Robbie Williams Is Shooting Himself Up With Testosterone

Proud man slut and overall spaz ball Robbie Williams had a talk with Esquire UK and mouth farted about everything from dudes have a "Built to Fuck" label tattooed on the inside of their dicks and how he regularly gets injects himself with Khloe Kardashian serum due to the lack of testosterone in his body.

Robbie's interviews are always a mess and this one's no exception. It's like he's on the verge of jizzing, but the interviewer is pinching his peen hole so he's trying to get his thoughts out as quickly as possible. Anybody who has gotten an important phone call in the middle of jacking off knows what I'm talking about.

Here's what Robbie had to say about all sorts of shit. The quotes will fly by if you picture the interviewer's pinky in Robbie's peen hole.

On how he traded in human growth hormones injections for some MAN JUICE and it's helping his chronic lethargy: "To cut a long story short I went to get some HGH. It's what all the old fellas are on out there in LA that's making them look 40 instead of 60. It's improving their health, their memory, their hair, skin. Could give you cancer. I weighed that up. Thought I'd have it anyway. Went to see a Hollywood doctor. Had my blood tests. Went back. He said, 'You don't need HGH. You've got the testosterone of a 100-year-old man.' And then everything made sense. It was kind of an epiphany that day."

On how monogamy doesn't make sense: "The rules aren't set up right. Because people are fucking outside of their marriages, outside of their relationships. People get caught out every single week in the newspapers. What does that mean? I think that means we're built to fuck. And marriage, that whole institution, is made-up bull. I am pleased there is a media waiting for me to fuck up because it keeps me on the straight and narrow. But if it wasn't for jealousy and social constraints, I think the rules would be different."

On if he cheats on his wife: "Actually, no, because I don't want to break Ayda's heart. That's the last thing I want to do. I met Ayda, I fell in love, that's what happened. But I would be way more tempted because at the end of the day I am a man, with the stuff that makes you a man - go forth and multiply. And multiply with absolutely everyone."

On how he regularly takes long walks and watches old movies with Granny Smith Apples: "I feel more emotionally connected to this apple than I do to a person I've just slept with. Women reading that will think that's awful. But that's what men are made of."

On if he wants kids: "I get a lot of time off and I love fannying about. Play Football Manager, write songs, look on the internet for conspiracy theories, hang out, live in the sun. It's a wonderful life of getting up when I want, going to sleep when I want. A kid will fuck that up."

What I'm getting from this interview is that I should I pour testosterone cream into my morning coffee instead of illegal meth. I'm also getting that you should never try the apple cobbler at Robbie's house, because I'm pretty sure he's cheating on his wife with a Honeycrisp.

via The Sun

Posted by: Michael K

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Do You Need A Moment? • Robbie Williams

Submitted by JewJewBean on Fri, 06/03/2011 - 1:50pm.

Submitted by CoconutCoochie on Fri, 06/03/2011 - 12:56pm

You are right. Monogamy make sense on paper but it is hard(not impossible) to practice. But, most people are pissed at his misogynistic attitude about it. Men aren't the only ones that cheat. Here is something Robbie and men like him will have a hard time swallowing: WOMEN CHEAT MORE THAN MEN. So, while you are sitting on the net or with your boys harping on about how you can't keep it in your pants b.c you are a man and men cheat, your girl is probably somewhere getting her backed knocked out by a man that can please her better than you. LOL. #Oops. #Shots fired.

*Change is inevitable; progress is optional
*She who conquers herself, conquers all

Submitted by bornagainChristian on Fri, 06/03/2011 - 1:19pm.

You want to know the definition by illustration of DOUCHE? See Above. Definition of a DOUCHE's thought process? Read his quotes.

"go forth and multiply..." is his excuse for effing everyone at his whimsy??

REALLY? Well...if men had to concieve a child, go through gestation, give birth, breastfeed and raise, nurture and provide everything for their children,.....THERE WOULD BE ZERO POPULATION GROWTH....and about a dozen or so left on this earth.

I say......HOOORAHHH ROBBIE....DON'T have any kids! There are too many dumbasses populating this world right now as it is.

Submitted by CoconutCoochie on Fri, 06/03/2011 - 11:26am.

Oozing sex like someone said.
Talk about making love with your eyes!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOewegX7H-Q

Submitted by CoconutCoochie on Fri, 06/03/2011 - 11:15am.

He makes sense. We tend to forget it but we are just mammals. There's a logic (and a sense) to monogamy, but it also goes against our needs as animals.

Submitted by Pinkismyblack on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 11:35pm.

I'm surprised Mk didn't omment on the best part of this- the last bit where he says that kids fuck up your fun!

