Hot Sluts Of The Day!
Man Candles brought to you by the store and catalog company that fills your nostrils with the scent of baked goods, flower farts and fresh laundry. Yankee Candles is now trying to lure in dudes with their new line of Mandles that includes scents like "Riding Mower," "First Down," "2 X 4" and "Man Town." Doesn't John Travolta's b-hole already own the trademark for the name "Man Town"? I smell a lawsuit in a candle jar. Make that TWO lawsuits.
I totally get that the manliest manly men of Man Town will never buy a candle that smells like freshly baked cookies since it'll turn them into a woman (obviously), but those kind of dudes will never buy a candle no matter what it smells like. So Yankee Candle is doing this all wrong and should change everything. I mean, "Riding Mower"? Didn't The Gap do the "fresh cut grass" scent centuries ago? "2 X 4"? That sounds like the Small Penis Society's official scent.
If YC really wants their Mandles to sell, they need the following scents: "Dirty Jockstrap Hanging Over a Locker Room Bench," "Cum Rag," "Sweaty Armpit in August," "Glory Hole Delights," "Tea Bagging" and "Salad Tosser Breath."
Just think of all the money Yankee Candles would make from all the dirty dudes who type "worn used athletic socks" in the eBay search bar. Try again, YC!
(Thanks, Simon and Lee)
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Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 10:25am.
"Dad Is Not Good at Wiping"
*dies*
YC's headquarters are about a 15-minute drive from where I grew up. Worked in their warehouse during a summer break from college.
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"Taylor has an unfair advantage. Bitch never has to buy lube since her eyes are greasier than the peen of the lone top at a gay orgy." - MK
I want a candle that smells like a newly opened box of cigarettes! I love that smell.
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The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl, is ready to PARTAY!
Your worst classroom nightmare is THE TEACHER!
I wanna play! How 'bout MILDEWED SHOE?!! As repped by my student in the first row...***pro-keds game proper**
Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 2:20pm.
Chlamydia
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*HURLS*
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Chlamydia
Shotgun Wedding
Jail Bait
Dutch Oven
Dirtstar
Times Square subway station
5 perfume elevator
soccer socks
Wicked funny comments on this thread.
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I can't deal with this commotion.
Submitted by Few Words on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 11:06am.
mmmmm...more ideas:
dirty sanchez
pussy farts
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"Smell My Finger"
"Booger Oogie Oogie"
"Mustache Rides"
Hilarious thread! Dead on MK, a marketing fail! Depending on where Man Town is:
Him for her: Sure Thing, The Big V, The Big A, Steak Fajitas, Chicken Wings, Cold Beer
Him for him: Groin, Hard, The Big A aka Starfish, Lube, Meat Tenderizer, Gym
Others: Mystery, Intrigue, Splendid, The Big A
LOL one can "nominate a member" to the Small Penis Society based in Vegas, of course! ;D
Ftr, Jockstrap = winner! hahahahahaha
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"CAUTION: Delusion ahead." MK
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I ♥♥♥ Yankee Candle's Leather air freshener for the car, and have been waiting for the candle version, but haven't seen it. THAT shit, I will buy them out, before it gets discontinued.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 10:18am.
"Dad's Warm Breath" (for sucky)
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LOLOLOL!
"Tuna salad" (for Mrs.Patrick Campbell)
Omg, "The small penis society cares." A-fucking-mazing slogan.
Submitted by Few Words on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 11:34am.
Because nothing could make you happier than the smell of bitch ex wife or nag burning? What the fuck would that even smell like? Freedom/ happiness?
Can't wait for childhood delights such as black marker and gas fumes. Some faves when I was younger.
Personally, I no longer burn candles - two incidences made it not worth it.
This sounds so stupid. You can already buy candles in scents that guys like. My boyfriend doesn't buy candles, but he likes some of mind. I have Pine, Coffee, and Leather scented candles.
"bitch ex wife"
"Nag"
make those and ill buy a damn case.
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by Smells Like Tea... on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 11:10am.
Whamo, I think you need to be gay to appreciate the man candles.
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LOL, I guess so!
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Submitted by Few Words on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 11:10am.
WHAMO: my closet is a shrine to suckyfucky & i burn candles next to lock of his pube hair.
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Well as long as you're not burning his pube hair I guess.lol!!
I'm surprised a lot of people in here are very familiar with the smell of ass. :P
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We are all made of stars.
make tits & ass candle. hell yea.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 11:09am.
Smells Like Tea... your avie has me hypnotized
Why thank you, snowpiece. It's "Smells Like Team Cunty" by the by. My name got cut off.
