Hot Slut Of The Day!

The Sperm Bank Bike of Seattle!

First things first, how in the name of cum-on-the-run did I miss the sperm bank bike?! The sperm bike started swimming through the streets of Copenhagen last year and Seattle got one a couple of months ago, and my eyeballs barely touched it this morning at Metro UK. I should've spit up a clue when several readers in Seattle told me they saw dudes in Scientology jogging suits running through the streets with both of their mouths wide open. But just like a weak jizz load that falls on your fingers after you've sprained your wrist bones from giving your piece a 10-hour long marathon handjob, this post is better late than never.

The sperm bike, which is almost an exact replica of the one Jim Bob Duggar rides up into Michelle's lady parts, is a custom-designed motorized two wheeler with a vacuum container in the front that stores the man leche samples. The Seattle Sperm Banks started using one, because they say it's greener, faster and who doesn't want to get a quick jolt to the ovaries from seeing a giant speeding sperm that looks like it should have the words "Came By KFed" stamped on the side of it?

The sperm bike is such a hit that The Arkansas Sperm Bank is building a Jizz Jalopy, The Miami Sperm Bank is building a Spooge Segway (Spoogeway?) and The Brooklyn Sperm Bank is just going to transport their samples in the beards of hipsters. Here's the sperm bike in action:

If there's ever an accident and they need somebody to clean up, they know where to find Paris Hilton.

Posted by: Michael K

•

Hot Slut of the Day

Submitted by becky n sydney on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 3:02pm.

Ewww! Can you imagine the mess on the road if he had an accident?

Submitted by FilthyBitch on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 1:36pm.

Because I had to know...

The custom-designed two-wheeler, which is almost ten feet in length, can hold up to 30 samples, which are stored in a special vacuum container cooled with liquid nitrogen.

The motorised bike, which features an oversized model of a sperm cell, has been developed to quickly and efficiently move donated sperm, and is being used by the Seattle Sperm Lab to service nearby reproductive centres and fertility clinics.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I've got a strong stomach and no standards to speak of" - MK 2/5/11

Submitted by Ms.Fit on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 1:33pm.

This should lead every Thanksgiving Day Parade in America. It's truly something to be thankful for.

Submitted by MKFan on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 12:29pm.

"First things first, how in the name of cum-on-the-run did I miss the sperm bank bike"

LMAO! passed out on my desk right now! Michael K! I can start where everything goes wrong. I come read your blog and thanks to you I can show up at work or class giggling to myself from something you have written.

You totally need to write for The David Letterman show.

Submitted by unemployed_bum on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 11:38am.

Mu hubby wants to know if they make a tandem version of this for us couples

Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 11:28am.

Meals on Wheels now comes to Seattle.

the Needle Dick capital of the world.

Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 11:12am.

tommy girl has a huge collection of motorbikes, and after seing this story, i heard he has ordered 50 of these bikes, and john travolta is mad because now they are out of stock.

Submitted by HangryHippo on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 10:22am.

i can't even tell you how many conversation topics MK has given me over the years....so many thanks

www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack

Submitted by Datura on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 10:19am.

Quite a spunky way to get around town.

I'm sure that the samples are in individual vials, all marked and categorized, but I can't beat back the visual of that compartment being filled with loose man juice just sloshing around all together...

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*
Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb

Submitted by guest on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 9:45am.

Well fmr.

******************

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 9:44am.

Submitted by atlantapug on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 9:18am.
=====================
Your whole post...LOL!

Submitted by Sweetas on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 9:24am.

Hahaha!! Most guys with that issue just get a sports car dude.

Submitted by atlantapug on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 9:18am.

I don't get it.... does it deliver sperm to women? Or does it collect sperm from men?

Either way, who the fuck wants that thing parked in front of their house?????
"Hi, my husband is barren so we're buying jizz off a bike"
OR
"Hey, my jizz is so great that I'm in here jerking right now for some lucky stranger"

Ewwwwwwwwww.

Submitted by mike on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 9:06am.

Well, I guess that gives people something to look while cursing him for driving too slowly and impeding the flow of traffic.

Submitted by snowball on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 9:02am.

I want one, just so I can be an ironic menopausal hipster.

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 8:47am.

YES.

That is all.

_______________________________________________

I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.

Submitted by Manimal5 on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 8:47am.

Just Paris Hiltons head would be funny enough! LOL!

Submitted by WTFOMGLOL on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 8:45am.

SCHWWWII-IIIN-NNNG

NOW .. I have seen everything!! :\

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 8:44am.

IT would be hilarious and ironic if this vehicle crashed into a farm truck full of eggs.

►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄
Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 8:42am.

It takes balls to ride that thing. He must get testy in traffic.

►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄
Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.

Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 11/10/2011 - 8:41am.

There is not enough money in the world that would have me riding a giant fuckin sperm around town all day, no way no how! Can you imagine the shit this guy has to put up with every day?

What, this guy drives around to guys houses picking up samples?? WTF!!