Category: I’ll See You In Court!

Searches for Stormy Daniels’ Content On Pornhub Have Skyrocketed Since Donald Trump’s Arrest

April 5, 2023 / Posted by:

Since Donald Trump was indicted on 34 counts of falsifying business records and was taken in to get his teeny, tiny fingerprints taken yesterday, Americans have been handling this historical event in a few different ways. Some Trump supporters crowded the NYC courthouse and Trump Tower to protest his arrest; some showed up to counter-protest; and many stayed home to process this all in another way: taking to Pornhub to see if Stormy Daniels’ downstairs was worth $130,000 and potential jail time. According to TMZ, Stormy–who’s already making a ton from her “Team Stormymerch— is also dominating Pornhub during all of this.

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Disney Pulled A Fast One On Florida Governor Ron DeSantis With A Clause That Involves King Charles III

March 30, 2023 / Posted by:

As a grand jury voted to indict Donald Trump today, his GOP nemesis, Florida governor Ron De Santis is still fighting Mickey Mouse. Last month, Ron De Santis held a big press conference to rub his decision to penalize Disney for mildly opposing his so-called “Don’t Say Gay” bill right in the nose of their gayest character, Mr. Busy the Beaver from Lady and The Tramp. But if it seemed like Disney was being awfully blase about Ron stripping them of power over the Reedy Creek Improvement District, which they’d had almost complete jurisdiction over for 50-plus years, there was a very good reason for it. According to The Guardian, Disney had an ace up their sleeve the whole time. In the days leading up to Ron’s preening announcement that there was “a new sheriff in town,” Disney and the existing Reedy Creek Governing board had quietly added a clause in their agreement that called upon a higher power; King Charles III, AKA Him? Royal Highness Charles the third, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of His other Realms and Territories King, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith, AKA Chucky Trips.

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During Gwyneth Paltrow’s Ski Accident Trial, Her Team Deployed Visual Aids And Her Daughter Recalled Her Getting A Massage After The Crash

March 29, 2023 / Posted by:

As day 6,506 seven of Gwyneth Paltrow’s ski accident trial continues to snowplow its way towards justice, and hopefully, hot toddies all around, no expense has been spared on either side. In the life-or-ego-death battle to determine which rich white person ran into the other on that fateful day in 2016, in which Gwyneth alleges she lost a half day of skiing and her accuser, Terry Sanderson, alleges he lost half of his mind, we’ve watched as a parade of expert witnesses racked up the billable hours to so far prove that something abominable happened on the mountain that day.

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Gwyneth Paltrow Testified At Trial That She Lost A Half Day’s Worth Of Skiing

March 27, 2023 / Posted by:

Day five of Caucasian Court TV’s highest-rated show, The Cashmere Yeti: Vengeance at Deer Valley, is underway and earlier today we heard testimony from Terry Sanderson, the 76-year-old retired optometrist who claims that his life was ruined after Gwyneth Paltrow sent him “absolutely flying” when she skied into him from behind at the Deer Valley Resort in Park City, Utah in 2016. Terry claims to have suffered permanent brain damage that has turned into an unlikable person and robbed him of his ability to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, like wine tasting. On Friday, Gwyneth took the stand and claimed that it was Terry who skied into her that day, and as a result, she “lost half a day of skiing.” She did not, however, blame him for her personality or her inability to enjoy the simple pleasures of life, like food tasting.

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The Alleged Victim In Gwyneth Paltrow’s Ski Accident Trial Claims He Can No Longer Enjoy Wine Tasting Because Of Her

March 23, 2023 / Posted by:

A scream pierces the crystalline blue skies above a pristine alpine wonderland. Suddenly, chaos. A once “charming” man’s life is forever altered. He is, after a run-in with one Gwyneth Kate Paltrow, AKA the Cashmere Yeti, “no longer charming.” So says the attorney of Terry Sanderson, the man who claims his ability to enjoy the finer things in life, like wine tasting, was snuffed out in an instant when Gwyneth plowed into him on the bunny slope of the Deer Valley Resort in Park City, Utah on Feb. 26, 2016, a day that will live in infamy. The stakes literally could not be higher for Gwyneth as she continues to fight for her honor in a drab and drafty civil courtroom. Gwyneth stands accused of causing Terry to suffer “a life-altering brain injury” as a result of her “neglect, her choices and her disregard,” according to The Washington Post. Terry, 76, is suing Gwyneth for $300,000, down from his initial request for $3 million. Gwyneth is counter-suing for $1.

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Scheana Shay’s Attorney Said Her Client Never Punched “Liar and Cheat” Raquel Leviss

March 10, 2023 / Posted by:

As more Vanderpump RulesRaquel” (actually Rachel) Leviss/Tom Sandoval drama continues to unravel, Hailey Bieber has to be thankful for getting a reprieve from the recent heat she’s been catching. Luckily for her, Scandoval just keeps going. As we heard, Raquel obtained a temporary protection order against Scheana Shay, alleging that Scheana popped her in the eye upon hearing of Raquel and Tom’s betrayal of their mutual friend/Tom’s girlfriend of 9 years, Ariana Madix. Though Raquel included photos of her supposed black eye and cut eyebrow in the TPO paperwork, Scheana’s attorney came through with a guns-blazing statement on behalf of Scheana yesterday, basically saying that dishonest double-crosser Raquel’s eye has been that way for months and Scheana never touched her. 

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