MK you are such a funny slut!
LOVED this post.
WHAMO: my closet is a shrine to suckyfucky & i burn candles next to lock of his pube hair.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Whamo, I think you need to be gay to appreciate the man candles.
Smells Like Tea... your avie has me hypnotized
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Demeter has been doing the weird shitty scents for years:
http://www.demeterfragrance.com/
NOT original, Yankee Doodle Dumb fucks with a wick.
Like a lot of thing that make my brain hurt trying to figure you ladies out, what is is with you guy's and candles anyway? I don't know single guy who looks forward to getting home lighting candles and at taking a bath..lol!! I mean WTF?
mmmmm...more ideas:
dirty sanchez
pussy farts
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Yankee Candle could make a candle called "ASS" and some idiot would buy it.
Side note: Their banana nut bread candle actually does smell like ass.
those are twenty six motherfucking dollars up in here. fuck that.
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Sir, you killed your date? What in the name of Phil Spector happened?
A scented candle called 'Man Town.' I'm going to be giggling about this all day. Sometimes I have the brain of an 8 year old boy.
I'm pretty sure the only Mandle that Mr. Detective LaToya would be interested in could be described as "Pull My Finger."
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"You are fucking bitches, this is my prom!"
These candles are already up my butt.
Kidding. ;)
They need to make alcohol scented candles. I once bought a foundation because it smelled like pina colada. What's better than sniffing alcohol when getting ready for work?
*sniffs foundation*
It's never too late to be who you might have been.
~George Eliot~
Sucky...hahahahahaha. *on the floor*
Submitted by NonnyMouse: "God forbid we leave even the tiniest space not ponged up with stench."
THIS ^^
My sister is one of those people. I can't even tell you. She has air fresheners in her car's cigarette lighter socket, on the rearview mirror and in THE TRUNK. Every electrical outlet in her apartment has those scented oil thingies. Every drawer has scented lining paper. Every surface has a scented candle. She wears a buttload of perfume.
The only farts that smell worse than hers were by my old man boss who had Crohn's disease. Maybe that's why.
Sucky's Dad's Asscrunch FTW!!!!
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 10:25am.
"Dad Is Not Good at Wiping"
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fuckin oloollllllllllooollllllllllo!!
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
lol sucky!!! *dies*
LMFAO Snowphat and Jack!!!!
(also SweetASS's "your sister")
*chanting as always*
Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 10:18am.
"Dad's Warm Breath" (for sucky)
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YES YES YES!!
"Dad's Summer Garlic Sweat"
"Dad's Moist Socks"
"Dad Is Not Good at Wiping"
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Smegma Surprise
Stale Urine
Fermented Pig Ear (<--- applies to dog who buried pig ear in garden, forgot it for a month, dug it up and brought it inside. Shit was VILE)
Pimple Cheese
Submitted by luvsmekitty: "If YC really wanted their candles to sell, they wouldn't make them so GD expensive."
For REAL! The last time I was in one of those places, the small candles, the SMALL ones were the only thing I'd buy. (That was like 12 years ago, too).
That's the kind of stuff I stopped spending money on a looooong time ago.
Anyway, I can't burn candles because I have three kids in a small apartment and I don't like the dark smudge it leaves on the ceiling above where the candle is burning.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 10:18am.
"Dad's Warm Breath" (for sucky)
ahahahahahhaahahahahahah
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
If YC really wanted their candles to sell, they wouldn't make them so GD expensive.
And also, what a fucking dumb idea.
Hahaha omg you guys I'm glad I'm home and don't have to herniate myself trying not to laugh!
Why don't they make candles guys really want?
One Night Stand
Sports Car
Rich Bitch
Submitted by jack-n-the-: " "Dad's Warm Breath" (for sucky)"
YOU WIN!
The only time Mr. Hekki walks into a room and says "Oh, it smells good in here!" is when he walks into the kitchen and I'm cooking chili or bacon, or baking snickerdoodles.
He hates the smell of candles and shit.
"Dad's Warm Breath" (for sucky)
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"It's no mystery that ass has always been tits' greatest enemy. It's almost like a Muslim-Jewish thing, but with tits and ass." ~ Kenny Powers
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 05/17/2012 - 9:58am.
"Beer"
"Panty Pudding"
"Roofied Blond"
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LOL@the last one!
*clutches pearls*
YOU GUYS ARE NASSSSSSSSSSTY
*voms*
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I'm jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo - Blanche Devereaux
If my hubby gets into a candle it is vanilla. He would give us major side eye if we gave him a candle as a gift. Lame.