These days, people wring their hands over The Singularity, fearing the day our robot friends will get too smart, turn on humanity, and begin using us as their subservient play things. But judging from the results of last night’s 92nd annual Scripps National Spelling Bee, it’s not the robots we should be worried about. It’s THE CHILDREN! For the first time in history, 8 winners were crowned when the grown-ups ran out of words with which to challenge the contestants. The children, they’re alive and hellbent on wor(l)d domination!
One of the most famous girls of the 90s, Blossom has a very important message for people who call anyone too old to wear a Blossom hat a “girl.” Last Thursday, Mayim Bialik posted a video on her YouTube channel with some thoughts on the matter called Girl vs. Woman: Why Language Matters. Mayim’s expertise in language clearly doesn’t lie in the language of YouTube videos, otherwise she’d know you’re required to start by saying: “Hey everyone, welcome back to my channel!”
Mayim really doesn’t like it when people refer to women in what Mayim calls “that super-narrow age range between 5-years-old and 55-years-old” as “girls.” Mayim’s teachable moment came after she was in a bar with two of her 40-year-old guy friends, and one of them called someone a “girl.” Mayim points out that adult men are seldom called “boys“, which sets up an unintentional imbalance and makes women seem inferior.
“When we use words to describe adult women that are typically used to describe children, it changes the way we view women, even unconsciously, so that we don’t equate them with adult men. In fact, it implies that they are inferior to men.”
She adds that calling a grown-ass woman a “girl” is outdated and insensitive, and that we know better now.
I’m with Mayim on this one. But that’s not to say it doesn’t come at a “be careful what you wish for” price. There’s something about hearing an employee at McDonald’s shout “this woman wants three extra slices of cheese on her cheeseburger” that is just so much more humiliating. It’s like a shady one-word way to tell someone they’re too old to still be treating their body like a dumpster. I really don’t need strangers to remind me of that.
It’s been almost two months since Mariah Carey’s now-iconic bomb of a performance in Times Square, and most have moved on and the only time anyone ever really thinks about it is when they see it at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, where it’s currently on display in the American Masterpieces Collection (no, it’s not, but it should be). But the glittery fart that Mimi dropped on New Year’s Eve is still on the minds of Rolling Stone and Mimi herself. And I’m glad it is, because when she talked about it with Rolling Stone, her butterfly mouth produced several verbal jewels, like how she’d die if she stepped into reality.
Fresh off from looking Melania Trump up and down before saying that he’d never dress her because she’s simply not his image, Tom Ford has opened up his brain to GQ and released thought bubbles on everything from puppies dying to his son’s tacky shoes to the abomination that is sweatpants to how men truly aren’t woke until their buttholes are awoken by a hard dick (or a dildo). And thanks to that last one, Professor Tom Ford has just replaced Professor Megan Fox as my favorite brain fart producer.
Some things continue to shock me. Like the beauty of a sunset or the smell of Chinatown garbage in the summer. These are just wonders of the world I suppose. Much like Amber Rose and her ability to get money and stay in the public eye. She has a VH1 talk show coming out, which means she needs to step up the media game and get that “watch my show!” press. In her latest push, Amber gives us her thoughts on pop singer and noted lover (then hater) of men, Taylor Swift.
Last night, Khlozilla went on a painkiller-induced Sasquatch rampage on Twitter when she told people to get off dick after they gave her shit for staying with her boyfriend James Harden while still nursing and being married to Lamar Odom. But well, if you ask the most important woman in Hollywood and human orchid Paz De La Huerta about this, she’d tell you that little Twitter tussle should’ve never happened, because nobody should be following the Kartrashians.
On her Instagram yesterday, the greasy jewel delivered an important announcement to the world and to Kanye Kartrashian. There’s a war happening right now and we do not need to be distracted by that idiot trash Kim Kartrashian! Paz deleted her post (it still lives here), because she probably realized that in posting about Kim, she was giving Kim attention. Or she decided that she’ll save that speech for when she testifies at the anti-Kardashian hearings at the United Nations. Seriously, why aren’t Paz and Natasha from Top Model the co-leaders of the United Nations? #PazBeGandhiAndJesus.
And since no Paz post is complete without stunning pictures of her, here she is back in April looking like heaven in a trash bag.
Pics: Splash (Thanks Philip!)