Category: The It Couple Of Our Time
Julia Fox Gave Herself And Kanye West A Couple’s Portmanteau And Talked To Vogue About Her Fashion Evolution
The cheek, the nerve, the gall, the audacity, and the gumption! Julia Fox has gone ahead and given herself and Kanye West a couple’s nickname, clearly overstepping the bounds of the social contract between notable personality (to use the term celebrity would be a streeeeetch here) and the community taking note. Julia, still aglow with the excitement of running around Paris in broad daylight looking like an evacuee flushed from a subterranean fetish club after a gas leak, posted her first contractually permitted photo of her and Kanye on Instagram (Stories only, as per section 2.9, b., ii) with the caption “Juliye” coupled with a single black heart emoji. That was OUR couple’s name to give! Now we’re going to have to come up with something else because I will not give her the satisfaction. So enjoy your doomed relationship, Foxnfriend! I hope it was worth it.
Richard Madden And Brandon Flynn Had Their Arms Around Each Other (GASP!) After Buying “Marijuana Cigarettes” (DOUBLE GASP!)
Thousands of gays, and people who get into Scottish daddy on Yankee twink action, were hospitalized yesterday with severe dehydration after they slobbered gallons of bodily fluids from all their holes after seeing pictures of Panty Creamer Richard Madden (of Bodyguard, Rocketman and Game of Thrones) and Brandon Flynn (of 13 Reasons Why) getting all cozy in Los Angeles over the weekend. Richard and Brandon were papped with their arms around each other after buying “marijuana cigarettes” (REEFER MADNESS!). So of course, many now think that Richard Madden is bi and that he and Brandon are totally doing it, and after they bought those “marijuana cigarettes” (yes, the year is 1966) they went home, got naked, and Richard blew “marijuana cigarette” smoke into Brandon’s b-hole before doing him. Get me a wet vac and a stretcher, because I just slobbered out a lake from that image and I now need medical attention.
Behold, Our Newest Power Couple…If The Year Was 1990
When I saw the headline “Richard Marx and Daisy Fuentes Tie The Knot” yesterday, I thought that the mixture of my grade 10 hangover and the buzz I was working on caused me to hallucinate because this story is a beautiful fever dream from the 90s.
I am a terrible child of the 80s, because I should be following Richard Marx on Instagram. If I did, I’d know that he and 90s MTV VJ Daisy Fuentes have been humping on each other for about a year. Daisy and Richard even brought the cheese by “canoodling” together in one of his videos last year. So because I had no idea that 52-year-old Richard Marx and 49-year-old Daisy Fuentes are a thing, the news about them getting married made my current self brain burp out a giant “HUH?” as my early 90s self screamed over this hot new IT couple.
Daisy and Richard got married in Aspen, CO on December 23rd. They’ve both been married before. Daisy was married to that hot piece Timothy Adams from Sunset Beach for a few years in the 90s. Last year, Richard got divorced from Cynthia Rhodes (aka Penny in Dirty Dancing) after being married to each other for 25 years. I know, Richard Marx leaving Penny from Dirty Dancing to marry Daisy Fuentes is too much. I need a Zima.
Both Richard, who looks like a low-budget Harry Connick Jr. wax figure, and Daisy have thrown up a few pictures from their winter wonderland wedding on Instagram. I appreciate the ultra dramatic “Alexis Carrington in Doctor Zhivago” poses that Daisy’s trying to deliver, but these two as a couple is still weird to me. It’s like a random famous type from the 80s and a random type from the 90s were just randomly thrown together. I guess Richard was just right there waiting for Daisy since the 90s…
With that being said, I’m all for it. It’s also nice to see a couple bonding over their mutual love of Photoshop, Botox and overusing Instagram filters.
Pics: @daisyfuentes, @therichardmarx