Monday, June 6th 2011
Open Post: Hosted By A Dude You Do Not Mess With
Today and today only, memaws will give their "NOT THE ONE" title to this unarmed hotel lobby destroyer who wants his shit. My favorite part is when homegirl in the black apron strolls by and wonders if she should cover the counter with banana peels before deciding that she doesn't get paid enough to deal with this mess.
(Thanks Tiffany)
• 
kissingassandcu... on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 3:37am.
"But everyone's different....some people are into Chanel bags and shitting when no one's home! Each to their own."
----------------
Lordy, that needs to be someone's siggy.
Has anyone heard anything from Khensu? I haven't read any new comments in about 2 months!
Oh my lord shitting in front of someone else is gross just cuz of the smell but I love talking about what kind of shit I took and how it came out with my friends and sometimes the person I may or may not be going out with at the time. Not only do I think it's hilarious but it really can be educational. As long as you're not eating while discussing it it really can be fascinating. I also don't think you can really fall in love with someone or be in love with someone truly with all your heart and soul unless you know all the great things, the funny things, the sad things about them which includes shitting details of course haha! If you can be that honest then it's like you're having a constant crazy, fun slumber party every night but you get to fuck them at the end of the night or any portion of the night there in. But everyone's different....some people are into Chanel bags and shitting when no one's home! Each to their own.
About the armless dude- I think that the people laughing were black and I think they find it funny when white people display violent/bad behavior because on TV, in music videos, and in the media black people are almost always portrayed doing violent things as compared to black people. It's like they just can't believe it. Also some people black and white just think it's hilarious to see someone who is handicapped actually getting pissed off, because handicapped people are supposed to be dependent on others and constantly grateful and therefore they aren't supposed to have feelings so when they do it's almost like its cathartic for other people around them and/or on a more sick note it's also like ignorant people watching their own private armless pissed off circus performance.
If it was me there I would not jut sit there and watch that shit and laugh. I agree with the people who said he was obviously drunk or on drugs, I mean he looked practically homeless, was he even staying at that hotel? If he looked too fucked up to help or for me to say something too I would probably call 311 but I sure as fuck wouldn't just sit around and laugh. That to me is so fucking cold. The ones who were laughing looked kind of youngish so I hope they will learn in time and grow the fuck up. I'm sure this is tldr but it's late and I can't fucking sleep.
Kissing Ass and Cupping Balls. You're Welcome.
This is why every business should keep a gun handy. I would have shot it in the face.
Simply dying to shake his (?) hand..
I'm one of those people that can never find my shit, so like this fine armless fellow, sometimes I have little fits about my shit.
"Some men rob you with a six-gun -- others with a fountain pen." -- Woodie Guthrie
This clip l,maooooo! This is me at the office on any given day. GIMME MAH SHIT! Wait, what shit is i'haz waiting for??? omg
Happy whateverday, y'all.
The armless man is a motherfucker and most likely on drugs, but why were the other two simpletons laughing like a couple of jackasses and not asking him to stop? It looked like they were egging him on instead! I see this a lot in their class of people and it is always baffling to me as to why they find this type of destructive behavior hilarious?!
Some great tunes, ESE! Here's some faves of mine from my misbegotten youth:
http://youtu.be/uJ7pgElCPXE
http://youtu.be/DvnJ2-owQXw
http://youtu.be/D7sUh-DX7I0
http://youtu.be/SX8LQBPeEus
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 8:35pm.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 8:21pm.
Thank you guys for posting these. I want this beautiful lady to be my life coach now.
Yeah, I was looking for a vid I couldn't find. Anyways, this is probably better than farting pugs...
Although it's a close call. ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2J9Qh7JJAs
Nite all.
one more for good measure...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmvG2GZ3S7o
night, folks... happy happy, and all that stuff.
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by suckandfuck on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 8:21pm.
Y'all...i got some SHIT on ma MIND today
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD4EEUwqu_M
---------------------------------------------
HAHAHA, her : "wash yo nuts" one is killing me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhjmYZRQZH0&feature=related
=================================================
"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
--------------------------------------------------
http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
uh huh, yep... mind's totally gone now...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLI5pzlSWlc
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
just because... ya know... i'm posting my breakdown on the internet at the moment...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCKt2JGfHrQ
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
and now...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqPNpZzE9xc
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Y'all...i got some SHIT on ma MIND today
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD4EEUwqu_M
-------------------------------------------------
Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
still need a lil more...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Y-rlv32xhw&feature=related
i promise... i'll be better mood tomorrow.
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Awesome...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMICD3aMZpw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePIImGMjn_8
nope, not done yet...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0uSGsB59ko
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
and next up...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zQ9bu0ASZI
don't mind me... just workin' through somethin'
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
*throws lawn chair across thread*... *sits on OP bar*...
ya, know folks... sometimes it's just a disheartening thing to get phone calls from people you haven't heard from for years...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mcloY9BlOU&feature=related
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Poor armless man. Probably has horrible childhood memories dressing up as a manatee every year for Halloween - there are only so many possible costumes.
I imagine his TRex's are a result of his mother taking thalidomide during pregnancy (he looks 50ish - could be wrong). I'd feel more sorry for him if he wasn't such a dick.
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 6:55pm.
Well, as long as He doesn't play the harmonica, that is seriously annoying.
Submitted by cliffdweller on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 6:51pm.
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 6:46pm.
Platform 9 and 3/4?
-------------
Yes! Because no-arm dude has serious powers. He'll board the train in FLA and will be signing autographs....
...um, with his feets I guess...or maybe with his "magic wand"... who knows?
I have a feeling this guy has all kinds of unexpected talents. *giggles*
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 6:46pm.
Platform 9 and 3/4?