Submitted by Kelly Ann on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 9:46pm.

I don't know who this is, but he's just so vocal about such stereotypical subjects that all I can gather is that he's an asshole. He's also on synthetic hormones, so..GROSS.

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If you wanna be in black and white, black and white's gotta be IN YOU!

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 9:37pm.

I'm sensing the vibe that Robbie Williams should just shut the fuck up. Yea... totally getting that vibe.

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Please get the fuck out ---->

Submitted by salacious on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 9:36pm.

I was surprised to hear when he got married, I've always thought he was openly bisexual.

I like his collaborations with Pet Shop Boys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ev5F9BWWPbQ

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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 9:21pm.

I'm also getting that you should never try the apple cobbler at Robbie's house, because I'm pretty sure he's cheating on his wife with a Honeycrisp.
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Agreed.

♥ Threadkilla!
EveryStrangersEyes long lost baby video uncovered!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAQra8wJ0ws (thanks sugarfreeredbull:)
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 9:18pm.

You don't need HGH. You've got the testosterone of a 100-year-old man.
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Wait what?

Submitted by becky n sydney on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 9:15pm.

Robbie looks like a 45 y.o. clapped out speed freak.
Unfortunately, he's looked like this for the past twenty years.

Submitted by Arlene Machiavelli on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 6:42pm.

" It's a wonderful life of getting up when I want, going to sleep when I want. A kid will fuck that up"

Mr. Go forth and multiply with absolutely everyone... stop talking please.

___________________
'Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now'-BK

Submitted by IluvDuranDuran on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 5:38pm.

sigh...all this raging tool needs to do is take himself off of Effexor. He should see his testosterone return to normal. My BFF took Wellbutrin and her testosterone skyrocketed...she was like Ronnie from the Jersey Shore - temper and all. Check the facts, pysch meds interrupt the endocrine system - hormomes, adrenaline, etc...longer you take 'em, the less chance of systematic recovery.

Submitted by Jasminev on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 5:20pm.

http://ceoworld.biz/ceo/2011/05/19/ceoworld-most-talented-musicians-list...

Submitted by RockstarDani on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 5:01pm.

You know, I actually DID picture the interviewer pinching Robbie's peen hole while reading the interview, and at first it was quite funny, but then after awhile of reading the interview it kind of wore off. Still good imagery though.haha

"I make myself sick, Get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure,Grown up nerd."
-Fat lip (The Pharcyde)

Submitted by JewJewBean on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 4:25pm.

Submitted by TrashyWilma on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 5:09pm.

LOL @ the Paris Hilton comment. It would seem true but I don't think so because people only care about celebrity opinions when they are saying something they agree with. Any other time, they are dumb asses that need to just shut up and sing/act.

I still have no idea who this dude is but I am also not really trying to find out, so.

*Change is inevitable; progress is optional
*She who conquers herself, conquers all

Submitted by TrashyWilma on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 3:39pm.

It's amazing. The man had one hit in the US in the late 90s, a song I can't even hum because it was so irrelevant, and yet there are still people who care about his opinions.

This totally means we're stuck hearing Paris Hilton speak forty years after irrelevancy.

http://smellmybutt.tumblr.com/

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 3:38pm.

Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:42pm.
Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:32pm.
I really have no clue who he is but I'm sure there are a shitpot of woman out there that are gonna freak out about the "men..we're built to fuck" line but too bad because it's true.It doesn't matter how much we love our women we want to fuck more,it doesn't mean we should or it's an excuse to be a shitbag and fuck outside the relationship but there isn't a day that goes by your man doesn't want to fuck someone else.

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This is why society has rules.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't want to bitch-slap one of neighbors who stands outside my livingroom windows whiles smokes and screams into her cellphone. I can't have my window open because of her. She has to have her smoke-phone session about every two hours. I've asked to go somewhere else but she doesn't.

I can't smack her; people in relationships can't fuck outside of it.
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You can smack her...I'm giving you DListed permission...Yeah, I got a permission slip from MK and all...Oh, and after you smack her kick her hard in the shins for me.

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by chestybongos on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 3:20pm.

"I feel more emotionally connected to this apple than I do to a person I've just slept with. Women reading that will think that's awful. But that's what men are made of."

No, you're just a massive twat.

Submitted by JewJewBean on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 2:45pm.

Submitted by KA on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 4:05pm.

LMAO. More than likely no seeing as how I am her only girl friend. But, she literally has cheated on every man she has ever been with. She is just a horn dog. I am too but I am not in a relationship. That is my thing, if you don't want to be with just one person or don't think you can, why the fuck are you in a relationship? It is so ridiculous. I remember watching this video titled, 'Should we expect married athletics to be faithful?'

