Monday, May 28th 2012

Reunited And It Feels So Eh

The newest (not really) trend in the City of Shiny Money-Grubbin' Tramps is to break up and then HINT that you might be reconciling. Do it at someone's birthday party! Or do it on stage during the finale of your reality show! Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony, and her gigantic buttocks came together in Las Vegas for the live finale of their reality show - Q'Viva! The Chosen. I love that title. It sounds like they're going to save the world from Loki, but do it in a very telenovela dramatic cunt way with hair-flipping, insanity eyes, paternity reveals, and lots of men being tape-gagged. I'm not being pervy, every telenovela I've seen there's a dude with his mouth taped. Univision is kinky.

Hold up. I just checked out the show's website, and who is the caramel sauce that needs to be on my vanilla sundae? He's Jamie King and he's worked with pop music's finest. He was the one responsible for Old Lady Madge at the Superbowl! Did he choreograph the part where her gout made her stumble on those bleachers? Nevertheless - hi Jamie! I need something choreographed. It involves our penises.

Back to the boring part. J. Lo and vampire made them gasp, scream, and shit when the two judges strode out near the end and hugged and held hands. This could be a humanitarian effort on Jennifah's part. Marc is down to bones and dust and needs to feed on her curvy parts to revitalize himself. It's only right. He is the father of her children (not that Casper one).

Check out the pics of their "reunion" in the gallery. If I was one of those "body language experts" (is that a full-time job?) from In Touch or some other pamphlet, I would translate this as "thinly disguised hatred but sharing an addiction to attention."

WENN

Posted by: J. Harvey


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Das ist ein Dreck's picture

Fatsolita & Gauntalez

--
Do you want a banana?
No i don't wanna

Gardening Girl's picture

Ugh...these pendejos still?

Hockey fan's picture

And I'm *sure* those thighs are a size 4, right?
(Maybe ONE of them is.)

Hockey fan's picture

Submitted by Big Bertha on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 6:39pm.

They need to perform in Branson, it's the level of their talent

^^^^^^^
Hey hey hey, don't bring Branson down to this level of douchebaggery.

LOL

On the geek side, I seriously saw Donny Osmond perform once (not at Branson) bc my sister dragged me...and I must say, the man is fucking talented as shit. He can play every instrument known to man, and he even covered a Sly Stone song. He was very impressive. Yeah, he does Vegas with his sister and his bros are in Branson, but they are one fucking talented family. No joke.

Stan Hooper's picture

hi Jamie! I need something choreographed. It involves our penises.

BWAAAAAA!!! J. Harvey now has me thinking of synchronize penises swim for the summer olympics! LOL!

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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie

letinstar's picture

somewhere off in the distance is a duck quacking sadly...
_____________________________________________
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr

Jeanneee's picture

Call me naive, but it's not completely unheard-of for exes to remain friendly and caring. My own mom and dad have been divorced/happily remarried to second spouses for decades, and they still talk, email, and even hang out sometimes, sans weirdness. Having a lengthy (by Hollywood standards) marriage, kids together, plus mutual career interests to promote, can be powerful motivators to put hurt feelings aside and focus on being friends. Just sayin.

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*tosses a bag of hot dicks into Jeanneee's trough* BON APPETIT BITCH! - Raul Duke, 1/26/11

cake coke and cock's picture

I enjoy this Harvey character. C'est tout.

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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.

Every single time I see this JLo trick all I can think of is: YOU WERE A FLY GIRL, get over yourself!

LOLOLOLOLOL!

Grace Disful's picture

¡Ayudame!

I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.

crazyassmom's picture

Submitted by literarylioness on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 5:07pm.
"40 is not just a number! You'll notice your lower back and
knees are not quite what they use to be."
--------
You'll also notice your boobs and ass are not quite *where* they used to be either. =p
(edit).

