Hot Slut Of The Day!
Lisa Woodman, a 28-year-old single mother of four from Worcester, West Midlands in England who has been banned from every club in her town for dressing like a sophisticated and refined young lady. Worcester: The Town That Hates Elegance!
There are many injustices in the world (examples: In-N-Out refusing to sell animal style-scented lube, the Kardashians making millions of dollars instead of sucking dirty ass for coins and leftovers in a Bangkok brothel, etc..), but one of the greatest injustices is that this 28-year-old (I had to type her natural age in twice in case you thought I was suffering from a concussion the first time I typed it) flower can't dance in a prestigious nightclub while looking like a morning shift hooker who hangs out in front of trucker bars in hopes of getting some business from drunk dudes with their beer goggles still firmly on.
Lisa tells the newspaper of the people, The Daily Mail, that all three clubs in Worcester (Mode, Tramps and Velvet) banned her after telling her that she's too old to wear the official ho shit uniform and they won't let her in until she covers up. I'm not sure I want to live in a world where a top shelf tramp like this can't get into a club named after her people. As I organize a Million Old Slut March in front of Tramps, read the plight of an English rose and be moved:
"None of the pubs give me any hassle about my outfits so why do the nightclubs have such a problem? There were teenagers and girls in their 20s wearing much more revealing outfits but they went straight in. When I asked the bouncers why me and my sister weren't allowed in, they just said 'You're too old to wear that get-up'. I couldn't believe it. I'm only 28 and still consider myself young.I always like to look sexy when I go out on the town. I split up from my partner last year and I was really upset so I had a boob job in April and got into shape going to the gym and now I just want to flaunt what I've got. I normally wear short skirts and one-piece outfits which might be revealing but never show off too much. I like my high-heel boots and mini-skirts. I've got loads of them - they usually cost between £20 and £50 but when I let my hair down, I like to look my best.
One doorman even made me walk up and down and turn around in front of people laughing at what I was wearing. I was totally in shock and really humiliated. I look after myself and I'm only 28. I just want to be treated with a bit of respect."
The problem doesn't lie in Lisa's Christian Louboutugjob boots or her Chanel: Slut Label dress, it lies in the club owners of Worcester. They know that if they let Lisa into their clubs, every girl would immediately club her boyfriend over the head with a cocktail glass, throw him over her shoulder and head for the exit door, because she knows she could never compete with this kind of modest beauty. It's sad to know that prejudice against sophisticated ladies still exists today. There's only thing for Lisa to do. She's much too much of a brilliant, untarnished diamond for Worcester to handle. She needs to move to the old ho shit mecca: HOLLYWOOD!
Hollywood doesn't only embrace graceful swans dressed like Grand Theft Auto hookers, they give them reality shows and paparazzi deals. Lisa, let the Statue of Skank Liberty, Courtney Stodden, welcome you to the promise land.
"It's sad to know that prejudice against sophisticated ladies still exists today."
Amen. sophisticated ladies need to stick together! not literally, of course. although in those outfits, they probably could...
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Whateeeeeeeveeerrrrrrrr! She look GOOD! Y'all hos just JELLIS! HOLLA!
I have to laugh to keep from crying.
Yikes! I've got 10 years on her and still get carded everywhere!
I have to laugh to keep from crying.
Yikes! I've got 10 years on her and still get carded everywhere!
Wow, I can always guess when a heaux is from the Isles just from the face.
She has a valid point, though- a skank can be a skank, no one has a right to make fun of her or treat her like shit for what she is wearing (going to back to the "asking for it" thing). Honestly what she's wearing isn't that bad either, but I speak as someone who had spent lots of time in LA and I go to goth clubs, so yeah... If her stockings were black think of how much more covered up she would seem. This is nude-stocking discrimination. She covers up like a classy lady should! Ahem.
Oh how tanning, white blonde hair & bad work outs/diets make you look like a ancient barfbag :)
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
Ho's in HOSE!!!
Self respect, ur doin it rong!
I've been to tramps and its full of cunts - and its fucking expensive for a dull shit hole.
28 my Aunt Fanny. She's lucky that the clubs in Worcester don't use Carbon-14 in their handheld body scanners and metal detector wands. They'd probably tell her to come back for Senior's Night.
The shocking thing is that some shitholes in Worcester suddenly aquired a slapperometre door policy. Thats like, cutting off the hand thats feeds you. Most shitholes up and down the Queendom require a non coat wearing (despite minus 10 degree), tits out short skirt slagtastic look. Its simply because she looks like she has fallen face down into a bag of misery.
I love the pic of her by her wardrobe on the DM website. She should just get into stripping and get the bad outfits out of her system. She might get a bit of make up help from jody Marshalike too.
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it....
more like 28 in dog years....
or just plain dog
She's 28 in British years.
LOLing hard at this and all the comments. I feel a bit bad for her- like if she got rejected from the Ivy then whatevs but something tells me that the entertainment in Worcester ain't exactly top dollar. Some lame ass bouncer in some backwater club is in no position to get snooty. But really love, you wanna be treated with respect stop dressing like a prozzie
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
there's nothing hot about this slut...
One word, ROUGH...
That old bitch has a face like prison bread.
In fairness the pictures in the article itself do make her look a little younger than the ones MK has used, but even so, she looks like a right miserable bitch and nothing like 28.
