Category: Food Fuckery
Open Post: Hosted By Padma Lakshmi Saying She Eats 8,000 To 9,000 Calories A Day While Filming “Top Chef”
The other night, Padma Lakshmi went on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, and she and Jimmy Kimmel got to talkin’ about her new Sports Illustrated photo shoot. Entertainment Tonight reports that Padma told Jimmy that she would’ve killed for the opportunity as a twenty-something model, but now, at age 52, the prospect of posing in a bikini totally freaked her out. Padma says she immediately thought, “I gotta go to the gym!” Fortunately, she was already hitting the gym hard cuz she was trying to work off the weight she’d gained while filming the latest season of Top Chef. Jimmy asked how many calories Padma eats while filming Top Chef, and she answered “8 or 9,000 calories a day. Easily!” Big whoop, I can eat 9,000 calories in one sitting (when I’m blackout drunk and feasting on Mcdonald’s).
Open Post: Hosted By The Hockey Fan Who Ate Mayo-Dipped Licorice
We all have our food-based guilty pleasures. I, for one, enjoy candy corn. It tastes like congealed sugar, but that’s part of its disgusting charm. Other people pop green olives like they’re M&Ms. It’s not our place to judge what someone else consumes. Well, sometimes, anyway! People are questioning if we should more rigidly define what a “snack” is after seeing a Toronto Maple Leaf fan’s choice: licorice dipped in mayonnaise.
Open Post: Hosted By Omaha Steak’s Offer Of Lifetime Burgers If You Get A Get A Tattoo Of A Burger On Your Ass
Sometimes I think marketing people have it the worst. You have to try to get people to buy subpar merchandise, all while convincing your bosses that you can keep their million-dollar expectations under budget. It’s no wonder they come up with the most bizarre concepts to drum up business. Today’s example: get free food forever from Omaha Steaks IF you get a hyper-realistic burger tatted onto your butt! Who doesn’t want to have to explain the massive burger on your ass every time you go to the beach?
Open Post: Hosted By The New Breakfast Flavored Cup Noodles
Spring is a time of rebirth, so Big FoodBev has seemingly been putting in work to disgust and/or delight us with “innovative” new products. Finally, there’s a convenient new food worthy of washing down with that limited edition Peepsi! Cup Noodles (or “Cup O’Noodles,” if ya nasty) just released a new instant ramen flavor: breakfast.
Open Post: Hosted By The Death Of The $1 New York Pizza Slice
It’s the end of an era. The New York dollar slice is dead. Rest in peace, you dirt-cheap, greasy bastard. The New York Post reports that the last remaining $1 pizza joint, 2 Bros. Pizza, was forced to raise their prices to $1.50 to keep up with inflation. Decades from now, you’ll tell your great-great-grandkids, “I remember the days I could get a slice for a buck.” And, because pizza slices in 2083 will cost you at least ¥137 (or 8,100 NFTs) , the kids will assume you’ve gone mad and finally ship your old ass off to Shady Pines…
Chris Martin Says He Only Eats One Meal A Day To Look Like Bruce Springsteen
Insider reports Chris Martin went on Conan O’Brien’s podcast, Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend, and the pair chatted about meeting their heroes. Conan asked Chris if any of his idols ever gave him advice over dinner, and Chris revealed that, actually, he doesn’t eat dinner anymore. He stops eating at 4 pm and only has one big meal daily. Like a snake! Now, before you blame Chris’ strict diet on his ex-wife, bone broth enthusiast Gwyneth Paltrow, think again. It’s actually Bruce Springsteen’s fault! Turns out The Boss doesn’t just have a Hungry Heart; he also has a Hungry Tummy.