Category: Sportsballs

The NBA, WNBA, MLB, MLS, And Naomi Osaka All Went On Strike To Protest Against Police Brutality

August 27, 2020 / Posted by:

The Milwaukee Bucks were supposed to play the Orlando Magic in the NBA playoffs last night, but the game did not go on, because the Bucks decided to strike against systematic racism and police brutality, like the police killing of Breonna Taylor and the shooting of Jacob Blake, a Black man who has been left partially paralyzed after Officer Rusten Sheskey shot him seven times as he walked to his car in Kenosha, Wisconsin. The NBA was in a quarantine bubble because of the pandemic, but it was systemic racism that popped that shit open and players had it. After the Bucks’ announcement, the NBA announced that all three playoff games would not go down last night and would be postponed. That led to the WNBA, a handful of Major League Baseball teams, some Major League Soccer teams, and tennis star Naomi Osaka all using their voices and fame to bring attention to police brutality. Kenny Smith of TNT’s Inside The NBA also walked out in solidarity. Meanwhile, side-eyes were thrown at the NHL for going on with their games. But they did put up an “End Racism” graphic on a screen during a game in Toronto and the announcer called for their community to stand up for social justice.

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Jennifer Lopez And A-Rod Are Reportedly Trying To Buy The New York Mets

April 21, 2020 / Posted by:

Today in business and sports news (sigh), Jennifer Lopez and her current fiancée, Alex Rodriguez, whose combined net worth is reportedly about $700 million, “have retained JPMorgan Chase to raise capital for a possible bid on the New York Mets.” Translation: JLo and A-Rod partnered with some big money companies to try and buy a baseball team.

Damn, when those two finally get hitched, that divorce is going to be a doozy. Continue reading

People Are Eating Tubs Of “Mayonnaise” At Sporting Events For Twitter Fame

June 19, 2019 / Posted by:

People are bringing large tubs of “mayonnaise” to sporting events and eating what they want you to think is mayonnaise out of said tub. Presumably as a prank or to get attention on social media. And honestly, I don’t know much about sports but it feels disrespectful to mayonnaise. Mayonnaise is meant to be enjoyed in moderation and not eaten tubs at a time. And if you’re going to eat straight mayonnaise from a tub, do it where no one can see you, like under your bed or in an alley late at night. Not at a public baseball game!

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Drake Was Doing The Most At The NBA Finals

May 31, 2019 / Posted by:

Because he is very, very wealthy, non-athletic Canadian dweeb Aubrey Graham successfully bought his way onto the court at the NBA finals, and acted a fool. Last night in Toronto, Drake’s home team, the Toronto Raptors, hosted the reigning world champions and my home team, the Golden State Warriors, in the first game of the series. But this isn’t about me and Drake repping different hoods. This is about Drake disrespecting the game with his childish antics. Also, I only knew it was the finals because I noticed a lot of people walking around in Golden State attire last night and put 2 and 2 together. 2+2 = Sportsball!

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Jose Canseco’s Ex-Wife Denies Ever Sleeping With Alex Rodriguez (But Alex Rodriquez’s Ex May Think Otherwise)

March 13, 2019 / Posted by:

Alex Rodriguez and Jose Canseco are now involved in both the 3rd and 4th biggest baseball cheating scandals in the history of baseball. The ranking goes:

#1 – The 1919 White Sox.

#2 – That time Phillie Phanatic came up pregnant with Gritty’s baby.

#3 – The BALCO doping scandal.

#4 –  This whole mess.

And two new players just ran onto the field. Jose’s ex-wife Jessica Canseco had to reinstall Twitter on her phone in order to clear her name after Jose accused her of having an affair with Jennifer Lopez’s fiance Alex. And Alex’s ex-girlfriend Torrie Wilson has been quietly subtweeting the drama and insinuating that Alex is indeed a ho, and that maybe Jose is on to something.

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Steph Curry Doesn’t Believe We’ve Actually Been To The Moon

December 12, 2018 / Posted by:

Somebody needs to tell Steph Curry that repeated viewings of Space Jam does mean you’re a qualified space expert. It means you’re a qualified Space Jam expert, and those are two very different things. According to ESPN, Steph and fellow NBA persons Vince Carter and Kent Bazemore, don’t believe the moon landing ever happened. But Bugs Bunny dunking on Michael Jordan is totally believable.

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