Amanda Bynes: Bitch Can't Drive
Amanda Bynes was reportedly involved in ANOTHER vehicular hit-n-run. The victim claims Amanda clipped her on the 101 in the San Fernando Valley on April 10th and then sped off. The person she massaged bumpers with gave chase after recording the license plate number and noting who she was. Amanda and her BMW ran a red light and escaped. Fuck, once she hits something and gets her smartphone knocked out of her hand - bitch is suddenly The Driver.
She needs to start taking the driver's ed car, complete with a passenger-side set of brakes and a cantankerous-ass driver's ed teacher willing to use them. This crazy bitch. You know the reason why she's taking out cars left and right is because she's always texting or she discovers tiny spots on her big mug in her mirror that the spray tan cannon somehow missed. And panics.
Also, she compounds her idiocy by driving off like they won't find her. It's 2012. The only people who commit crimes anymore are fools. There are cameras everywhere, every move you make is recorded on someone's server, you leave DNA wherever you go, and people want to get on TV so they'll totally sell your ass out. The victim of Amanda's shitty driving tracked her fool ass down!
CHP showed up, ran the plate and determined it was a rental vehicle. Officers told the victim the culprit was driving an Enterprise rental car. The victim then contacted Enterprise, who told her the person who had rented the car was Amanda Bynes.
The victim then showed up at a CHP substation and ID'd Amanda from a photo lineup. And get this ... the photo of Amanda was taken just 4 days earlier -- it was her mug shot from a DUI arrest. Amanda was driving in West Hollywood on April 6 when she clipped a cop car and was immediately popped for DUI.
This doesn't end well. For pedestrians. No charges have been filed against Penny Pingleton because they need another independent witness. It's LA, if you've used a craft services table, you can behead a nun and only do a couple of days. This means Bynes is still out on the streets. Out on the streets, with no job prospects (her show and She's The Man were a long time ago) and thinking she's on the bumper cars. Look both ways, everyone. Brandy needs to visit Ms. Bynes and explain what it means to kill someone with your car.