And that is the face of a woman who now knows that everybody knows that she's doing Seth MacFarlane.
Charlize Theron was supposedly sniffing all over Seth McFartlane's crotch at an Oscars after-party in February and now here they are leaving Matsuhisa in Beverly Hills last night. The humanized Peter Brady bobblehead doll has a smug look on his face that says "oh yeah, you know where my peen is going tonight" and Charlize Theron is making the true definition of a shame face. It's the same face a Craigslist one-night-stand makes when I see one of them out in public. I know that face!
Seth McFartlane always has a smug face on, but now he really has a reason to be a smug bitch. When you're getting naked with Charlize Theron on the regular, you're probably always happily smug no matter what happens to you. If Seth got food poisoning and spent the entire night barfing up shit and shitting up barf, he can stop for a second and let out a smug smile, because he reminded himself that he's fucking Charlize Theron. If Seth opens up a bag of delicious Gummy Bears and finds that they all melted together and formed a disgusting bar of gumminess (that's the worst), he can curse at the air for a second and then stop to let out a smug smile, because he remembered that he's fucking Charlize Theron. If he finds out that his entire family has been kidnapped by pirates, he can.....you know what I'm going to type.
Seth is directing Charlize in a movie, so this could've been a business thing, but her "yes, I'm hitting it and I'm not proud of it" face says everything.
A couple of days after the Oscars, there was a story going around that Charlize Theron stayed pretty much attached to Seth MacFarlane's ass at an Oscars after-party and I figured it's because he had the good shit and she was looking to fill her apple bong. But Bill Zwecker at the Chicago Sun-Times (via Lainey) says that Charlize and Seth got moist in the nipples for each other during rehearsals for the Oscars and the two hung out at all the parties after the Oscars. Apparently, Seth just broke up with the girl from Game of Thrones and now he's into Charlize. Severe randomness ahead....
According to folks close to Theron, the South African native thinks MacFarlane is funny, cute and charming. “Charlize finds Seth to be a great guy who not only makes her laugh but has so much on the ball,” said a longtime Hollywood insider who has worked with Theron for years.
Reportedly, the duo not only hung out all night after the Oscars but are planning to see each other again. “This is early, but I see a new relationship brewing,” added a second source who attended MacFarlane’s own post-awards bash Sunday.
This is just weird. Charlize's taste in dudes has always put a question mark in my head, but Seth MacFarlane?! I mean, I would, but that's because he looks like a mash-up of Peter Brady and Jamie from Small Wonder and I'm nostalgic like that. If Charlize is up on him, he must cum pot butter. Or maybe she likes it when he does his Brian Griffin voice when they're humping on each other. Sucio ass bitch.
Here's some riveting pictures of Charlize at the grocery store with her son yesterday.
This is happening, according to this real press release from Deadline:
Seth MacFarlane will host the 85th Academy Awards®, telecast producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron announced today. This will be MacFarlane’s first appearance on Oscar’s stage. The 85th Academy Awards will be broadcast live on Oscar® Sunday, February 24, on the ABC Television Network.
“We are thrilled to have Seth MacFarlane host the Oscars. His performing skills blend perfectly with our ideas for making the show entertaining and fresh,” said Zadan and Meron. “He will be the consummate host, and we are so happy to be working with him.”
“It’s truly an overwhelming privilege to be asked to host the Oscars,” said MacFarlane. “My thoughts upon hearing the news were, one, I will do my utmost to live up to the high standards set forth by my predecessors; and two, I hope they don’t find out I hosted the Charlie Sheen Roast.”
On one hand, Seth is always making the smuggest expressions (see pic above) and the only thing his face should host is a fist, so I can't imagine staring at that for 5 million hours straight. But on the other hand, I LOVE this, because this could be the train wreck mess that will unite all of us together. Remember when James Franco and Anne Hathaway's beyond awful performances made us all barf next to each other as one? Nothing brings us together like an Oscar shit show.