"One doorman even made me walk up and down and turn around in front of people laughing at what I was wearing."
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LOL
That face looks like 20 miles of bad road.
Submitted by rovex on Mon, 01/23/2012 - 2:20pm.
She is 28, looks 38.
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I should say if you cover her body and hair, her face looks like 48.
Plus show me a man who would not - if those eyes of hers kinda start to undress him - run faster than water through a tourist in mexico, screaming in terror.
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You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
She is 28, looks 38.
She thinks slutty whore is sexy.
Cheap-ass clothes that are trying to be sophisticated.
No effort in her hair or make-up add to the £5 hooker look.
Has 4 kids (probably different fathers and the oldest is what..12 or 13?).
Now, why wouldnt she be allowed in these clubs? (which are probably right dives themselves).
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 01/23/2012 - 9:35am.
looks like she has a hell of an overbite... and probably sounds like a man. PASS
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Re: overbite - I'll betcha anything she has less than a full set of teefs...which can make for one hell of a beej, from what I hear. Don't be so quick to pass, my friend!
Is she missing teefs, for real?
The only way she could look better if I put a paper bag over my head.
Problem solved!
She looks like a 40YO crabby, washed-up street-walker.
Skanky Olderson is trashy, not sexy, and establishments have the right to require proper attire.
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
"There were teenagers and girls in their 20s wearing much more revealing outfits but they went straight in. When I asked the bouncers why me and my sister weren't allowed in, they just said 'You're too old to wear that get-up'. I couldn't believe it. I'm only 28 and still consider myself young."
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IDK but that bolded statement leads me to believe she is lying about her age ... if she said, "other girls in their 20s" my bullshit meter would not be going off so loudly.
Just my $0.02 and I could be talking out my ass but whatever.
*takes off Detective LaToya hat*
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
You can't even wear that shit when you're stripping in the classy joints in Las Vegas!
Michael K, don't you DARE wish another wanna-be skank on the US! We've got more than our share, thankyouverymuch!
(She's 28 like Skankney Skankden is 17 and Chelsea Handler is 36!)
OOPS! Double post. (Sorry. After my rousing bout of food-poisoning this weekend, I ended up with the flu today. I'm high on Wild Turkey and Nyquil.)
Michael K, don't you DARE wish another wanna-be skank on the US! We've got more than our share, thankyouverymuch!
(She's 28 like Skankney Skankden is 17 and Chelsea Handler is 36!)
Well... she has nice legs at least?
That face is just.. wow... where the hell are her lips.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
jACK WOULD hit that.
Single mother, 4 kids, out skanking on the weekends, I am sure she lives in a government housing block like other trash. What mom would dress like this? I like to dress sexy also but this is not sexy - its at the end of that spectrum. It says I'll suck you off in the alley.
Butterface.
Do they have Fredrick's of Hollywood in England? She's wearing everything out of their catalogue from 88'.
How small were her tits before if even with implants her titties look small? Then again, anything below a D looks small to me. When you're packin DDD heats under your bra. COMEATME!
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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-
A face like a bag of spanners. A young bag of spanners, mind you.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
That is a rough looking 28. I'm calling BS on her though, I would guess it is her attitude that is keeping her from the clubs not her whore wears.
Wow. All that money spent on a boob-job (isn't that what everyone does when they split from their bf?) when she could have tried spending a fraction of it on a decent hairdresser and buying herself some deportment lessons (less with the hard-ass bitch expression and crossed arms would be nice). What a skank.
She looks like she'd rip your spleen out through your eyeballs and use it as a coaster!
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Wyle E
"understand that a slow red panda who nibbles pickles and does somersaults in the middle of a dancefloor is entertaining to a 7-year-old... " MK.
I think she looks like Fishsticks with no make up..and of course less class!
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Mon, 01/23/2012 - 11:33am.
Lol. I think if you grabbed her much more than her hair would snap!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 01/23/2012 - 11:33am.
Lol. Hello to you too!
PHM - There is noting wrong with light blonde hair nor bleached blonde hair BUT that mess on top of her head looks ragged and dry. If you grabbed it it would probably snap off in your hand!
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Mon, 01/23/2012 - 11:29am.
I am 28 with long, "straw blonde" hair.
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Wellll, hello.
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
28 is young, but she looks about 38. Plus she's unfortunate looking. Thats how they kicked her out. They didn't think 28 was old, they thought she was.
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I want you to get on them fat chubby knees and take muh manhood in to your sugarwalls!-Early Cuyler -Squidbillies-
I am 28 with long, "straw blonde" hair. And people always assume that I am younger than my real age. You bitches are so mean to the light haired girls. Having bleach blonde hair is not the worst thing ever.
But I agree, she looks like a hag.
I can sort of see her point. The dresses are tacky as all get-out, but that's pretty much what the girls around here are wearing when I see them lined up to get into the clubs.
oh yeah it was the Villa Victoria! check out this image and tell me that isn't kind of weird...
http://discoverhurley.org/tropicaliente/2010/images/jhcc-left-balcony-fl...
She's been 28 for at least 15 years.
So you get your ass in shape, the fake boobs, bleach blonde hair and the porn star outfit but you think you can be natural and skip the makeup hahaha bitch is cray!!
If. You want to look like a whore ...do it right!!
Aww don't worry there's a bar by me where it's MILF night every thursday! Whorenay!