Fuck Off, Weight Watchers
With a belly full of baby #2, Jessica Simpson has announced that she's going off of her Weight Watchers diet for now. DUH. (Read: Jessica got knocked up again just so she could belly up to the Golden Corral buffet without WW's being all up in her face about it. "FUCK a bunch of three million dollars, FOOD, bitches!!!" - Jessica) In a statement, Weight Watchers wished her luck with her new family while holding their middle fingers up under the table and threw her no public shade for her decision.
From Yahoo! News:
"It's wonderful news and we couldn't be happier for Jessica, Eric [Johnson] and big sister-to-be Maxwell," Cheryl Callan, Senior Vice President of Marketing at Weight Watchers, said in a statement on Wednesday.
I say if you're Jessica Simpson, and can afford to turn down $3 million while burping out babies and Arby's curly fries, more power to you. And who the hell wants to diet while they're pregnant, except for do-goody moms who actually follow doctor's instructions?? YUCK. I mean, she already lost over 50 pounds from her first pregnancy that ended a week ago, what the hell do you want from her?? On a related note, PopTarts, Country Crock, and Krispy Kreme stock just shot through the roof. Seriously, pregnant women are not supposed to be on Weight Watchers, as is emblazoned across the bottorm of the screen at the end of this not-redneck-at-all video where Jessica announces she's only quitting FOR NOW.
And here are a couple more pics of Jessica walking on the beach in Hawaii with her baby daddy Eric Johnston while she is coyly covering her baby bump. If Michael K wants to see her in person, he should just follow the trail of empty Entenmann's boxes.
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I would bet that she is 4-5 months along minimum. Baby #2 to pop in April.
So she's alot shorter than him. Less knee damage.
@JFC it's not my best.. I know a couple who has a height difference like this and seeing them together is gross. She sits on his lap like she's a child.. This pic reminded me of them.
watch that commercial, at the :09 mark, she gets shot in the back of the head just as the pickup pulls up to the edge of the cliff.
that dumb shit. can't even ride shotgun properly.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
Fuck, I knew she was short but damn, no wonder she depends on platform shoes.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
If you believe in yourself, drink your school, stay in drugs, and don't do milk.
Like a still from 'The Hobbit'. Not her finest picture moment.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
I'm not surprised that she got pregnant so quickly being on WW. It would have seemed like the easiest way out, and not break the terms of the contract, or give the back the money.
losing 50 lbs in a short few months, cannot be enjoyable. I bet they had sex 5 times a day after the swelling went down to get pregnant, cuz she clearly wasn't being ''careful'' not to, to keep her promise and deal.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
Submitted by KA on Fri, 12/28/2012 - 2:35am.
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no one, no one can stay on WW or any fab diet, or taking pills, for life.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
the whole diet industry is a booming success, while the simplest, most effective and healthy things cost nothing and are better for you. for life.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
She may not get fat. With my first I gained 63lbs, I ate what I wanted and gave into every craving. With my second I only gained 23lbs and lost them all within a month and then some more after that. Just takes some discipline with those dang cravings.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 11:23pm.
WHAT IS THAT EVIL RED EYED SNAKE ON JESSICA'S ARM?!?!?
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they call it unemployed gold digger. did he ever get lucky, meeting her at her most vulnerable moment and hanging on.
oh shush me, I'm just jealous of true love.
I believe they love one another. With time and some effort, a bond forms and grows.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 5:10pm.
As a mom and a writer, I cosign on mommy bloggers. They are the most annoying bitches in the world, trying to be the wittiest mom with the "craziest" life on the block.
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THANK YOU!!!!! just the name "mommy bloggers" makes me want to vomit.
ww should be asking for their money back. i can't believe they aren't. but look at their other spokespeople. jennifer hudson? yeah right she lost her weight with them. more like maintaining the weight after she had lap band. she never says she "lost" the weight with ww. i thought the same thing with jessucka here, but i dont know. dont know if lap band is ok when you're pregnant. still dont like her.
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"It's called a party bus! Not a punch-a-titty bus. And put your MetroCard away, Chris Brown, no such bus exists." MK
Submitted by NeverEclipsed on Fri, 12/28/2012 - 2:20am.
Ugh gross height difference! That really grosses me out.
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what? I have to say, that is one of the most stupid comments I have ever read.
JFC.
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Back when Mark Walhberg was Marky Mark
This is how we used to make the party start
We used to mix Hen' with Bacardi Dark
And when it kicks in you can hardly talk
Ugh gross height difference! That really grosses me out. Now I realize why Nick Lachey always seemed taller than he was.
but you know most new mothers don't have time to analyze this crap. They see a young, beautiful, famous, rich woman endorsing a product which could help them, they can relate to! and it's enough.
how did she make it? join WW!! For a life of diet misery, while supporting us, not the other way around, like that filthy rich bitch we paid millions to.
cuz I guess the old moderation and exercise routine is too cheap and blah. anyone can do it!
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
I don't know what WW is thinking....is it really gonna boast their sales to get her as a spokeswhore? Don't ya think women know and can tell better? would it have been a little sounder and gullible (sick diet freaks) to put an everyday woman in after she gave birth and follow her through the process? are we all so media/fame/idol influenced that pitching a celebrity millionairess for more millions would make you buy into their garbage?
shit, shit world.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
Watch this troll's uterus turn into a clown car.
@ Dementia - it's late and I,m a little slow for picking up on references now, after x-mas and my b-day, but she ain't fighting that bulge like the rest are. and she's paid for it and given ready made meals.
and who cares apart from WW (stay on that diet for life bitch then, even after you give birth), if it's that awesome. have fun counting fat, calories, sugars, fiber, protein, carbs and weighing each item before you pour/cook/boil,bake etc. to stay on track! and note the points for each element for every meal.
