The Butler Is In Rehab
The percentage of coochies that have been Butlere'd plummeted to record lows earlier this month and it made the makers of the morning-after pill and lube cry themselves into the fetal position over their uncertain futures. But they can all slap themselves out of it, because Gerard Butler will be released back into the wild today and hopefully his ass will be better than ever. TMZ heard through the tip line that man slut extraordinare Gerard Butler has been drying out in the House of Betty Ford for the past three weeks. Gerard has been getting treated for an addiction to pain pills and cocaine (street name: Lohan powder).
A source type says that while shooting 300 back in 2006, Gerard suffered several injuries that left him fucked up physically and he started guzzling down painkillers to deal with the pain. Gerard's addiction to dolls got really out of control after he was badly hurt while shooting the surfing movie Of Men and Mavericks in Northern California in December. Gerard realized that he was a gay husband away from becoming Neely O'Hara and so he checked into rehab. The source also says that Gerard regularly tickles his nostrils with coke dust, but his main addiction is with painkillers. Gerard is supposed to check out of Betty Ford today.
Here's hoping that Gerard curbs his addiction soon, because there's a lot of lonely and cold assholes out there that need a poking from his no-no loving finger.
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I suspect that if/when he gets clean, he'll revert to his preference - peen - and leave the poon behind.
I have scripts for a non-narcotic pain killer and muscle relaxant. I know that addiction to these meds happens a lot, but for the life of me, I have a difficult time understanding it. I have to be in a world of hurt to take them, because if I do, I am "grounded" to my apartment for 8 hours. I can't think straight, I'm drowsy as all get out, and driving a car is just not gonna happen. It pisses me off so much that I try to get by on OTC pain relievers so that I don't have to surrender my life.
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
And I would still hit Colin Farrell too. My sister always said he just looked like he rolled out of a pile of cigarettes and booze bottles---but I still would. And, Gerry too.
ooh, two UK-ers at once?? *ded*
The Butler can do me ANYTIME.
As someone who's been addicted to script drugs, I can empathize. Wishing you loads of luck Gerry, and if you need a place to chill, my GF and I would be happy to, um, welcome you. And other things.
Love me some Butler....get well soon!!!
For some reason he looks so much better with the longer hair (and facial hair). Maybe it brings some youth back to his face?
So is this part of the contribution to what made his face look like playdough? That might also be what is better about the long hair, balancing his face out.
I'm not crazy about him, but if he looked like this, with an accent, I might fall for it.
I would still hit it. Hard
I don't remember him having curly locks. Did he get a makeover in Oz?
I don't think he is as skanky as his reputation lets on really and he seems a sweet, sweet, kind soul. I hope he gets better...chronic pain management is brutal. I've been in a similar boat for the past 11 years and for 7 months, I was really relying on multiple doses of pain killers too much. Most of the time, you cannot even roll out of bed without the stuff.
Gerard can afford osteopaths, a full time acupuncturist and whatever he may need....so I hope he gets it balanced.
But how will Gerard "Sparkle, baby, sparkle!" without the dolls? :(
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"I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?" - Patrick Bateman
Those Brits/Irish/Scots/Welsh do love their drink and drugs. Hell, my avie died from coke abuse. Which blind item belongs to GB? I hope he can stay sober. It ain't easy in the circles he occupies.
Does anyone else remember him as "Attila the Hun"? OMG, that was better than porn for me.
Hope he gets well, but I don't think 3 weeks is enough.
Scotsman don't go to rehab WTF?
Yea Niver weer yur kilt again ya pansy bastard.
You'll never git a Scott to quit using drugs. They won't stop until it Kilts them.
He is perhaps the ONLY man that I have found to be attractive with facial hair. I don't know why. And yes, I would. Over and over and over again until I collapsed into a frothing, dripping wet pile of jello. *wipes forehead*
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Maybe he woke up, realized he had actually had sex with Brandi Glanville, and promptly ODed.
I kid. I hope he dries out well and stays that way, good thing he's getting help.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 4:02pm.
O Gerard, Gerard. I will train to be an addiction specialist so I can perform magic sexual treatments on you. Because you know, these people here love you but they feel like they're losin' you. So they're gonna say what they're gonna say and you're gonna say what you're gonna say and then we're done.
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LOL!!!
Except they love ya "like crazy..." ________________________________
Dark-sided!