Ummm, last time I checked, getting married was a choice. This is why I truly believe cheating is an ego thing and all about the thrill. These people can easily be single but they chose not to.

*Change is inevitable; progress is optional
*She who conquers herself, conquers all

Submitted by KA on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 2:35pm.

not all of us cheat on our other half. if you have half a brain and any decent respect for people, you dont cheat. you leave your shit relationship and then be a whore. or just stay out of relationships and be a whore. all the more proof most people out there are stupid and cant think past what their crotch is telling them.

JewJewBean: do we know the same person? My EX bff has cheated on every single man shes been with. apparently the attention of one man is never enough. that's a mental illness, not a preference.
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"I mean, sentenced to 120 days and sat in there for about as long as a Pink Floyd song?" - MK

Submitted by K2 on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 2:16pm.

I googled this dipshit and still dont see what's so great about him.

And he cant think of anything worthwhile to discuss other than his testosterone or lack of? Get a grip idiot.

Submitted by literarylioness on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 1:34pm.

If he has no testosterone, where is he getting his urges? He should be sleeping in his lazy boy watching the telly. Also, how is he going to get his friend up to get his wife pregnant? Robbie does not make sense to me.

Submitted by JewJewBean on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 1:29pm.

Submitted by precociousmagpie on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 2:22pm.

Surprisingly(not really), some men actually believe women don't cheat(or one will never cheat on them, check out other men or fantasize about them. If I asked my bf's boyfriend or my eldest sister husband if they thought their women would ever step out on them, they would laugh me out their faces. Fact is: both have and my bff continues to do so. She love attention from men and don't care who she hurts to get it.

*Change is inevitable; progress is optional
*She who conquers herself, conquers all

Submitted by Paquita on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 1:16pm.

I still have the hots for him no matter what stupidity he blabbers.

I love attention and if I am not getting it from my boyfriend I am going to get it somewhere else, but not crossing the line. But yes I've cheated no excuse for that.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Don't blame me! I voted for Kodos!
http://lif3d3sign.tumblr.com/

Submitted by JewJewBean on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 1:13pm.

And, who doesn't notice other people or fantasize about fucking them. Being in relationships doesn't make you a robot. It just doesn't. Some act on it and some don't.

*Change is inevitable; progress is optional
*She who conquers herself, conquers all

Submitted by Bree on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 1:13pm.

I see cheating as more an impulse problem than anything else. I agree with crazyinjapan "The only time I ever wanted to fuck another person when I was with somebody else was when I wasn't getting what I needed out of the relationship, and I think that is true of most people" but even then, I never followed through because I wouldn't want to hurt the person I was with. But some people have impulse problems and if they KNOW they can get away with it, well shit why not then?

Submitted by cake coke and cock on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 1:01pm.

I don't care. I love this man. I love this man hard.

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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.

Submitted by foghat on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:56pm.

We're all cheaters... except me? I think Robbie just inadvertently admitted something to his wife.

http://www.lowbrowsophisticate.com/interviews/bleeding-gracefully-the-ca...

Submitted by precociousmagpie on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:52pm.

I don't know who this tool is, exactly, but here's the thing: Every time, and I mean EVERY TIME, I have had the conversation with some guy--any guy--about how men are dogs and want to cheat and force themselves not to and can't stop ogling every pair of tits that passes them in the shopping mall, and I casually respond with, "Oh, sure, I mean, women have this problem also," the guy INVARIABLY is taken aback and says, "YOU DO?!"

The facial expression is always one of utter shock/horror, like they thought they had the corner on lust, and now THEY have to worry what might be happening across town while their current piece is supposedly at aerobics class.

_________________________
"I just remembered--I don't work here!!" ~Casey Anthony

Submitted by nunya_bizness on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:40pm.

Side-eyes everyone who is not aware of Robbie's greatness. Dude was in one of the greatest boy bands ever.
Let me be servicey:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2ICtCO8TCw

He is the UK's tepid version of Timberlake.

Submitted by Cat Scratch on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:32pm.

Sounds all pretty reasonable to me.

Love the ones your with but don't be too cool or uptight to acknowledge your inner fuck machine because there's a good chance you'll be disappointed by all that pesky, tiresome emotional connectivity. Don't let kids come in and piss all over your cynicism, you'll become boring and flabby stewing in their neediness. Men are dogs, eager to please, happy & stupidly content with ball-tingling stimuli.

He matches my sentiments EXACTLY. Who could give a fuck?!

Submitted by K2 on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:14pm.