====================
Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.-Michael K.

literarylioness's picture

Submitted by Scott in NYC on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 7:16pm.
I love JLo as a glam fashionista but she basically has no soul and lives & breathes for attention and money...which is sad because I think she has genuine talent (shut up). I hope she doesn't go the same sad, tragic route as Madonna by desperately clinging to what she once was instead of moving on. Has anyone ever suggested that Marc Anthony is anorexic? He sure looks like it!
___________________________________________________
Skeletor is a coke head. He can't stop sniffling. Oddly enough, he was the best part of their crapfest show. He was pretty funny and gave good comments.

Scott in NYC's picture

I love JLo as a glam fashionista but she basically has no soul and lives & breathes for attention and money...which is sad because I think she has genuine talent (shut up). I hope she doesn't go the same sad, tragic route as Madonna by desperately clinging to what she once was instead of moving on. Has anyone ever suggested that Marc Anthony is anorexic? He sure looks like it!

Slutleena's picture

Que Viva was on Fox local stations but at odd hours.

==========================================
"MY FAVORITE CEREAL IS LIFE! AND I GOT IT; AND I LIVED!!!"
Got 2B Real : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRHIwO_tE34&feature=relmfu

She Stinks's picture

This show bombed, because she is on it. She's just so fucking untalented and gross, I can't stand it.

She Stinks!

Big Bertha's picture

They need to perform in Branson, it's the level of their talent

_______________________________________________
"We all too often have socialism for the rich and rugged free market capitalism for the poor" -- MLK Jr., 1964

Does this show only come on in Puerto Rico because I've never seen or heard of it. Sounds like it's horrible based on the comments.

literarylioness's picture

Their show was shit! It put me to sleep one Saturday night. All I saw was JBlow changing clothes. She was in a different outfit in every take.

40 is not just a number! You'll notice your lower back and knees are not quite what they use to be.

Dion flowerboy's picture

She's just waiting for Garfleck to divorce. Marc Anthony is a corpse.

Slutleena's picture

I tried to watch Que Viva during a late night marathon and it was the most jumbled, unfocused, monstrosity of a reality talent show I'd ever seen.

==========================================
"MY FAVORITE CEREAL IS LIFE! AND I GOT IT; AND I LIVED!!!"
Got 2B Real : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRHIwO_tE34&feature=relmfu

Cara's picture

Marc Anthony looks like a chihuahua. I think it's the eyes.

iHeartHaters's picture

No fun at all unless the cops, paramedics & fire department were called.

~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~

FANTA FANTA, NO COKE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE

Meat Loaf was in the middle of a show when his knees suddenly hit the stage floor like a narcoleptic bat out of hell ~MK

iloveloureed's picture

Jlo is so pathetic and transparent. I don't understand her stardom at all- she was okay as a fly-girl, but that's it. Her whole schtick has gone on for long enough. Can we have some real talent please?

MizRo's picture

Just stop the JHore shit, please. She's offending all my senses: eyes, ears; shilling, "judging","performing".
Can't take much more!

WTFOMGLOL's picture

.

She looks like she is constipated.

Bjork You's picture

Nothing makes an ex feel better, fucking fantastic, than seeing that their ex is dating someone fugly.

RandéSleepover's picture

Submitted by kanderso on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 11:59am.

How was she ever married to him, much less doing the nasty with him???

There's that rumor about his salchicha grande...

* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."

parissucksliterally's picture

I liked when they were together. We saw a lot less of her. Now she is everywhere again, and shoving that ugly boyfriend of hers down our throats!

**********************************************
And you decorated my life, created a world where dreams are apart
And you decorated my life by painting your love all over my heart
You decorated my life

WithinReason...'s picture

NO to insomniac vultures, NO to ring-chasing sugar mommies, NO to this reunion! ;p

•-•-•-•-•-•
"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
░░░░♬♣☺♪◘☼♥♫•♩♦≈♠░░░░

kanderso's picture

How was she ever married to him, much less doing the nasty with him???

I know everyone is like "oh, in some countries, Skeletor is considered the sex!" but COME ON! All I see is an undead anorexic creep. And say what you will about J Lo, but a lot of men find her attractive. I don't know why she chose to marry and spawn with this weirdo.

