Category: A Check Is A Check
Oscar Isaac Will Only Return To “Star Wars” If He Needs The Money
Late last year, we saw the final Star Wars film in the third official Star Wars trilogy, which I know is as confusing as trying to decipher what R2-D2 is saying, so I’m very sorry about that. Basically, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker pretty much wrapped up all the stories created by George Lucas’ Star Wars prequels and sequels. It’s done! We know what happened to Luke and Leia and Chewy and all those crazy puppets – they lived happily ever after (or…dead, depending on the character). For example, here’s what happened to Oscar Isaac’s Poe Dameron. He ended the trilogy looking hot and serious and (sadly) not getting space-married to Finn. Poe’s story is done, and so is Oscar’s time with Star Wars. Well, at least for the time being. There is one thing that could pull him back into the galaxy far, far away, and it’s money.
So, About Ja Rule’s Gyro Commercial…..
If you had asked me to predict which person connected to the Fyre Festival would not only appear in a commercial, but that the commercial would eventually go viral on the internet, I would have played it safe and put all my money on the most obvious choice: Andy King shilling for Evian. Lo and behold, it’s Ja Rule showing his love for a local Los Angeles gyro restaurant in a low-budget commercial.
Channing Tatum Is Freaking Out Over An Astrology App
Sometimes, celebrities tend to overshare on their social media. And whenever they do, you can best believe most people will be there to watch and judge like, “What the hell are they on?” Prepare yourselvesm children, for there is a brand new WTF video going around and it stars Channing Tatum as a confused man filled with many questions. And no, one of those questions isn’t, “Should I buy new G-strings for Magic Mike 3?” Think more along the lines of a guy who got completely stoned and began questioning an astrology app that really dug too deep into all of his personal business. You can also file this under: the things Channing Tatum will do for a check!
R. Kelly’s Bank Account Has Reportedly Hit Negative
This is not a photo of R. Kelly illustrating on two fingers the number of dollars he has left to his name, because he can only dream of holding that much wealth in his back pocket. R. Kelly’s financial situation is as broke as his morals and he’s reportedly got a balance of negative $13 in his bank account. Yep, lucky negative thirteen. It’s a beautiful poetic justice when vengeance is served fast and right where it hurts the most. In this case not the balls but the bank account. I think we’d all have settled for balls, but bank account will do if a swifty to the nuts isn’t possible.
“Grease” Is Getting A Movie Prequel Because Ruining Things Is Fun
The 1978 classic movie musical Grease is getting a prequel, because leaving well enough alone is not something Hollywood is interested in fucking with anymore, and for the sake of $$$ they really think we want to know why Olivia Newton-John got so hard up for John Travolta that she changed herself to be with him and later ended up chained up to radiator at Gold Base after she tried to leave him because she didn’t want to be in Scientology anymore (I’m guessing that’s what happens in the follow-up to Grease).
R. Kelly Asked The Media To Leave Him Alone Ahead Of An Appearance At A Poorly Attended Private Event
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. It’s about this poor guy who is a victim. R. Kelly, who is currently out on bond for numerous counts of sexual abuse, took to his Instagram page last night to illicit a little compassion from the media ahead of a private party in Springfield, Illinois that he was paid in actual U.S. currency to attend. R. asked in his calmest “pretty please” voice for the media to leave him alone, but it turns out he didn’t really need to worry, because the party was pretty much a flop. I guess not that many people are willing to pay to hang out with R. Kelly these days. You don’t say.