Andy Somora and Anna Pastuszwska’s July 19th wedding started out as a fancy affair. They were married on the beach in Lakeside, Michigan and their reception was held at a nearby art gallery. It was also going smoothly until the booze came out. That’ll do it! Their guests started drinking like Wino at happy hour. It got so out of control that one guest even threw a metal lamp through a glass window. That’s when the gallery owner called the police.
When the police arrived he found a group of drunken monkeys making a mess. The officer at the scene said he witnessed one guest drinking vodka straight out of the bottle. Hmmm…I don’t remember attending a wedding reception on July 19th in Michigan.
The police and the gallery owner tried to break up the party, but the bride and groom were not having it. The chief prosecutor on the case told The Chicago Sun-Times, “Andy got angry and started yelling, ‘What are you doing? This is my wedding! You’re making my wife cry! The crowd was trying to hold back the groom from mouthing off more, but finally he broke free, and they had to take him down.”
Andy headed for the officers and his drunk ass wife moved in to try and stop him. That’s when an officer tasered Andy’s ass. Anna also got shocked because she was holding on to her new husband. One of the guests said the police totally overreacted, “Imagine the kids and grandma seeing the bride and groom getting Tasered on the floor.” Shit! That’s better than watching the lame band! That should become a new tradition. You may now TASER the groom!
Andy and Anna were arrested and thrown in separate jail cells where they spent the night. Andy was charged with resisting police, a felony. He has already pleaded guilty and could face up to 30 days in jail. Anna also pleaded guilty to a reduced charge of resisting an officer. She was fined $600.
This shit gets even better (or worse depending on who you are). Two nights later, Anna and Andy were arrested again in Michigan after police responded to a noise complaint. The two newly married douchebags once again fought with police. They got tasered AGAIN! Tasered twice in one week! Andy was charged with pushing his new wife down the stairs, but the charge was later dropped as part of a plea bargain.
This is the romance of our time! If they make it their first year anniversary, they should celebrate by tasering each other! A couple that gets tasered together,
fries stays together.