*thinks about J Lo's other husbands* OK, clearly, she has the worst taste in men EVER.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen

You got the last part right, jlo's taste in man is atrocious. Girl has no standard and it just reached a new low with this backup dancer, at least Marc Anthony has talent.

Whamo's picture

Submitted by Dog on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 11:12am.

Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 11:11am.

Submitted by Dog on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 10:38am.

Just a number, right?

*buys new tires for Hoveround*
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It's just a number baby, trust me :) :P

Dog's picture

Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 11:11am.

Submitted by Dog on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 10:38am.

Getting there. Hitting the Big Four-O soon and I wanna be ready, baby!
==============================================
The 40 isn't so bad, just keep at it and you'll be fine.

^^^^^^^^^^^^

Just a number, right?

*buys new tires for Hoveround*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Whamo's picture

Submitted by Dog on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 10:38am.

Getting there. Hitting the Big Four-O soon and I wanna be ready, baby!
==============================================
The 40 isn't so bad, just keep at it and you'll be fine.

Dog's picture

Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 10:37am.

Submitted by Dog on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 10:25am.
==============================================
WOW you sound like you'd have some damn fine stamina, lol!! :P

^^^^^^^^^^

Getting there. Hitting the Big Four-O soon and I wanna be ready, baby!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Whamo's picture

Submitted by Dog on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 10:25am.
==============================================
WOW you sound like you'd have some damn fine stamina, lol!! :P

Gardening Girl's picture

They have a show? Wow, people will watch ANYTHING!

Dog's picture

Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 10:23am.

Submitted by Dog on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 10:12am.

Whamo, if we lived any further east we'd be in the Atlantic!

The guy whose cardio-kick classes I take gives private sessions and mine is at noon, which is why I haz to wait. Booooo!
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:) good stuff!! how long are the classes?

^^^^^^^^^^

Classes are an hour each - first Zumba or Piloxing, then cardio-kick. The private sessions are 30 mins or an hour. He's a sensei in a couple of martial arts disciplines. He also teaches boxing and (obviously) martial arts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Whamo's picture

Submitted by Dog on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 10:12am.

Whamo, if we lived any further east we'd be in the Atlantic!

The guy whose cardio-kick classes I take gives private sessions and mine is at noon, which is why I haz to wait. Booooo!
============================================
:) good stuff!! how long are the classes?

RandéSleepover's picture

Submitted by joe shmoe on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 10:16am.

I've given it the thought it deserves: very little. Very slow day at the office: it's closed.

* * * * * * * * * * *
Please: It's "rahnday."

Craigypants's picture

This has all the signs of a put up job.
I still don't know who buys their shit and watch their shows. They are beyond pathetic.
Next stop; Chilli cook off's and county fairs.

joe shmoe's picture

Submitted by RandéSleepover on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 9:39am.
(1) Who has the bigger ass: J-Lo or Kardashian? (2) Who is more tolerable? (3) Which one will still be annoying us in ten years?

I'd say (1) really tough call, but maybe Kardashian; (2) neither is tolerable but possibly J-Lo, since she has some actual talent; and (3) praying earnestly for neither, but perhaps J-Lo, in the way that Paula Abdul has survived well past her sell-by date.

*********

I can see you've given this a lot of serious thought Randé. Slow day at the office? :P

************

Dog's picture

Whamo, if we lived any further east we'd be in the Atlantic!

The guy whose cardio-kick classes I take gives private sessions and mine is at noon, which is why I haz to wait. Booooo!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Whamo's picture

Submitted by Dog on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 9:58am.

Submitted by Whamo on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 9:56am.

Submitted by Dog on Mon, 05/28/2012 - 9:39am.
^^^^^^^^^

Today is the first truly sunny day we've had since last week, so it will be enjoyed. I just wish it was 11:30 so I could leave for the gym already. I wanna get dis day started, yo!
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You're on the east coast aren't you? We've have crazy hot weather here, 30 degree days in May is pretty unusual around here. As well we've had very very little rain, peoples grass is starting to get browned out already.

Do you have a class of some type is that why you have to wait till 11:30?