Radar reports that Shia LaFabulous (government name: Drake LaBry) is no longer wet riding on Glamberace's unicorn horn, because the two have called it a day. Apparently, Drake packed up his tweezers and suspenders after taking one look at Glamberace's album cover. Even Drake could not condone that kind of fuckery. No, one source said that the relationship just reached its expiration date and the two are still friends.
Drake probably just woke up and realized he was sick of spending most of his day scrubbing out glitter sperm, rainbow smegma and black eyeliner from his sheets. It can be messy sharing a bed with a magical alien unicorn like Glamberace.
(Image: Pacific Coast News)
Before Ben Maisani was flexing his triple-wide muscles all over India with The Silver Fox, he might have been touching lips with Mr. Schu from Glee (aka Matthew Morrison). Over at ONTD, they posted this picture (taken pre-Mah Boo time) of Ben hugging on a sexy piece. They seem to think it's Mr. Schu himself. But let's bring in the CSI: Dlisted team to analyze:
Hmm... Well, the space between the eyebrows and hairline seem off. Matthew has a mole, but the dude on the left doesn't. Also, the earlobes aren't exactly twins. I don't think it's him. Oh, and one more thing: SOMEBODY PLEASE GET ME A FUCKING LIFE! STAT!
Mah Boo doesn't have anything to worry about. I'm sure he can out-dance, out-sing and out-Glee Mr. Schu any day of the week.
(Image Source: Twerking)
Detective La Toya spent her Halloween night bestowing her crime-solving glamour upon all her fans (don't laugh) at the famewhore headquarters known as Millions of Milkshakes in Los Angeles. Since Detective La Toya's mind is always on getting to the bottom of EVERYTHING, she dressed up as the disco torch she uses to search the cobblestone streets for clues. And you don't need a magnifying glass (or a P.I. license) to see La Toya's built-in camel toe.
When I heard Mimi was HOsting her own Halloween party in NYC, I figured she would go dressed as a slutty butterfly, a slutty rainbow, a slutty unicorn taxidermy, a slutty Hello Kitty, a slutty Eminem, or a slutty Precious. But Mimi really flipped the world upside down by stuffing her glazed ham hocks and buttermilk biscuits into a slutty angel costume. Such a shapeshifter, that Mimi!
And Mimi's bought-and-paid-for husband really outdid himself by going as one of The Empress of Lucite's vagina drops. Yes, Shauna Sand's lady jizz has angels wings and everything.
Meanwhile, in L.A., Wonky went to Heidi Klum's Halloween party dressed up as a slutty slut slut slut slut slut. You know, wearing Liberace's rhinestone shoe horn on her forehead only points out the brutal fact that one of her eyes is constantly suffering from jizz squint.
And it was a little weird that Doug Reinhardt didn't dress up. He must have gotten his fill the night before.
I didn't even have to blink twice before figuring out who Cojo dressed up as to Heidi Klum's Halloween party last night. When my dog ran out of the room screaming, I knew that only one beast could instill that kind of fear into small furry animals: KHLOE KARDASHIAN!!!!!!
Cojo makes a better Khloe Kardashian than Khloe Kardashian does. And he nailed that "hongray for woodland creatures" look in his eye. It's so real! You're expecting him to yank that veil off, howl at the moon and then gallop off into the darkness. Just like the real Khloe.
Although, my only criticism is that he could've used more arm and upper lip hair for authenticity. Other than that, Cojo triumphed as Khloe. You know Lamar Odom will be busting into face seizures all day from jacking off to these pictures like maniac. I wouldn't be surprised if he calls it off with Khloe and proposes to KhloJo instead.
Roxanne aka Alex Reid's alter ego - Okay, the time has really come to give Roxanne a few dick claps for effort, because I've seen more of his satin-wrapped peen than I have of Lady CaCa's. Of course, you knew Roxanne was going to do it big on Whoreoween and the bitch did. Roxanne gave his taint the night off and decided to let the dick hang out. TUCK GAME FAIL, but the kinky ho wasn't even trying. Roxanne wanted his wang to come out and play along with his pimply freshly whipped nalgas. And I'm sure they were whipped by Katie Price's tail. We know who wears the butt dick in the relationship.
Here's Roxanne looking succulently sessy last night. I bet if you put lipstick on a boiled nutsack, it wouldn't look as nearly as hot as Roxanne's face. Do it, girl!
I also threw in some pictures of Katie wearing an outfit she usually wears when she picks up Harvey from school. It's her "Mother of the Hour" ensemble.
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