Do you know how news outlets have pre-written obituaries on hand for super-old celebrities? Well, we need that kinda thing for Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson breaking up and getting back together. Cuz my fingers are tired. Alas, here we go again! Way back in June, Khloe, 37, and Tristan, 30, broke up after many, many cheating accusations. This was about a year after they pandemic-reconciled while self-isolating together. The break-up before that was the Jordyn Woods scandal of February 2019. And 2018 was when he got caught cheating while Khloe was about to give birth to their now-3-year-old daughter, True. Cut to today: In Touch reports that Khloe and Tristan are back together because he’s promised “to do better” and “things will be different this time.” HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA…(cont’d)
Our long national nightmare is finally over, Keeping Up With The Kardashians is officially done after 20 seasons. The final episode of KUWTK aired last week on June 10. And I assume that on June 11th, Kris Jenner woke up in a cold sweat-covered panic, freaking out about not getting attention. I don’t know for sure if Kris called Kylie Jenner and cried, “People can only care so much about Kim failing her bar exams! Quick! Do something!” But lo and behold, Kylie Jenner got some attention last night when her on-again/off-again boyfriend Travis Scott called her “wifey” in an acceptance speech at a benefit event.
Jennifer Aniston And David Schwimmer Admitted They Had A Crush On Each Other, And Other Moments From The “Friends” Reunion Special
The reviews for the Friends reunion special are in, and well, it certainly happened. The whole gang was there: Matthew Perry, Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc, and David Schwimmer. And as we saw in the trailer, they sat on a couch in front of the Friends fountain, and host James Corden was there to “toss softballs at the cast and cackle hysterically at mundane gossip” which contributed “to the perception of ‘Friends’ as shallow and superficial,” per Indiewire.
Esquire called James “a giant toddler in a velvet suit” and NPR said he was in “soul-sucking phone-it-in mode” and “comes off as a man reading off cards for money.” But hey, at least Lady Gaga was there with a gospel choir, (4 of whom were Black!) to sing Smelly Cat with Lisa, and special guest Justin Bieber didn’t have a speaking part. So it wasn’t all bad! Overall, the Friends reunion earned double FF on its report card. Which stands for Friends Forever — even though Lisa and Courteney both made it absolutely crystal clear that this would never, ever, ever happen again.
I don’t know about you, but I am so ready for The One I Accidentally Pushed Play On While Scrolling! The long ballyhooed Friends reunion is set to premiere on HBO Max next week, and while I was originally going to call it The One Nobody Asked For, that’s not even remotely accurate. In fact, so many people asked for this that HBO reportedly ponied up as much as $4 million per Friend to get them all on board. And now there’s a trailer. You made Matthew Perry log off of Raya and find a clean shirt. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!
IT’S HAPPENING! The Benniferaissance is upon us! As we enter into this glorious golden age of renewal, reawakening, and restunting, please be aware that poor Ana de Armas is probably despondent over not waiting until Bond 25 came out before allowing her cardboard cutout to be thrown in the trash. According to E! News, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez spent the week together at the Yellowstone Club, a luxury resort in Montana. However, TMZ says they were staying at the Big Sky Resort. Either way, it doesn’t matter as long as there was a tanning bed at the spa. Ben has to get a solid base going before they make it official. It’s been almost 20 years — a spray tan just isn’t going to cut it anymore.
With all the recent talk that a possible Benniferaissance may soon be upon us, Ben Affleck’s ex-wife Jennifer Garner might be feeling a little left out of the mix. Maybe that’s why we are now hearing that she and Robot Hamburger Man John Miller “are giving their relationship another go,” according to Us Weekly. Is the world ready for Bennifer v Burgerfer duking it out for the paparazzi’s attention? Yes. Please, bring it on. But sadly Bugerfer is no competition for the potent mix of post-Ana de Armas Ben and post-Alex Rodriquz Jennifer Lopez who wield the collective power of the early aughts. #PoweredByJuicyCouture