Who the hell is he? For real.

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:14pm.

Stoney -- I'm not a nurturer and NEVER wanted to spit out babies, but is it okay if I stay home and pet fluffy bunnies (or, in my case, a fluffy cat)? LOVE your comment.

Submitted by JewJewBean on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:11pm.

Submitted by Vanitas on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 1:26pm

I know. I didn't mean fuck around as in cheat. I was actually speaking about women who enjoy getting around a lot but would never come out and say that because they would be labeled a whore.

*Change is inevitable; progress is optional
*She who conquers herself, conquers all

Submitted by Twat Muffin on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:10pm.

Snowpiece -- totally agree with you on the kids comment. It's better to admit you wouldn't deal with them instead of having them and then everyone suffers.

I like Robbie & Nicole Kidman's version of "Something Stupid."

Submitted by DianaDeath on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:09pm.

Never heard of this fucking weirdo before. Too bad he's alredy taken *rolls eyes*

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"Let's do it in Spanish" -Ricky Martin

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:07pm.

Submitted by EastEndGirl on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 1:15pm.

Fine girls more for me! dunno I am an eye girl and that man has them. He looks like he knows how to play.
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Robbie's eye situation is not so much oozing sex but whispering "chromosomal damage" to me, but hey, to each his own, LOL!!

And I see a flaw in his argument. He seems to be a proponent of going with one's nature instead of resisting it. And yet he was willing to inject himself with something possibly carcinogenic in order to resist the natural decrease in drive that can come with age (that's what I'm getting from these quotes anyway). That on top of all his "MUST FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK I LIVE TO FUCK" stuff makes me think he's a bit too identified with his sexuality. Like if he lost that he'd disappear/lose his ego/figuratively die. One shouldn't count on one's libido staying the same forever - it changes just like everything else. Which is probably a good thing otherwise the hospitals would be full of Oldie Olsons with cracked spines and broken pelvises.

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"House arrest sounds like a dream!" - hermit crabs

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:05pm.

Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 1:33pm.
Only rapists don't need invites.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! lame

_____________________________________________
"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11

Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:04pm.

Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 1:25pm.
I love how whamo and jack are both pretending that they were invited to sweetas and snowy's party. Run along now, children

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I never said we suceed evertime but we sure as hell try! lol

Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:03pm.

Only rapists don't need invites.
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 11:57am.

LOL, stoney. I don't need an invite.
_____________________________________________
"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11

Submitted by Vanitas on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 11:56am.

JJB : oops, sorry I wasn't clear. I didn't mean I was cheating on him, just that my sex drive was higher.

Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 11:55am.

I love how whamo and jack are both pretending that they were invited to sweetas and snowy's party. Run along now, children.

_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Submitted by joe shmoe on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 11:55am.

Submitted by crazyinjapan on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:31pm.
It offends me when a dipshit speaks for all men. Some men are dirty dogs, it's true. However, I've known and dated a whole lot of men, and most of them want to have a stable relationship with a woman who gets them hot and is a good companion
******
I totally agree with this and I kinda agree with Robbie. I think the truth is somewhere in the middle. I don't believe for a second that all men are scheming to find a way to cheat on their partner. I'm surprised he admits he loves his wife because he seems devoid of feeling. Weird.

However, I do think that even the most loyal, loving and decent men will look at other women and fantasize about them, but because they love their wife/gf and they're loyal and decent, they would never act on it. It's not because their partner isn't hot and smart and gorgeous, it's because men are programmed to be turned on visually. And hopefully they're subtle about it, because even if you know they do it, you certainly don't want to 'know' they do it.

There's not much point being jelly about it cuz that's the way it is.

And women fantasize too. Right?

Case closed. *bangs gavel*

************

Submitted by JewJewBean on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 11:54am.

Submitted by Vanitas on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 1:20pm.
Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:50pm.

There are millions of women that love to fuck around but will never admit it. And, not because they don't feel the need to shout it from the roof top like some men, but because it isn't socially acceptable for a women to be with lots of men let alone admit to it.

*Change is inevitable; progress is optional
*She who conquers herself, conquers all

Submitted by Vanitas on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 11:50am.

THIS!!!! And I was dating an older guy awhile ago and my sex drive is WAY higher than his.

Submitted by Hekki on Thu, 06/02/2011 - 12:50pm.
Oh, please. Women love to fuck just as much as men do. I see men I'd like to fuck every single day. Back when I was young and single and felt like fucking someone, I sure as hell did.

But as a committed mature person, I made a choice and some vows and it would hurt my husband and wreck our family if I followed my yoni around.

It's not a gender thing, it's an integrity thing.