Hot Slut Of The Day!
Inkhosikati LaMbikiza, the First Lady of Swaziland and every Muppet’s new style icon! I’m sure you’re reading this with your eyes peering over the edge of your desk up at your monitor, because as soon as you gazed at this royal confection of chiffon meringue, you dropped to your knees and bowed before this sea foam opulence. Stay bowing, because none of us are worthy of this kind of luxurious style. Or maybe you’re on your knees, because it’s WAY too early for this and you’re hiding under your desk.
In traditional Swazi culture, the King of Swaziland must have several wives, one from each clan, and each wife usually has her own role in the royal family. King Mswati III’s third wife, Inkhosikati LaMbikiza (whose name means, “You wish you had it like this, la bitches!“) is seen as the face of the royal family and she’s usually the one who represents her country at international events. AND HOW! By day, Inkhosikati looks like Oda Mae Brown going to Easter Sunday service and by night, she looks like the Barbie cake knock-off your auntie made using a doll from the 99 Cent Store.
At the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee in England last week, Inkhosikati put THE QUEEN and Duchess Kate in their style places by showing up looking like she was styled by a Toddlers & Tiaras failed pageant queen on the wrong kind of Go-Go Juice. Inkhosikati wore a gown that I can only describe as “shower puff bukkake” and heels that showed us you only need a hot glue gun and the head of a Fraggle to achieve new levels of elegance.
With all that being said, Inkhosikati will never hold a candle to Chantal Biya. No, I mean that literally. Chantal always has a team of candle blowers around her at all times, because she does not empty 8 cans of AquaNet into her hair so it can go down in flames. Bitches aren’t even allowed to fart around her flammable mane of glamour.
And while I looked for pictures of Inkhosikati, I came across my new favorite picture of all-time:
Control, copy, paste it into an email and send it off to my nearest tattoo shop, because I need this inked onto my back.