Caitlyn Jenner Thinks Donald Trump Would Be Good For Women And The LGTB Community

Caitlyn Jenner (who I still can’t with that cheap Kardashian Kollection for Sears-looking jumpsuit she wore on the SI cover) has let it be known time and time again that she gets a warm fuzzy feeling in her heart for Conservative types. So it should come as no surprise that she still has good thoughts about Republican presidential nominee hopeful and human overcooked buffet omelette Donald Trump.

The last time Caitlyn verbally patted Trump on his gross back, she was saying that despite being a total pig around women, Donald Trump would be good for women’s issues. Caitlyn still thinks he’d be good for women, and now she’s added the LGTB community to the list of people President Trump would do good by. Caitlyn got into it while discussing trans health during a recent interview with STAT (via People). Caitlyn isn’t officially endorsing Trump, but she’s not exactly not endorsing him, either.

“Everybody looks at the Democrats as being better with these issues. But Trump seems to be very much for women. He seems very much behind the LGBT community because of what happened in North Carolina with the bathroom issue. He backed the LGBT community. But in Trump’s case, there’s a lot more unknowns. With Hillary, you pretty much know what you’re gonna get with the LGBT community.”

Somewhere, Donald Trump is reading that and thinking: “Excuse you, Caitlyn, but I will always fight for the LGTB community. Ladies with Good Tits and Butts have always been, and will always be, my top priority.”

But of course Caitlyn thinks Trump would be good for women. Caitlyn spent so many years around the Kardashians that the only “issues” she knows to be important to women are real-looking fake hair, injectable plastics, and high-density makeup. “Look, Trump knows women. For example, he uses the same brand of thick orange facial spackle as my daughter Kylie.”

Pic: Instagram

Kate Mulgrew Says She Was Born With Teeth, Lived In A Cage Till She Was 4

In “Truly Weird Childhoods” news, Kate Mulgrew, aka Red from Orange is the New Black or Cpt. Janeway from Star Trek: Voyager, tells us about little Kate Mulgrew. Little Kate Mulgrew has lived through some shit.

During an interview with ITV’s Lorraine (via UsWeekly), Kate talked about her memoirs that were released last year called Born With Teeth. That title is no metaphor. Kate admitted that when she popped out of her mom, she was born with a mouthful of teeth. I always thought a newborn’s surprise special features and no-cost upgrades were limited to a few extra toes or a full head of hair, but no. Apparently infants can be born with a condition called “neonatal teeth.” Kate says she was one of those babies.

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Vince Neil And Nicolas Cage Got Into A Messy Fight In Las Vegas

I honestly did not expect to see two famous balls of crazy get into a dramatic fight outside of a hotel in Las Vegas today, but here we are. Last night around 5pm, Nicolas Cage, the human equivalent of a dental surgery morphine trip, and Vince Neil, lead singer of Mötley Crüe man who I’m 90% sure is the gopher from Caddyshack’s long-lost daddy, got into a brawl outside of the Aria Hotel in Las Vegas.

According to TMZ, the fight started inside the Aria after a woman came up to Nicolas and Vince and asked Nicolas for an autograph. Sources claim that Vince, apropos of nothing, came up behind the woman, allegedly yanked her hair and pulled her to the ground. Nicolas Cage clearly has a little H.I. McDunnough nerve still in him, because he responded by beating on Vince. Nic eventually took their fight outside in an attempt to get Vince into a car. The latter half of their fight was caught on video.

TMZ says that Vince was sited for battery, but didn’t take a trip to the police station. He’s currently the subject of a criminal investigation. Vince Neil probably already knows the drill, since this isn’t his first time getting in trouble for acting like a violent mess in Las Vegas.

But back to that video. For those of you wondering what kind of drugs Nicolas Cage is on that would cause him to go from full-blown screaming-in-a-parking-lot fight mode to holding his enemy close and whispering sweet nonsense in his ear, the answer is: I don’t think he’s on drugs. I’m pretty sure that’s just Nicolas Cage’s normal level of insanity.

Whoopi Goldberg And Charlie Sheen Are Starring In A Movie About 9/11

There’s a sequence of words I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d ever write. Variety says that Whoopi Goldberg – whose “You need to fire your agent, girl” look in the picture above says it all – and the painful urination sensation known as Charlie Sheen have been cast in a movie about 9/11 called (wait for it) Nine Eleven. It will be directed by Martin Guigui and begins filming on Monday in Long Beach, CA. Because nothing says New York City like Long Beach.

According to Variety, Nine Eleven is about five people trapped in an elevator in the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. Not much is known about Whoopi and Charlie’s characters, like whether or not Charlie’s character will believe the government is behind it all. But we do know they’ll be stuck in an elevator along with Luis Guzman (aka Maurice from Boogie Nights), Wood Harris (aka Avon from The Wire), and Olga Fonda (aka Nadia from The Vampire Diaries).

Obviously Whoopi + Charlie Sheen + 9/11 Movie sounds like the formula for the kind of mess that will sweep every category of the Razzies. But who knows? Maybe it won’t be that bad. I will say that there’s a very good chance the performances from Luis, Wood, and Olga will go down in history as some of the most-convincing acting seen this decade. Imagine showing up to work every day and remembering you’re in a movie about September 11th starring Whoopi and Charlie Sheen? I doubt you’d have to act very hard to make people believe you when your character says stuff like “This is a nightmare!” and “Get me out of here!”

Pics: Wenn.com

Rooney Mara Still Has More To Say About The Whitewashing Of Tiger Lily

Rooney Mara could fill a football stadium with the hate she’s received from playing the whitest-looking Tiger Lily ever in Joe Wright’s Peter Pan flop called Pan. A little while after the movie was released, Rooney said that she was sorry you felt it was weird that a white Victorian ghost played a Native American character. Now that the dust has settled a bit, she has more to say. Except this time, she wants you to know that it wasn’t really whitewashing because the real Tiger Lily isn’t even Native American.

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Tori Spelling’s Drunk Alter Ego Is A Public Pissing Fiend Named Terri

Thanks to a preview of tonight’s episode of Kocktails With Khloe, a show that won’t be followed by the words “…has been kancelled” for at least 15 more episodes, I can now add one more reason to the ever-growing list of why I kurse the Kardashian name. And that reason has to do with the fact that I now have a mental picture of a sloppy Tori Spelling popping a squat and using her living room carpet like a litter box assaulting my brain.

In a clip from tonight’s episode, Tori admits that when Tori gets drunk, she turns into Terri. According to Tori, Terri – which is short for TerriTORI, because EVERYTHING is a tori pun with this trick – is a fucking mess who pisses under the table and in potted plants. Basically, Terri is the poor (and I mean poor) man’s Jennifer Lawrence.

Somewhere there’s an incontinent Cocker Spaniel who is thinking: “Bitch stole my look AND my moves? Rude.”

Tori claims Terri doesn’t come out that often because she has kids. But I bet it’s because she needs to stay sober enough to make sure The Deaner’s drunk alter ego, The Wiener, doesn’t cause too much damage. It’s really not that tough of a job; she just has to have an extra set of pants ready for when he wakes up in the shed after a night of pounding brewskis and realizes he’s pissed himself. “Aw shit, looks like The Wiener struck again! Tori, do me a favor and grab the garden hose? I wanna rinse off real quick.“