Open Post: Hosted By Craig David And His Trainer
The good news is that Craig David (Google him, you dumb fuck!) still exists.
The better news is that Craig David tried to give us some good fap material in Miami the other day when he took off his top and flexed all of his hard veins while doing of Tommy Girl's favorite sexercise. (But Tommy is the one holding the pink rope as a naked, lubed-up Puerto Rican hustler tries to run away from him. Tommy pulls that Puerto Rican hustler right onto his Scientolopeen every time. How else did you think he got those guns?!)
The awful news is that all of these pictures are unfap-worthy because of Craig's nasty, gross, vomit-inducing foot condoms made from the devil's intestines. Mark all of these with a giant red X, pull up your pants and change your status from "away" to "available" on IM. (Tip of the day: Make sure you always set your IM status to "away" before you get into some good Internet porn, because nothing is worse than getting an IM from your mom while you're fapping away).
Who the f**k's Craig David?
He had this one song called "I am Walking Away". I did like it, and I bought the CD. I just looked him up on YouTube. He really looks incredibly different. However, it has been awhile, and men do get a harder edge to their face when they age. Who knows.
Anyway, he is not a bad singer. Never heard anything bad about him. I hate those stupid footie shoes, but that is the only crappy thing I will say!
who is this?
am I supposed to know and he's waaaay to obvious.....
I like a nice body but he looks like he spends every waking hour on preserving that look - not appealing....
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
It's so hard to build good calves...wonder how he'll do it?
wonder why MK didn't buy this no-pubes pic of him,lol:
http://img3.kalooga.com/thumbimage?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mrpaparazzi.com%...
also is it just me or does he now look like a very tan white guy?
he looked better when he was fuller, meatier:
http://people.premiere.fr/var/premiere/storage/images/public/photos-peop...
he looks like a mean veiny peen,
if you ask me he went too far with the dieting and exercise, i know, i've been there too, now i think over achieving is not healthy cause you push your body to go beyond what it can accomplish and you end up with a very aging,tired, unhealthy & hungry looking face..the body may look ripped..but the face,..it's the same like when people work all day in constructions etc..it took me a whole year of siting on my ass and eating whatever comes in sight to get back a more full, calm, fresh, relaxed face..people who are a few pounds "overweight" look healthier to me than this..being that skinny and rip only looks nice when it comes more natural for the person..
Man fuck, I was listening to CD yesterday, looking at his old album cover and thinking about how he was teetering on the fine side. And I'm now gonna pull a "Harpo, who dis be?" This nasty ass veins a popping motherfucker claiming to be CD is unrecognizable. That shit ain't cute. God, and his face, dear Lord his face. Somebody help the children.
I feel like crap tonight. I'd kill for a good stiff drink.
OK, am I the only one here that thinks Craig David looks a little methy and suffering from a slight case busted face in these photos?
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Submitted by LaChaylo on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 7:26pm.
UGH, I LOVE that W hotel and that is depressing.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
The worse I've ever encountered is seeing a pair my mom's thongs among the laundry one time, and then seeing lube when I was looking for something in her dresser, ICK.
So, I'm feeling like a Bitter Bitch Betty today seeing the mean ass stupid ho who's a manager spell ditto "dido." Stupid fucking bitch. And, to top it off, I'm perusing our local rag online, and this shit pops up: Khloe and Lamar's Delightful Dallas Home. Fuck. My. Life. I've been really depressed about how stupid my job is, and how my degrees are pretty much worthless. Nice to know bitches without an education get to live the high life, while I get to play gopher for a boss who thinks Croatia is Craotia.
Submitted by sinjin on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:47pm.
IKR?! My little drunk driver / doggy rescue video has NO fucking hope here today! :-(
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Sinjin, I posted your link on my FB page. It made me cry but thanks for sharing!
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Read Triston's Heaux-ventures as he traipses the Heaux-rient Sexpress!
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2012/01/heaux-confessionals-traispsing-t...
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl!
Yeah Mike, thanks eh. I sometimes wonder if MK has ever regretted creating the open post but shit hey, look at what we would've missed out on!!
I cert don't miss ppl telling a whore to stay on topic, unless they do it in the OP, that shit is funny. Not to mention the alt entertainment.
This thread has cracked me up more than any other thread in recent memory.
Still laughing
@Mike: you're setting the pride bar a little low, dontcha think?
Submitted by mike on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 6:18pm.
haha, my story was what touched off all these "seeing people (you don't want to see) having sex" stories.
I'm so proud.
^^^^^
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
haha! you really do look like somebody's bitch, Trainer boy! Time to reevaluate your life 'cause the choices you've made to get you here today obviously aren't working for you.
Those shoes scare me. They seem uncomfortable.
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Read Triston's Heaux-ventures as he traipses the Heaux-rient Sexpress!
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2012/01/heaux-confessionals-traispsing-t...
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Nightowl!
... and what kind of pathetic, self-loathing man would take a job training this nobody? and then let himself be photographed like this?!?
not exactly a picture to show your grandchildren and brag about what you lowered yourself to to make a buck, is it, Trainer boy?
who?
never mind, don't care.
did our E-list filter get turned off?
Hahahaha Mike! Congrats, I think. ;)
haha, my story was what touched off all these "seeing people (you don't want to see) having sex" stories.
I'm so proud.
Bjork lmao no SHE WON'T REMEMBER pleaseGodpleaseIlldoanythingokayIwontgiveupweedbutanythingelsepleaseGod
sinjin I checked out your video! OMG what a sweet guy, he even ShamWowed the poor little dog. So sad about the mother but happy that there was such a big hearted guy out fishing that day. Thanks for sharing and for the palate cleanse. :)
This thread is great, I am laughing my ass off...
Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:57pm.
EVEN OUR GRANDPARENTS HAVE DESIRES:
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Again UGH Bjork! Not gonna click on that link! That sentence is enouGH!!! NO visuals needed. It's true enough, but NO thanks, That's it, I'm hitting the books. Catcha latah!
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
Hey sexy people!
Gonna go cook now..hope everyone had a good day!
Big Hugs :)
*hugs Sweetas* :-)
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:45pm.
*offers Jacko a double* My daughter walked in on us once but it was pretty dark, we were covered and we stopped immediately. She walked back out and later she asked me what that noise was. I didn't say anything and she goes "you know, it sounded like UH! UH! UH!" :#( She was really little so I hope she'll just block it out lol.
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If she has your gift for writing, expect to read this publicly somewhere because she's good and gets the story published about walking in on her parents going at it. And she is a writer, so she will embellish.
Good times!
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:41pm
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OK, then it's just me that was too naive to look further. It seems everyone else has Photographic Memory... I was too shocked to catch all the good stuff, OK fine... I admit it... LOL!
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
guest thank you that makes me feel better!! Especially after hearing how slashed and torn everyone's psyches are up in here. ETA Within OMG no way would I post that shit on YouTube! In fact I will deny that it ever happened until my dying day! My daughter did a good impression too... *shame face*
sinjin I promise to watch your video when I get home! It's been a traumatic thread and I think we could all use it. Night all!
EVEN OUR GRANDPARENTS HAVE DESIRES:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5516046/1/Pleasant_sex_drive_for_a_well_fed_...
Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:45pm. & everyone,
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I saw YT video where the parents were cracking up at his little daughter re-enacting the noises she heard her parents make the night prior(?) I'm lookin for it now, but clearly the little kid had no clue & the mom & dad couldn't contain the HILARITY and hearing the kid grunt out the noises she heard exactly. Wasn't as bad as it sounds, she was too small to realize but she did an uncanny imitation. So, you're lucky, I guess.
Gee, I should be doing something more productive like WoRK but this has been too much fun. Damn you Kleachim!
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
Submitted by louise_brooks on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:46pm.
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:34pm.
She said it made a thumping sound when it hit her head. Dear GOD!
Bwahahahahahhahaahaa!!! OMG I am laughing so hard.
You know, I can't even begin to imagine the demented thought process on this one.
"Hmm...I think I see what everyone else is up to in the living room. Oh, there's my wife, son and his girlfriend. I think I'll whip my dick out and thunk my wife on the head with it." WTF?
^^^^^^^^^^^
Well, the father's name name was Otis, so take that for what it's worth.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Ahahaahahaha Weezy @ the psychoanalysis of that man!
*agrees that Sweetas little one remembers nothing!* lol.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by guest on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:15pm.
This thread is gross!!! Lol.
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IKR?! My little drunk driver / doggy rescue video has NO fucking hope here today! :-(
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:34pm.
She said it made a thumping sound when it hit her head. Dear GOD!
Bwahahahahahhahaahaa!!! OMG I am laughing so hard.
You know, I can't even begin to imagine the demented thought process on this one.
"Hmm...I think I see what everyone else is up to in the living room. Oh, there's my wife, son and his girlfriend. I think I'll whip my dick out and thunk my wife on the head with it." WTF?
*offers Jacko a double* My daughter walked in on us once but it was pretty dark, we were covered and we stopped immediately. She walked back out and later she asked me what that noise was. I didn't say anything and she goes "you know, it sounded like UH! UH! UH!" :#( She was really little so I hope she'll just block it out lol.
I'm out... you guys enjoy your evening.
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
Well, a thump is better than a boing, right?
Shit, I didn't mean to put that new image in my head.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
OK, I'm eating y'all -- don't make me choke.
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
I remember at 4 years old accidentally walking in on my uncle getting out of the shower (we were at the lake in a cabin for the summer) and I remember every detail of that quick, millisecond eyefull I got.
*shudders*
Submitted by WithinReason... on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:37pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:31pm.
Within - wtf ... EYE LEVEL HELLO!!?
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JEZUZCRIST! Next you'll be saying you could smell it! UGH!!! FUck that, I stand by my ORIGINAL assessment! NO WAY YOU noticed that!
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That's just fucking nasty... And I could give a shit if you believe me.
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:31pm.
Within - wtf ... EYE LEVEL HELLO!!?
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JEZUZCRIST! Next you'll be saying you could smell it! UGH!!! FUck that, I stand by my ORIGINAL assessment! NO WAY YOU noticed that!
When I was a kid, I was only able to APRAISE that my DAD was on top, I didn't notice all the EXTRA details like what was IN WHERE! FAIL!!! lol!
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
Dog, fucking stop.,, bwwahahahaahhahah!
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Bjork that is an excellent point but PLEASE enjoy your sessy times AND your privacy at the same time!! lol
Hahaha @ Dog's story, that is a fucked up way to say hello. Maybe they're Canadian? *runs like hell*
ETA fricking LOL @ "thumping sound"...you're gonna get me fired!!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:29pm.
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:16pm.
His father walked behind his mom's chair and hit her over the head with his dick
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I fuckin choked LOLin hahahahahahahahaaa!!
^^^^^^^^^
Just wrong. I mean, who does that? LMAO!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by louise_brooks on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:26pm.
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 01/09/2012 - 4:16pm.
WTF?? Was he abnormally tall? Or maybe she was sitting in an extremely low chair and was quite petite? I can't even imagine how that is possible.
^^^^^^^^^^
She said it made a thumping sound when it hit her head. Dear GOD!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Fuck caption this today, nope, no clickus. I've fallen foul to too many times already.