"Cuuuupid, Please Take Your Aim At Me!"
Sometimes in the wild, you come across two hot-blooded sessy beasts throwing looks at each other like they just want to get messy, and that's exactly the scene of love that went down in Malibu over the weekend when Becks laid his eyeballs on a Rob Reiner-alike with sex stuffed into his Speedos. You could cut the sexual tension with Posh's clavicle bone. Posh now knows why Becks always spoons with a big Father Christmas plushie doll every night. Here she was thinking that her sleep chattering (sleep chattering is when your mouth opens and closes real fast while you're sleeping because your stomach is hongray and it's trying to catch a fly going by or something) gave Becks the scareds. But nope! The truth is that Becks has always wanted Santa Claus to come down his chimney if I ain't being too subtle.
Just look at this picture of Becks frolicking in the sea while making fuck me eyes at Daddy Bear, and try to tell me that the song playing in his head isn't this one:
I swear, if a genie showed up and agreed to grant Becks one wish, he'd ask to be turned into a crotch patch on that bear's burgundy Speedo and he wouldn't even have to think about it. I really hope this story had several happy endings, because the love between a silver bear and an otter doesn't happen often.
Oh Becks is just pissed because these guys happened to walk into his daily staged photo- op.
*slurp*
Submitted by snowball on Tue, 08/30/2011 - 8:38am.
who looks the kesha?
I just noticed while scrolling past quickly, from the back this guy looks like Kesha without the cracktastic hair.
singing:
One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things does not belong.
Can you tell which thing is not like the others,
By the time I finish my song?
This post is made of 100% win. MK, seriously, you need to write a book.
"The truth is that Becks has always wanted Santa Claus to come down his chimney if I ain't being too subtle." HAW!
OMG, how did I miss the puppies??? SQUEEEEEE!
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"It's all fun and farts until somebody gets punched." -MK
"GREEN MILE MOTHERFUCKERS! JOHN COFFEY HELP US!" --urmomma, 8/24/11
With all that ankle fat, those two chubs should be floating in the surf, not standing.
Yeah, it's funny that ass-crack Speedo chub can't keep his eyes off of Becks, but if this creep and his pal sat there and stared at me and my kid while we were in the water like that, I'd call the Pervert Police.
Romeo and Juliet, they never felt this way I bet...
hahaha! omg that pic is just priceless.
Haha the song fits perfectly
BARF.
Double BARF.
Minnie Mouse with tattoos
Dunno Rusty, I would MUCH prefer to see pics of Becks :)
LeAnn pictures just make me sad.
Whatever happened with the Will & Jada friendship? Did Posh put an end to it because they are too freaky even for her?
Becks is just as much of a fame-whoring tool as LeAnn Rimes. Same costume changes; same fake smiles, fun, props, and frolicking; fake picture-taking and boogieboarding; same underlying talent, now heading into the sunset.
His endless hat-wearing is as bad as post-plugs Brad Pitt, Bret Michaels, or Jeremy Piven.
C'mon Becks, give Sandfuck a little "nudge nudge, wink wink"!
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"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi
"Will you vacate the beach, meathead?"
Submitted by MarvnGoldie on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 9:49pm.
So wait, is that Rob Reiner?
LOL! It does look like him as in When Hairy Looked Silly!
So wait, is that Rob Reiner? Because if it isn't, then it's my dad, and I need to be sick.
Cover up your ass, Hemingway. No one wants to look at your crack.
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"You dumb bitch, I am home."
Just when I thought Sexy Becksy was losing the hot, these pics have made me see the error of my ways. Moar nekkid!
Submitted by char on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 9:21pm.
Chaz Bono and Nancy Grace on the next Dancing with the has-beens !!!!!
Nothing says Look what a complete spaz I am better than dancing with the hasbeens.
Why is it that you never actually see attractive men wearing those? Most women do our best at the beach to cover up and hide every fat roll and imperfection possible, but it seems to me that the uglier the man the less he wears.