O Gerard, Gerard. I will train to be an addiction specialist so I can perform magic sexual treatments on you. Because you know, these people here love you but they feel like they're losin' you. So they're gonna say what they're gonna say and you're gonna say what you're gonna say and then we're done.
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
Gerard is a grimy SOB who I would bang unto unconsciousness.
I knew he was an alcoholic, so he exchanged one vice for another one. I hope he gets better because he was looking pretty busted these last couple of years.
And yet, I'd still be glad to fuck him silly. Sometimes, you need a dirty penis to clear your head. *s*
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
he makes my loins weak! Dayum he is sexxaayy....would love a million random encounters with this hunk of yumminess...
He looks pretty sessy in that photo.
I love his nickname, "Spittle" ~ earned because he sprays everybody within two metres when he's talking to them. Too nasty for me.
Submitted by cokeysniffy on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 1:23pm.
Where's Mrs Patrick Campbell to weigh in on his looks/sexual orientation/Hung-or-tinymeat?????
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You just covered his entire schtick, so I guess now he can take the day off. ;)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I didn't mention "fish" though.
I didn't mention "fish" though.
SHIT ON MPC!
...'dolls'...'Neely O'Hara'...tee hee...
...this guy just oozes 'man-wh*re'...
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...'She’s a really nice person and I have great respect for her as an actress — and I think most actresses are c*nts with a capital K' - Mickey Rourke...
Poor guy, I do hope he dries out. I have had an uncle die from the bottle.
Where's Mrs Patrick Campbell to weigh in on his looks/sexual orientation/Hung-or-tinymeat?????
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 12:19pm.
This is what I hear when I see him...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c06pinaKl8o
LOL!! He sounds like Tom Cruise.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by MadgesVadge on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 12:08pm.
He's looking casket-sharp in that suit.
*****
I can't stop laughing.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
The fuck with this Hollywood excuse! As if making movies were some kind of hero's work. I have had a 20 year chronic illness that has ruined my joints and yet I have avoided addiction to pain relief meds. Rely on pills, get addicted - duh.
Cue Gerard Butler birther movement. I believed Wikipedia about him being actually Irish. Please sluts do verify. I never knew a Scot to get f'd up to deal. Don't they play golf instead?
Yes, yes I would. Then I would steal what's left of his pain meds (high speed head-ons tend to do that to you). He doesn't have to talk, shhh.... put those lips to better use.....
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 12:19pm.
This is what I hear when I see him...
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LMAO, jack! After nearly choking to death while trying not to piss myself, I added THAT GEM to my favorites. So many great quotes! "I'll be home working on a movie script", and "Believe it or not, I'm a complete catch" are two of my faves.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
I wish people would regard pain pills like heart medication or something that could liquify their insides, something not fun.
oh wait, he wasn't even in for alcohol?
well, that explains his weight loss...
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
What the hell is he going to do if he goes back home? i mean, EVERYONE in Scotland drinks.
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
No, he's Scottish!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
The Butler, Gosling, and Meyers are are particular favorites of mine currently. The eyes have it!
Eeeeevil, I remembered what you said about your own views. Most women can't do it that way (me included) but I think it's awesome you can just screw for the sake of screwing and not get all tied up in emotions and heartache yet have a relationship when you want it on YOUR terms.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Lucifer Sam fyi
Gerard Butler is Irish
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 12:17pm.
LOL! You hit the nail right on the head Dog!
This is what I hear when I see him...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c06pinaKl8o
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"wah I don't want to marry some psycho bitch!" ~ Dr. Suck N Fuck
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 12:11pm.
I'd fuck him, sober or on the wagon. He is that one guy who you have no reason to like, but do, and will fuck if he asks.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
And he will go away afterwards. MOST important for women who want no commitment!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Yep. I would too. Often and hard.
Let's get crazy let's do some coke (and pain pills), ever fuck on cocaine Nick? It's nice.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by MadgesVadge on Fri, 02/24/2012 - 12:08pm.
He's looking casket-sharp in that suit.
I very much would.
^^^LOL @ "casket-sharp"
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Douchechill!
Well it definitely explains the drastic weight loss. He's never done it for me, chunky or thin. I find the way he talks very distracting - it's like the bottom corner of his lip is stuck to his teeth.
He's never done it for me...if I'm going for the addict type...it's Robert Downey Jr all the way...now that's yummy.
Love the "Valley of the Dolls" reference in this post. To all of you youngins who've never seen that movie, I suggest you netflix it this week-end... You will howl!