And she could just give her cook the order to do so too, so she wouldn' be bothered.
still, I can't fully hate on her.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
Submitted by CodeRed on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 8:25pm.
It reminds me of Don Adams' clueless spy, frankly. That's not an association you wanna make in people's minds.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
i just cain't hate on her, I wouldn't hate her life, you keep fuckin that chicken of the sea, girl!
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"OBAMA PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T HAVE A JOB"
"NO SORRY BUT HERE'S SOME WEED AND A VOUCHER TO GET MARRIED TO YOUR UNCLE" THANKS OBAMA
Sucky 12/19
WHAT IS THAT EVIL RED EYED SNAKE ON JESSICA'S ARM?!?!?
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
plus she's walking in the water, alongside at a lower level than he is.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
HEY! 5'4 is not considered ''A MIDGET!'' but average in NA.
:P
I think she's beautiful, but really could not care less about tracking her weight loss she's paid millions for. The same thing any woman who gives birth goes through and could use a financial boost and already made meals and snacks.
sorry not the same thing. cuz regular women don,t have a board of nannies round the clock, maids, cooks, servants at their disposition, as they focus on losing weight.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
LaChaylo -- you & I are on our own in thinking Chestica is nothing to look at. She has a big beak & butt chin -- how is that pretty? And is she a fucking midget? She looks particularly stumpy in these pictures -- YUCK!!!
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"I'm from Chicago, bitch!"
"LEAVE THE COUNTRY BEARS ALLLLLOOONEEEE!!!!"
-- christine the hoff
Tag Puss-ay Abuse. Ha!hahaha!
She's one ugly heifer with that nose and butt chin.
Yikes.
Why is he like 9 feet tall?
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Tue, 09/25/2012 - 10:33pm.
"This bitch is crazier than a pillowcase full of clear-level scientologist possums."
The return of Jabba the Slut.
"Let them all boil in their own hotdog juice." Deb 7/2012
...wow she really is just a squat little thing...
...little barrel...
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...'Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason '...
it (Maxwell) also has an oil tycoon old money filthy rich Texan ring to it.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
Submitted by DianaDeath on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 8:14pm.
I still CAN'T with that fucking name "Maxwell"!!
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first of all it's a Boy name, not even what do you call it....like an androgynous name, like Leslie.
second, it reminds me of my instant coffee. Maxwell House.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 8:13pm.
I don't think you can while pregnant, but you can while breastfeeding.
is she sinking into the sand?
I still CAN'T with that fucking name "Maxwell"!!
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"If French is the language of love, then Spanish is the language of badassery!" -MK
I might be remembering wrong,, but I thought you actually could use Weight Watchers while pregnant. They just increase the points (calories) intake for the day. It sounds crazy, but it's probably better to budget in extra healthy stuff and treats here and there than go nuts with junk food.
they're not even taking back any millions and supporting her on the condition she goes back on after (and probably for more millions). Because apparently, corps and rich people have 6 figure sums to give junkies (see Blohan 200K in free furniture, unfulfilled appearance for it, and 100K Sheen, remember to text a thanks) and celebrities who are loaded for the next 15 generations to come.
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And just so all you Jenaloonies and Brangeloonies know I would read JA's biography if I found it at the dollar store, too. (...) - Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Thu, 12/27/2012 - 1:09am.
She seems nice and is very pretty and blah blah, but I'm getting tired of hearing about her weight. She should have more to offer as a business woman and a singer. That being said, she is one lucky petite woman to have such a tall hunk of a man. Very sexy combination, imo.
Oh god she is going to be pregnant for 3 years! This is all we are going to hear about from her.
She already announced she is pregnant, why hide your bump? We know your going to get big bitch. Coming to a JC Penny near you soon Jessica Simpsons executive line of Moo Moo's.
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
this guy is totally gonna cheat on her and will stick around as long as he can, she looks like she has low self esteem. hes a golddigging layabout. i believe he dumped his first wife for jessica. greener pastures? he knew what she longed for, stability, family , and he longed for her green plus shes a cute girl....jmo
Great...another elephant length pregnancy cycle. She was HUGE for months and months and months...seemed like she was pregnant forever. WW must be sooo pissed at her. I hope they took the money back.
<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<^>^<
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!
lol! i just noticed the "pussy abuse" tag..
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
I think she's pretty, too. And she's one of the few women with brown eyes who looks right with blonde hair.
You know he's thinking "Wow it sure is pretty here and I don't have to pay for a thing - ever!"
She's probably further along tan we think, so she's hiding the bump. No hate for her. She looks happy. I'm expecting at least 2 more pregnancies.
She really is a pretty girl. There are a lot of ways where she is low class and a hot mess, but she has also had a great deal of success by her own wits and hard work. She isn't an idiot. Nothing has just been handed to her. She hasn't crashed and burned. No one gave her a hand out. I'm happy for her. She's kind of unique.
Annoyed.
Her man should be in the gold digger hall of fame. He could teach a class on how it's done. Bravo.
Everyone knows she's pregnant, she's announced it to the world, she's a huge attention-whore, so why is she hiding her bump?
No shock. Bitch uses babies for diet control.
Meh, if Weight Watchers can afford to pay this uncommitted unfocused dumb ho the money they did, they're paying too much in meeting fees.
Sweetas, you're doing a great job. :)
The Return of Slutty Brownies.
Our Lady of Pregnancy Farts.
Eek.
"This fuckery could also double as an anthem for cats in the workforce." - Michael K, 5/1/12.
Hmm, I think she's fast becoming a member of my
'INEVEREVERWANTTOHEARABOUTTHEMEVERAGAIN' list.