Damn I thought that was the Wicked Game video. Why is Cherish even on the Immaculate Collection?
Chaz Bono and Nancy Grace on the next Dancing with the has-beens !!!!!
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I'm countin' on Jesus at this point.
'Cherish' is the only Madge song (and vid) I've ever been able to suffer.
♪Romeo and Juliet, they never felt this way I bet♪
Silly, but fun. :)
Amy
I HATE guys like this. NOBODY wants to see you. Put some damn trunks on. Damn, this is one of my biggest pet peeves. Meanwhile Becks is in trunks down to his f-ing knees. Go figure.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
That looks like my dog in the background of pic #8.
But men, listen PLEASE from a straight female...NO MATTER what size you are PLEASE wear board shorts to the beach!
Submitted by guest on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 8:04pm.
I see... Hollywood already is sort of like Survivor.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 8:01pm.
You want to starve happy, huh? You know he'll wanna talk about stuff, right? Which'll be kinda cute for about three days... On the other hand, as you waste away, he'll never accuse you of being too thin.
Thank the Good Lord ALMIGHTY! I needed some major beauty to cleanse my eyes of that plastic bush shit.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't hit back, just keep thrusting. Make that transfer, bitch!- MK 7/26/11
Rusty...the cast is composed of the cast offs from both the bachelor & bachelorette. They hook-up & form alliances...kinda like a hollywood style survivor. They're competing for $250k.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 7:59pm.
Uh Becks. No contest. Haha.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 7:47pm.
Uh-huh. Who'd you rather have on a desert isle: Becks or Chubs?
Submitted by guest on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 7:42pm.
Bachelor Pad...lol. I'm mature.
Ahhhh. Is it good? It's about bachelors, right? Doing single stuff? :)
There ought to be a law...
Submitted by Granny Clampett on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 7:39pm. Becks needs to swap bathing suits with the fat guy...and then remove the fat guy from the picture all together...and it would be the perfect photo
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Haha...*exactly* what I was thinking. Daddy Warbucks there looks like he's comfortable in his skin.
Most men don't let a little thing like an extra 50 pounds damage their self-esteem. They still strut
around like they're as sessy as all get out.
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cannot wait for mk to post on the dwts cast.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 7:37pm
LOL. Becks. Love him. Don't care if he sounds like Mickey.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Rusty...Bachelor Pad...lol. I'm mature.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by Granny Clampett on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 7:39pm.
Becks needs to swap bathing suits with the fat guy.
Or Madonna.
Becks needs to swap bathing suits with the fat guy...and then remove the fat guy from the picture all together...and it would be the perfect photo
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 7:35pm.
He is so hot. *drool*
Be more specific.
............
HR: Several clients have complained about receiving emails from a mrshits@pisscompany.com.
Employee: Yeah, that’ll be me, working from home after a few drinks.
Submitted by guest on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 7:31pm.
Sorry, I'm dum: What is BP?
............
HR: Several clients have complained about receiving emails from a mrshits@pisscompany.com.
Employee: Yeah, that’ll be me, working from home after a few drinks.
He is so hot. *drool*
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
dwts announcement...*holds bref* they went to pimp momma kris before the break for a hint.
The hell..back to bp.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
I really don't like the tats or even Beck's face/voice, but his abdomen is delightful.
lmao @ the cherish video.
Imma watching bp...this is like a scene from indecent proposal right now. Holly just spent the nite with Blake...got back 2 the house & Michael's all I luff you. So many tears with sad music playing. Boofuckinghoo.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
It's a win-win for Posh'n'Becks: she gets access to all of the best plastics surgeons, he gets to check out rich bears in the wilds of Malibu.
Submitted by mrs.tobiasfunke on Mon, 08/29/2011 - 7:03pm.
PUPPIES!!!!!
Notice the one is running away from him. What happened was that he whispered to it and the dog mistook the sound of his voice for a dog whistle.
Looks like they're moving in for the kill in the fourth tier of thumbs.
It's feeding time!