Recalculating... Recalculating...
I interrupt our regularly scheduled celebrity fuckery to bring you this video of a girl giving you directions to her house in just 23,678 simple steps. This girl must be related to my cousins in some way, because this is exactly how they give me directions to the nearest Kmart. "Go that way down the street, make a right at the Taco Bell, go down, make a left at the second Starbucks, go up, go up, go up, make a left at the Michelle's Donuts that used to be a Winchell's Donuts, go down, keep going, keep going, keep going, then make a u-turn between the closed down Shakey's and the Del Taco, and turn right into Albertson's parking lot. Kmart's on your left. There."
They tell it with their arms too, like this girl. This is why GPS systems will never be relevant.
I just wish that this girl also told us where all the bars, Chinese massage parlors and churches are along the way, because I'm going to need a DRANK, a foot rub and a pep talk from God to get me through that journey.
via Arbroath
• 
Adorable, simply innocent and adorable.
Hahaha! Somebody give this girl a ladder or something so that she can properly give directions. She was probably standing on her tippy toes at the end!
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The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Ladder Owl!
so basically this little girl's house is just way fuckin UP.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Submitted by HangryHippo on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 3:23pm.
priceless. people here in west virginia give directions exactly like that too and i can never get anywhere
"ok so take a left at the tree with the missing branch from the storm of '72 then make a double U-turn when the falcon flies overhead but don't forget to turn right at the babbling brook..." WHAT THE FUCK Y'ALL
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
LMAO!! omg, my sister gives directions the same way. I was going to drive 100 miles by myself when I was 17 (hey, fuck off, it was the 70s) to go to her house,a nd she's like, "Ok, so take a turn at the second light...it's the second light but you'll pass some other streets first....one of the streets has a big rock by it...but not the rock painted in OSU colors, you won't pass that for four more turns...and be careful on the last road because you might hit a deer..." FUUUCK. Finally my brother in law got on the phone and said, "Ok, now let me give you directions." I got there just fine following his.
Boston Bruins-- Stanley Cup Champs 2011
Submitted by HangryHippo on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 3:23pm.
priceless. people here in west virginia give directions exactly like that too and i can never get anywhere
"ok so take a left at the tree with the missing branch from the storm of '72 then make a double U-turn when the falcon flies overhead but don't forget to turn right at the babbling brook..." WHAT THE FUCK Y'ALL
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
LMAO!! omg, my sister gives directions the same way. I was going to drive 100 miles by myself when I was 17 (hey, fuck off, it was the 70s) to go to her house,a nd she's like, "Ok, so take a turn at the second light...it's the second light but you'll pass some other streets first....one of the streets has a big rock by it...but not the rock painted in OSU colors, you won't pass that for four more turns...and be careful on the last road because you might hit a deer..." FUUUCK. Finally my brother in law got on the phone and said, "Ok, now let me give you directions." I got there just fine following his.
Boston Bruins-- Stanley Cup Champs 2011
Winchell's Donuts, Shakey's Pizza, Alberton's grocery stores....Michael K, you are making me desperately homesick for the west coast!!!
I loved Shakey's. You could walk right up to the window and watch the 'chefs' make the pizza. I can still smell and taste the crust. Damn you, Michael K, DAMN YOU!!!
lolz
Boston Bruins-- Stanley Cup Champs 2011
My 5 year-old was secretly standing behind me and watched the whole video. He said, "Her house is a really long way!" LOL!
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~Well, bless your heart~
She`s precious. Funny!!
I`m terrible at giving directions to people driving as well....like this kid, I walk everywhere and know who yards to walk through, but highways and overpasses and shit....no clue!
Submitted by HangryHippo on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 3:23pm.
priceless. people here in west virginia give directions exactly like that too and i can never get anywhere
"ok so take a left at the tree with the missing branch from the storm of '72 then make a double U-turn when the falcon flies overhead but don't forget to turn right at the babbling brook..." WHAT THE FUCK Y'ALL
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Omg you fo' sho' owe me a new keyboard now. Hahahaha!
priceless. people here in west virginia give directions exactly like that too and i can never get anywhere
"ok so take a left at the tree with the missing branch from the storm of '72 then make a double U-turn when the falcon flies overhead but don't forget to turn right at the babbling brook..." WHAT THE FUCK Y'ALL
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
LMAO at the tag "We Can All Go Home Now"
too cute (but she lost me at the mango tree)
She made me laugh and gave me that awwwww feeling you get when your human heart wakes up from it's vodka and bitchness coma. I mean, shit, I can't find the way to my own bathroom sometimes and this little girl must walk all the way back from school up, then left, than passed a house, then up, then trough someone's yard, then right... no, left... uh...
