Morning Crumbs

Something called a Hollywood Foreign Press Grants Benefit happened last night and what in patient at a hospital run by monks HELL did Patricia Arquette wear? – Celebitchy

A third Bad Boys movie directed by Michael Bay is probably going to happen, because Hollywood’s Satanic orb of a heart lives to torture us and gives us shit we don’t want instead of giving us shit we really want like a full-length Skank Robbers movie – Lainey Gossip

Ramona Singer calls 911 after she thinks her husband’s side piece turned main piece stalked her. Um, bitch needs to stop chasing her Ramona Pinot Grigio shots with coke – Reality Tea

The innocence of thousands of Christian children is lost thanks to something called “nipples” which everyone has – WWTDD

Um, somebody tell Aubrey Ho’Day that Spring Breakers already filmed and came out so she can stop auditioning for it – Drunken Stepfather

Harry Potter (more like Hairy Pothole) talks about ass waxing – Towleroad

MiserAlba being MiserAlba, but I guess you would be miserable too if your crotch was covered in several layers of sweat syrup thanks to you wearing leather pants on a flight from NYC to LA – Popoholic

The definition of pure sisterly elegance is CoCo and her rubber hams posing next to her sister while they’re both wearing lingerie – The Superficial

But why is Naya Rivera suddenly dressing like she’s the femme fatale in a really shitty, no-budget straight-to-the-Redbox-clearance-section spy movie? – Hollywood Tuna

The doggy kissing booth is Lucy from Peanuts’ night terror come to life – Jezebel

That picture of Lindsay Lohan looks like a coked-up wax figure that’s being fixed after it melted halfway – The Berry

These Tom Hardy pictures are not complete without a puppy – ICYDK

Michael J. Fox had a few words to say about Robin Williams having Parkinson’s Disease – HuffPo

Here’s some promo pictures from season 5 of Downton Abbey and sadly, the plastic, fame-whoring water bottle doesn’t make an appearance – Pajiba

The Emmys presenters list needs more Joan Collins and Charo – Popsugar

Arlene Martel has been beamed up to heaven – Boy Culture

Tony Parker got married – Just Jared

Jessica Biel is no Laura Jeanne Poon – SOW

Christy Mack’s fellow porn stars are raising money for her reconstructive surgery costs – Popbytes