Joel Schumacher Has Probably Sexed On Many, Many, Many More People Than You

Legendary director (and yes, I’m giving him “legendary” status solely due to him directing and executive producing 2000 Malibu Road!) Joel Schumacher is 80 years old today, and he’s lived A LIFE! And he gave us all a little keyhole view into his life with a wide-wide-wiiiiiiide-ranging interview with Andrew Goldman for Vulture. Joel took us on a journey from his days as a NYC costume designer in the 1970s to how Val Kilmer was psychotic on the set of Batman Forever to much, much more. I also learned that Joel started boozing at 9 years old, screamed, “This movie’s about people who got laid,” at the TV when Siskel & Ebert gave St. Elmo’s Fire a bad review, and that he’s good friends with Woody Allen and doesn’t know what to think about Dylan Farrow’s accusations against Woody.

But the part that is getting the most play is Joel saying that his fuck parts have been visited by thousands upon thousands of people. So the next time I think of putting a dirty dish in the sink instead of washing it because I just don’t have the time, I’m going to think of Joel Schumacher writing St. Elmo’s Fire while getting a train on him. Joel makes the time.

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