos of himself torturing kittens.
I work in a shelter and unfortunately see the sick things people do to animals. When people find this stuff "hilarious" it only makes things worse.
This guy's cat met a violent end and he turns it into a joke?
Hilarious.
So many shades of wtf...
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11