Category: All Kinds Of Yes
Three Words: OH GOD YES!
The bad news is that if mutated Boglin Donald Trump wins the GOP presidential nomination, he won’t choose Sarah Palin as his VP. The good news is that Trump won’t pick Sarah, because she’ll probably be too busy trying to be a TV star again.
People says that the current baddest freestyle rapper in the game has signed a deal with production company Warm Springs to do a syndicated court show like Judge Judy. Sarah Palin may become Judge Mama Grizzly! The show doesn’t have a name yet (SPOILER ALERT: They’re going to call it “I Can See Your Guilt From My House“) and no stations have picked it up yet (SPOILER ALERT: Wasilla Public Access is going to buy the exclusive rights to it), but the plan is to shoot a pilot where Judge Mama Grizzly spits out nonsense from her salad spinner of a mouth while presiding over cases. No, Sarah Palin doesn’t have a law degree, but I’m sure she has an online certificate in Keeping It Real from the Community College of Hard Knocks and that’s all that matters.
Warm Springs has already put together a team that includes an executive from Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown. The source also dribbled about this stream of messiness:
“It’s a production deal. What happens next is she’ll meet with stations, make a pilot and sell it. Palin’s telegenic personality, wide appeal and common sense wisdom make her a natural for this kind of format and she was Warm Springs’ top pick for this project.”
Are they hiring writers yet? Because to write Sarah Palin’s lines for her, all you have to do is take a lot of pain killers, get drunk, pull all the pages out of a “word of the day” desk calendar and then randomly arrange them in sentences. That’s pretty much the technique I use to write my Dlisted posts. And Sarah Palin doing a court show is like Dr. Jenny McCarthy and Dr. Kristin Cavawhatever doing a medical advice show. I can’t wait!
Pic: Splash
Messy Unicorn Dreams Do Come True, Mimi Is Doing A Reality Show
More magical moments like Mimi getting pushed around on a janky chair cart may soon hit our eyeballs, because UsWeekly and Page Six say that she’s currently shooting a reality show for E!. Mimi doing a reality show covers my stale soul with thick layers of glittery YES, because I have a feeling it’s going to be a glorious mess like her legendary Cribs episode. But all of those thick layers of glittery YES immediately got covered with skid marks of NO after I read that it’s for E!. Mimi should not put herself in the same basic cable family as the Kartrashians. Mimi’s reality show should be for Bravo since it’ll probably be like Real Housewives of LisaFrankLand.
Tim Gunn Took A Giant Krap On The Kardashians
And just like that, Tim Gunn received an invoice from Kardashian family pimp Kris Jenner with a copy of that headline and a note saying: “Just letting you know that sort of thing costs extra.”
If you woke up this morning with a little extra pep in your step, you can thank the no-fucks-giving angel of truth Tim Gunn. Once again, Tim opened his heart and released a million warm feelings during a recent interview with the Huffington Post while talking about America’s First Family of Frozen-Faced Tackiness. It all started when Tim was asked his thoughts on Kanye West’s latest collection of crappy clothing. Somewhere in Hell, Satan is already sweating the angry conference call he’s about to get from Pimp Mama Kris and her kurrent favorite son-in-law. Continue reading
Tim Gunn Came For Anna Wintour Again And I Love It
I may swear off the bong (never) if Tim Gunn keeps at it, because his shady tidbits about his arch rival Anna Wintour hug my soul and take me to happy places. If Tim Gunn dropped daily nuggets about the hilariously bitchy ways of Anna Wintour, the makers of every anti-depressant would go out of business. This is our Prozac. This is better than a damn puppy video.
The Gay Remake Of “Hart To Hart” We’ve All Been Waiting For Is Happening
Technically, I haven’t been waiting for a gay remake of Hart to Hart, because I didn’t know it was possible. It’s one of those things that I didn’t know I needed in my life until now. Sure, if Hollywood is going to make a show about a glamorous crime solver whose hunger for catching killers is as strong as their hunger for the finer things in life, they should make a show about Detective La Toya Jackson, but this is the next best thing. I usually hate remakes more than lube that dries too fast, but I can’t hate on the return of Hart to Hart.
Deadline reports that NBC is working on a reboot of the classic, which ran from 1979 to 1984 and starred Robert Wagner as Jonathan Hart and Stefanie Powers as the glamour goddess Jennifer Hart. In the reboot, Jonathan and Jennifer Hart have been replaced by an opulent jet-settling gay couple who travel the world solving crimes.
Written by Christopher Fife (Revenge, Private Practice), based on the Sidney Sheldon-created original, the new Hart To Hart is described as a modern and sexy retelling of the classic series that focuses on “by the book” attorney Jonathan Hart and free-spirited investigator Dan Hartman, who must balance the two sides of their life: action-packed crime-solving in the midst of newly found domesticity. The project, which has received a script commitment plus penalty after interest from multiple networks, is executive produced by Fife and Carol Mendelsohn Prods.’ Mendelsohn and Julie Weitz.
I’m not going to get too excited over this, though, because it’s in development, which means it could spend the rest of its life eating dust on the shelves while shit like a teenage remake of Bewitched starring Lorde (that wasn’t a suggestion, Hollywood) gets made. So I won’t believe it until I see a trailer of the gay Hart to Hart starring Harald Gloockler, John Barrowman and Stefanie Powers as Maxine (that was a suggestion, Hollywood).
ICYMI: Quentin Tarantino Hates On “True Detective, ” “The Town” And Movies Starring Cate Blanchett
Quentin Tarantino (seen above looking like a stoned bird smelling fart) talked to Vulture about his new movie The Hateful Eight and other shit, and it’s the kind of interview a big director gives when he doesn’t give a shit and is in a position where he can get away with saying almost anything. QT doesn’t suck on ass lips and he doesn’t lick toes (I mean, that ONLY figuratively, of course). The feet-loving bag of pompousness dropped some hate on Ben Affleck’s directing skills, shit on True Detective 2 and said that looking at Cate Blanchett’s IMDB page is like looking at a bucketful of chum used to catch an Oscar!