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Good
As
You
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 11:00am.
Submitted by MadgesVadge on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 10:54am.
Hahaha!! I hate that! Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda.
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AHAHAHAHAAAA!!! found my new signature.
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YES! Love it!
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 11:29am.
BWAAAAHAHHA!! Directions from San Francisco, CA to Honalulu, HI:
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
@M.E.
Thank you for my laugh of the day! You even made my hubby lol!
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
Beakers, right? HAHA! Still funny though.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 1:02pm.
this made me LOL!! ??? the fuck
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I guess it meant go straight. ? I have no idea! XD
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 11:29am.
BWAAAAHAHHA!! Directions from San Francisco, CA to Honalulu, HI:
16. Kayak across the Pacific Ocean
Entering Hawaii
2,756 mi
LOL!! Sure, just kayak 2,756 mi. Does the estimated time say, "You might be there by Christmas?"
Submitted by MrsPotatoHead on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 12:54pm.
this made me LOL!! ??? the fuck
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
I used to know an old dude who owned a sugarbush in western MA and he'd give the most fucked up directions. "So, you go down the road there and follow ya nose..." ???
Little girl in the vid is adorbz, though.
My college room-mate would give similar directions, such as, "Imagine you are at the Safe-Way on Main street, take a left, go around the big curve..." and so on.
I cannot use N, S, E, W,etc in directions, because...well. Unless I'm standing on the beach, I have no clue what way is what.
Hahahaaha
I have some family who grew up on small towns mostly on farms and their directions are all: you go this far N, turn NE, see the old well road, then go a ways W, go up to the 2nd juction, turn to there and go S... JC!! ARGH! Of course there are NO street signs to speak of, so I've given up! GIVE ME streets names or I am not going there!! So yes, can totally relate!!! Lol!
--
"What is that strange clear liquid dripping out of my eye?" MK
lmsao...snowy right to the actual point. Yeah, she did.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
ahahaha @M.E. that was hilarious! Yeah just kayak across the Pacific, you'll get there in like three months...
Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!
she so cute, and I bet she knows where to get good ganja!
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Oxygen - HAHAHA!! I feel so spayshul now.
GG - long directions? NO SHIT! Instead of leaving from SF they made me go through Oregon to Washington! Shit! That's longer than my kayak through the Pacific. LMAO!
@M.E. LMMFAO....hahahahahaaaa I had to put this as my siggy.
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16. Kayak across the Pacific Ocean
Entering Hawaii
2,756 mi - M.E. gets directions from California to Hawaii from Google - 2/10/2012
She's cuter than a basket full of puppies!
M.E - THey gave you the long way around past the stadium. You could have gone past Diamond Head. But then again I'm sketchey with directions.
BWAAAAHAHHA!! Directions from San Francisco, CA to Honalulu, HI:
San Francisco, CA
1. Head northeast on Market St toward S Van Ness Ave
46 ft
2. Take the 1st right onto S Van Ness Ave
0.4 mi
3. Merge onto US-101 S via the ramp to I-80 E/Oakland/San Jose
0.6 mi
4. Take exit 433 on the left to merge onto I-80 E toward Bay Bridge/Oakland
Partial toll road
55.1 mi
5. Take exit 56 for I-505 N/Orange Dr toward Winters/Redding/Nut Tree Rd
0.7 mi
6. Merge onto I-505 N
33.4 mi
7. Merge onto I-5 N
Passing through Oregon
Entering Washington
718 mi
8. Take exit 167 on the left toward Mercer Street
0.7 mi
9. Keep right at the fork, follow signs for Mercer St/Seattle Center and merge onto Fairview Ave N
499 ft
10. Turn left onto Valley St
0.2 mi
11. Turn right onto Westlake Ave N
1.6 mi
12. Slight right onto Fremont Ave N
0.2 mi
13. Turn right onto N 34th St
0.3 mi
14. Turn right onto Stone Way N
125 ft
15. Slight left onto N Northlake Way
0.2 mi
16. Kayak across the Pacific Ocean
Entering Hawaii
2,756 mi
17. Continue straight
0.1 mi
18. Turn left onto Kuilima Dr
0.5 mi
19. Take the 3rd right onto HI-83 W
12.4 mi
20. Continue straight onto HI-99 S/Kamehameha Hwy
6.5 mi
21. Slight left onto HI-80 S/Kamehameha Hwy
Continue to follow Kamehameha Hwy
2.1 mi
22. Take the Interstate H-2 S ramp to Honolulu
0.2 mi
23. Merge onto I-H-2 S
7.9 mi
24. Merge onto I-H-1 E
4.7 mi
25. Take exit 13B toward Halawa Hts. Stadium
0.3 mi
26. Merge onto I-H-201 E
4.1 mi
27. Merge onto I-H-1 E
2.3 mi
28. Take exit 21A for Hawai 61 toward Pali Hwy
0.2 mi
29. Keep right at the fork, follow signs for HI-61 S/Downtown and merge onto HI-61 S/Pali Hwy
Continue to follow Pali Hwy
0.4 mi
30. Continue onto Bishop St
0.2 mi
31. Turn left onto S King St
0.3 mi
32. Turn left onto Likelike St
446 ft
Honolulu, HI
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 11:20am.
