Category: People’s Sexiest Man Alive
Chris Evans Is People’s Sexiest Man Alive Of 2022
To many, Chris Evans is considered their Best Chris (and yes, those people obviously don’t know about the piping hot total package that is Christopher Lloyd). And last night, People Magazine declared that not only do they think that Chris Evans is the sexiest man with a pulse named Chris, but he’s also the sexiest man of all sexiest men alive. So, somewhere Chris Evans’ publicist is soothing their worn-out muscles in a BenGay bath after successfully winning a wrestling tournament in People’s offices against the other publicists who wanted to win this totally real title for their client. Sorry, Austin Butler’s rep, do your chin-ups and pull-ups, and you’ll beat those tricks next year.
While Chris Evans being named this year’s Sexiest Man Alive, may make some people ask, “When we turned back the clocks on Sunday, did we turn them all the way back to 2019?“, this choice being three years late doesn’t bother me. But what does bother me is that People put Chris Evans on the cover of their Sexiest Man Alive issue and didn’t feature the best thing about him, his dog DODGER EVANS! Journalistic integrity: People Magazine has none!
People Magazine FINALLY Names Paul Rudd As The 2021 Sexiest Man Alive
There was a rumor last week that People magazine was planning to crown Chris Evans, arguably one of the best Chrises, as this year’s Sexiest Man Alive. Well, as you can see by the forever-ageless visage staring back at you on the cover above, that honor did not actually go to Chris Evans after all. Not this specific honor, at least (he’ll always be Lizzo’s Sexiest Man Alive). Instead, People decided to name another Marvel hunk as the sexiest man with a pulse, and that’s many people’s ground zero for aggressively horny feelings, Paul Rudd.
Chris Evans Is Reportedly Going To Be Named People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” Next Week
I’ve thought Chris Evans was a sexy man who is alive since I learned about his infamous 2004 Flaunt Magazine photoshoot. But society has quickly caught up and he’s been one of the top three Good Chrises for years now. This year, Page Six has heard from multiple sources that Chris–who may or may not be dating Selena Gomez–will be crowned People’s Sexiest Man Alive of 2021.
BREAKING: A Dude From “The Voice” Was Not Named People’s Sexiest Man Alive Of 2020
Somewhere in The Voice’s studios, Carson Daly and Nick Jonas are each wrapped in a comforting Snuggie and throwing flaming stank eyes at their show’s PR team for somehow managing to get People Magazine to name fucking Blake Shelton and Adam Levine its Sexiest Man Alive but yet they remain unsexy chopped liver! Because People has named its Sexiest Man Alive! for 2020 and it isn’t a dude who gets a check for spinning in that red chair. And yes, Michael B. Jordan is a man, is sexy, and is Alive!, but if People gave Gritty that title, we’d all shrug and go, “I’m no furry, but still better than Blake Shelton.”