In today’s lesson taught by the Internet, we learn that when you try to steal a cunty porcupine’s corn on the cob he’ll attack you with cuteness by sounding like an Ewok furiously masturbating to Smurf porn in the middle of a windstorm. Adorable. I like that thing so much better now that it’s not living on top of Kate Gosselin’s head anymore. And I’m no porcupine whisperer, but did I hear that ho say, “Back up, bitch”? Somebody give Teddy Bear his own show! Better yet, auto-tune this and release it as his first single. Bitch practically sounds like Brit Brit but with more natural vocal talent. Viva Teddy!
via SayOMG (Thanks to everybody who sent this in)