Submitted by skabazzle on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 11:17am.
I think Google Maps used to do something funny where if you requested directions from mainland US to say, England, it would tell you to kayak across the Atlantic Ocean hahaha.
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LOL not sure if it still does, but yes, it used to!
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BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAH!
*goes to google maps*
Hilarious. She's SOOO cute.
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK
Submitted by Happy Hour on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 11:21am.
Hahahaha Happy Hour! I do the same thing since I'm so directionally challenged.
LOL
This is how I give directions: let me have Mr. HH call you.
Lmao @ two songs away.
I was giving directions to one of my girlfriend's on how to get back to her house from mine and she busted out laughing at my "map". She said "I wish I had some multi-colored pens cause that shit would look just like a Spirograph drawing."
Submitted by skabazzle on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 11:17am.
I think Google Maps used to do something funny where if you requested directions from mainland US to say, England, it would tell you to kayak across the Atlantic Ocean hahaha.
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LOL not sure if it still does, but yes, it used to!
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
Lol aww she was cute. My dad always gives me directions in miles and east/west/south...I'm like DAD just tell me left or right! Do I look like I know when I've driven three quarters of a mile?
I give very detailed directions to my friends who come to visit me because the highways are all confusing to people who don't live in Atlanta.
I think Google Maps used to do something funny where if you requested directions from mainland US to say, England, it would tell you to kayak across the Atlantic Ocean hahaha.
Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!
Fust you go ova' dere, go like dat.. (*arches wrist) and den you go around...
Submitted by MadgesVadge on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 10:54am.
Hahaha!! I hate that! Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda.
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AHAHAHAHAAAA!!! found my new signature.
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"Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda." ~ MadgesVadge 02/10/2012
get me two streets over in the right direction, and I'll ask someone else from there .. thanks sweetie :D
I never use east/west/north/south if I can possibly help it.
Twice, I've sent people in the wrong direction on the highway, by telling them take Route-whatever-EAST when it should have been West. Only realized it after they were long gone. :( I'm sure they were pissed with me.
I do that. * bows head*
I'm horrible at remembering street names, but I won't forget the weird shaped tree on the corner. And I do find my way, tyvm.
I am the absolute WORST at giving directions. Having lived here my whole life, I stopped looking at street names. I know the major ones, but I use buildings, landmarks, restaurants and how many stop lights to give directions.
*sits with DWM*
Garvin is awesome...for MEN! My husband moved to our town 20 yrs ago, uh, NOT a large community, and stilllll cannot get around. pppffftttt, menz! He has Flavor Flav downloaded and he screams directions at my husband! Funny.
and she is cute, she seriously is thinking that this MAN could find the house down the road.....WTFE.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 10:40am.
Submitted by Mrs. Gosling on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 10:35am.
My husband givea directions "the right way" it's so effing annoying! Go south on Maple st, then west on Maine.
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that is fucking annoying!!! don't make me look at the sun then try and remember if that bastards sets in the east or west and make calculations from that...
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Hahaha!! I hate that! Hang on, let me just whip out my compass 'cause clearly we're living in the Legend of Zelda. Just stfu, and tell me where to go from the Duane Reade on the corner.
Seriously though, this girl is adorable. And the headline is priceless. When I KNOW I'm going in the right direction, and my GPS utters the word "recalculating," it puts me through cotdam changes.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Aww, that's why I love kids. She was adorable. And she did that universal shove-the-younger-sibling-outta-the-frame that every kid does, hee hee.
I have an excellent sense of direction. If I have been somewhere once, I will always be able to get back there. And so on.
But when people give me directions, I always forget what they've said. And when I give directions, I give too many details.
Hee! She's adorable!
And Dear Autotune Gods of the Internet: Please don't feel the need to work your magic on this one.
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen