Open Post: Hosted By JLo’s Cock Cup

February 29, 2012 / Posted by:

V Magazine should hand hug their butt cheeks something special today, because they’ve earned it. They have achieved the impossible by finding the secret ingredient in making a JLo photo shoot more than tolerable: a red patent leather diaper with an extra hung cock up! For about five seconds I completely forgot that JLo is one gigantic desperate butt cheek full of stank narcissism and saw her as a hot papi chulo with tits! This is what this bitch should’ve looked like in Enough. What a difference a pair of razor brows and a stuffed boxing diaper makes. No wonder Casper Smart quit his preschool’s hip hop dance troupe to get with JLo.

I bet JLo’s horseshoe bulge in that picture is what Ryan Seacret’s glitter hole looks like when it flares up during mating season. Speaking of Seacrest, it’s going to be awk and ward on the American Idol set when JLo strolls into his dressing room without knocking to borrow some butt numbing cream and finds him scooting all over these pictures. Toby taught Seacrest well.

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