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 3:43pm.
LOL stoney - she is a bitch because she's a nosey ass busy body that likes to stick her nose in everyone's business... blowing up the bathroom everyday just makes me hate her even more. Her being fat really has no bearing on anything other than she is fat (and snorts while she walks).
ROTFL I love stories about your work lady.
*
Hey, does anybody know who's the hot dude narrating the True Blood season 3 DVD commercial? He's walking through a train station, scruffy face, melodious voice, hops up on a shoeshine chair at the end. Have mercy, the dude is hot.
**************************************************
"Don't think that I'm not in the process of training him to sit still in a basket while I lower it down to the sidewalk from my window so that I don't have to put on sweats to take him out!"
NOTICE: Hell called and confirmed that everyone who has posted on or read any part of these comments has a ticket for the express train, boarding immediately, departing in fifteen minutes. We will be making one stop on the way, in Florida. Open bar. Thank you.
ETA: Jack's seat will be the one closest to the bathroom.
Submitted by agirl on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 6:46pm.
------------------------------------------
Ahahahahahahahahaha!!!
*buys coach ticket 'cause I'm poor*
*bellies up to the bar*
Hey guys!
Submitted by Provolone on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 1:12pm.
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 1:11pm.
MK bitch, can you show some hockey love this week? Pretty pretty please?! ta.
He's missing out on all the ginger beards.
-----------------------------------------------
I'm in love with Raffi Torres. Hope I spelled his name right on our fake marriage certificate...
-----------------------------------------------
"my brows could subtract that WTF look on your face so move along"
I'm so sorry I missed the poopoo party, but I'll add my story anyway:
My little sister and her husband have been married since 1998. In all that time, not only has she never farted in front of him, nor he in front of her, but neither one of them has EVER taken a dump while the other was home.
I find this very difficult to believe, but she insists it is true. I can see HER not pooping, because she's all about the pearls and Chanel bag and kitten heels. But HIM?? NOT POOPING IN HIS OWN HOUSE when he needs to because his wife is home???
It just sounds like an absolutely miserable existence to me, but they seem very happy.
_________________________
"I'd love to sing you a song, but I'm a little horse."
My only poo times rule is that I don't do it at other people's houses. You spend 8 plus hours a day at work, so it's inevitable that you will have to go there.
Also, my door is LOCKED at home during poo times.
My ex husband used to call me into the bathroom during...nasty mofo.
***********************************************
I set fire to the rain
And I threw us into the flames
Well, I felt something die,
Cause I knew that
That was the last time,
The last time
-Adele
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 4:42pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 4:04pm.
TEAM REAL LADIES DON'T SHIT!!!
_____________________________________________
I never have.
-------------------------------------------------
LOL
So you were one of the girls Alexiss K Tylor denounced in one of her shows. ;-)
"A hole's a hole as long as there's a little heat in there." - suckandfuck
"The dudes look plucked and pampered while the chicks look fucked and tampered. I love it." - MK
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 4:04pm.
TEAM REAL LADIES DON'T SHIT!!!
_____________________________________________
I never have.
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 3:20pm.
Brings up a good question. When you are first dating someone/sleeping over how long before you poo? I have poo fear and it takes me at least a week.
**********************************************
Been married five years and I STILL pretend like I don't poo. Sometimes I tell my husband I have a stomachache and he's like "Try to fart. You'll feel better." And I'm like "Ladies don't fart!!"
Btw, I'm very poo-phobic. Love to poo, but hate to hear, see, or smell it!
Is it just me or was that guy really surreal-looking? Like hyper-flexible and almost computer-animated? He reminded me of a Gong Show clip someone just posted here a while ago:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uh9YBw8nnXg
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 3:54pm.
LOL. I love you for saying plump.
It was always funny to hear my mother say it because she was slim until middle age, started cooking at the age of seven, and practice made perfect.
Cooking from scratch is actually a good way to manage one's weight. So is following an anti-migraine diet. Whenever MichaelK names some junk food as HSOTD I have to take his word for it!
I have no problem farting infront of my husband.
But I draw the line at having company while doing poo times.
Door is closed and LOCKED. No one wants to see anyone crapping.
Ok, see everyone tomorrow! LOL!!
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
No arm man is pretty flexable with his legs! LOL
Why should a man be allowed to fart and a woman has to hold it in or be shamed? Why the double standard? I will tell you why. Because we live in a misogynistic world run by a bunch of sexist a-hole hypocrites. Also known as men.
*buys tampons*
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Lights a book of matches and runs from this thread...
Oh, before I forget, I think this is relevant to the shit conversation.
I watched a repeat of Jersey Shore the other night, Vinnie's mom came to the shore and cooked this monster meal with about 10 courses, and the way they cut it, they had Ronnie coming out of the can spraying Febreze all over the place, AND YOU COULD SEE THE KITCHEN WITH EVERYONE EATING WHILE HE DID IT!
Considering I was eating a Weight Watchers Swedish meatball dinner at the time, I have been disgusted ever since and will never eat that dinner again.
_________________________________
GERONIMO!
Vanitas - thanks for the link. OMG! I can't believe some of those houses are that expensive!
Submitted by Genny18 on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 1:07pm.
That is one angry sperm!
ROTFLMFAO! Comments of the dude(s) filming it were what put me over the edge. "This shit's goin' PLATINUM!"
**********
I'm here for your entertainment...
Well, everyone have a nice evening.
I'm going out to a fancy French dinner with my Dad, I have a new dress and everything!
Considering my outside dining activities usually involve burgers, beer and my two dogs, this will be a treat.
Take care, now.
Centy
_________________________________
GERONIMO!
TEAM REAL LADIES DON'T SHIT!!!
_____________________________________________
"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11